Living in Two Worlds
by Masterman
Summary: The Marvel vs. Capcom 3 characters are forced to live together in one home until the game comes out. What wonderful misadventures will these friends get into next? With wild scenarios and crazy randomness, who knows what could happen next.
1. Settling In

LIVING IN TWO WORLDS

Basically, the premise of this story revolves around the misadventures of the Marvel vs. Capcom 3 roster. The introductory characters are living in a house together, and revealed characters join in later on. The characters are being forced to live together until the game comes out and I'm just telling ridiculous stories and funny scenarios. Cameos from all kinds of other Marvel/Capcom characters appear as well. A pretty basic story, but oh well, I get bored sometimes and I like to write down my thoughts on some weird adventures I think would be funny for these characters to have. Right now, I know I'm not supposed to write in this format because I was warned about doing the script-style format. So I'm going to change it to how it should be after chapter 2. I hope some will find this entertaining.

You will see me make references to Seth Killian and Yoshinori Ono alot. Look them up if you want to know who they are. Basically, Ono is the one forcing the characters to live together. And Seth is observing them from afar to make sure they do the right thing. Early on, there aren't really any antagonists, but later I'll try to establish an interesting plot. The characters so far are as follows:

Dante (Capcom)

Chris Redfield (Capcom)

Ryu (Capcom)

Chun-Li (Capcom)

Morrigan (Capcom)

Felicia (Capcom)

Trish (Capcom)

Amaterasu (Capcom)

Iron Man (Marvel)

Wolverine (Marvel)

Super Skrull (Marvel)

Dr. Doom (Marvel)

Hulk (Marvel)

Deadpool (Marvel)

Captain Amercia (Marvel)

1. Settling In

The guests unpack their things in the house and we hear some of the housemates and get their opinions before we send them off into the world of...housemates.

Deadpool: Yeah...this game is pretty fun so far. I mean, they gave me the goddamned moonwalk. Sure, I bruised my left calf after Captain USA did his Level 3 Super on me, but oh well.

Chris: Yeah, to be honest, I don't know how I made it in. There was a lot of competition and I had a feeling I would get cut after my...unimpressive audition. But Ono looked at me and had this huge Japanese grin on his face and told me I made it. It...well...*turns head away from camera* *silently cries*

Doctor Doom: Yeah, I have returned yet again to this game and well, I can't say I'm happy. My best friend Strider Hiryu isn't with me...and I'm afraid I might be low tier. Fuck it, no I'm not. I mean come on, we have Chris and the Hulk. Yeah, I'm not too worried.

Amaterasu: WOOOOOF

Dante: I have like...18 special moves. So many options. I'm gonna be invincible. But with all these moves, I gotta keep it stylish. Heh heh. Damn...Morrigan is really sexy..

Hulk: HULK PICK UP GROUND.

Captain America: I am boring as shit. Why do you want my opinion?

Trish: I have never been in this type of game before...but this girl here has horse legs. Is that normal?

Ryu: So, I have had the same moveset for 10 years now. No doubt I'm gonna suck in this game. Oh well, my passion for fighting keeps me going. At least I have the Mule Kick. *crosses arms as breeze billows gi*

Morrigan: I'm totally gonna get all of these guys in my bed. I might even fuck the wolf.

Wolverine: Bub, I'm going to put it to ya straight. I'm going to destroy every one of these chumps in this game. My rage will be unleshed and blood will be shed. Just like in that one game of mine...X-Men Origins.

Iron Man: Hmm...my repulsor blasts and my Proton Cannon could use some fine-tuning...

Super Skrull: I have the combined powers of the Fantastic Four. Yeah. Enough said.

Chun-Li: This is going to be a lonnnnng day.

Felicia: Hmm...that Wolverine guy is pretty cool. Meeeow.

As the guests settle...some friendships are made...and some rivalries.  
Most of the guests are settled in the living room, while others are doing their own thing. Dante is seen walking in the kitchen, while Chun reads a magazine, sitting on a stool in the kitchen near the main table.

Ryu, Captain America, Hulk, Chris, and Trish occupy the living room.

Dante: HEY, THERE'S NOTHING IN THE FRIDGE!

Chun-Li rolled her eyes immediately.

Chun-Li: Cook something if you're hungry.

Dante: Umm. I repeat...THERE IS NOTHING IN THE FRIDGE.

Ryu: I eat apples to keep my strength. *throws tennis ball against wall and catches it repeatedly*

Captain America: Apples huh? You're a damn lie. You need meat to stay strong.

Hulk: Hulk agrees. Meat is the greatest source of protein.

Chris: Yeah, I like to eat eggs raw. I mean, I would crack them out of the shell and slurp them down. It would replenish like 15% of my life.

Chun looked at Chris in disgust.

Chun: That is just..nasty...

Trish: Yeah...it really is...

Chris just shrugged as he began to polish his knife.

Dante: You guys are weird. I just want a sandwich...someone needs to go grocery shopping.

Chris: Not me.

**JUST THEN...**

Deadpool emerged from his room and he sat on a stool near Chun. His silence concerned a few guests.  
Captain America stared at Deadpool.

Captain A: Deadpool? Is something wrong?

Deadpool shook his head violently as if having a seizure.

Chris: You look like you watched a whole episode of Jersey Shore.

Dante: Hey, hey, hey. Don't insult Jersey Shore!

Trish: That show is stupid.

Dante: *DMC1 scream* LIES.

Hulk: Deadpool? Hulk is worried!

Deadpool's body was stiff and he coldly pointed down the hallway.

Deadpool: I don't understand life anymore.

Dante squinted.

Dante: Hmm...

Dante looked down the hallway. He then looked back at Chris. Chris nodded, stood up, and followed Dante down the long hallway.

Ryu stopped with his tennis ball and began to follow as well.

Captain: Sooo...Deadpool...what did you see?

The camera panned around Deadpool and he turned around and gave off the Dramatic Chipmunk look, with the music intact.  
As soon as Deadpool did that, Iron Man crashed through the ceiling and landed on the couch, exhausted. Hulk jumped up with his fists clenched about to pound the shit out of Tony for scaring him like that.

Trish: What happened Tony?

The billionaire looked at Trish.

Iron Man: My suit overloaded...my stabilizers went negative and I plummeted. I'll pay to get this fixed...

Chun just shook her head. Captain America and Hulk looked at each other. Deadpool just sat there, eyes wider than a deer in headlights.

**DOWN THE HALLWAY**

Dante, Ryu, and Chris silently tiptoed down the hall. It was a dark hallway and noises were coming from the last room to the left. Morrigan's room.

Ryu: Chris, do you have a...a um...a tool to give us some light?

Dante: A flashlight?

Ryu: Yes!

Dante: What the hell, Ryu...

Ryu: What?

Dante: Have you been living under a rock for the past 30 years?

Ryu: No...is it possible to live under rocks?

Chris: Patrick does it.

Dante: Both of you are idiots. Chris, shine your flashlight.

The flashlight shined down the hallway and illuminated the door. It was shut tight. Dante tried to open the door, but it wouldn't budge.

Dante: Holy shit, this door is stubborn. Guys, stand back. Imma kick it down.

Chris: DANTE, NO.

Dante: What?

Chris: Allow me. I learned this from a friend...the Master of Lockpicking.

Ryu: Wow...what a reference.

Dante: ?

Chris picked the door with the finest of ease. He opened the door slightly and peeked inside. He heard a bed shaking, moans, and it smelled like animals.

Chris shut the door silently.

Chris: Holy shit it stinks!

Dante: Quit being a pansy! What's going on in there?

Ryu: Yeah!

Chris: Alright. All three of us go in at the same time. Ready? 1...2...

Chris's hand firmly gripped the door.

Chris: 3!

The trio crashed in through the door and the sight they saw was unlike any they had ever seen. Ryu's eyes went wider than Deadpool's. Dante just sat there with a blank expression and Chris rubbed his eyes and slapped himself a few times.

Amaterasu, Felicia, and Wolverine were having the nastiest threesome ever. Morrigan sat in a chair all the way across the room with her legs crossed, laughing at the three who came crashing in.

Ryu let out the most ungodly cry ever heard.

Ryu: SWEET MOTHER OF HADOUKEN.

Dante: This is one helluva party...and I'm going to uninvite myself. Right now...

Chris: Oh my...is this even possible?

Ryu couldn't take it anymore. He Shoryuken'd himself in the face so hard it knocked him out cold.

Felicia screamed and Wolverine jumped off of her. Amaterasu howled as Wolverine split the ass in two. Wolverine hopped off the bed, refreshed.

Wolverine: That was great. Gotta do it again sometime.

As Wolverine turned around, he saw Dante and Chris. He was naked. Wolverine was infuriated.

Wolverine: HOW LONG WERE YOU STANDING THERE?

Dante: Trust me dude, no longer than we wanted.

Wolverine: GRAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHh

Felicia: Calm down, Wolvie.

Dante burst out laughing. Chris couldn't help but smile. For being such a rude berserker he sure did have a cute nickname.

Dante: WOLVIE!

Chris: HEY WOLVIE, COME AND LICK MY KITTY LITTER.

As Chris said this, he turned around and patted his ass.

Wolverine turned blood red. Morrigan laughed her ass off and Felicia started crying.

Wolverine: You two are dead.

Wolverine wrapped a towel around his body and his claws emerged. He jumped over the bed and made a blind run at Dante and Chris. Chris grabbed Ryu's leg and dragged him down the hallway.

Dante and Chris ran as fast as they could and eventually made it into the living room.  
Hulk, Trish, Chun and Captain America were playing pool. Deadpool and Iron Man were sitting on the couch playing MVC2 on the PS3.

Dante and Chris ran through the living room down the hallway opposite of the one they just came from. Wolverine was hot on their asses.

Hulk just stared.

Hulk: Hulk thinks that...

*Wolverine's towel comes off*

Hulk: ...Hulk thinks that it's his shot...

Captain America nodded.

Dante and Chris made their way down the hallway and ran into the nearest room they could find. Doctor Doom's room. They slammed the door behind them and locked it. They were panting heavily and seconds later a claw pierced through the door, skimming only inches above Chris's head.

Chris: HOLY SHIT.

Dante: What do we do?

Chris pointed to the window near the bed.

Chris: Window?

Dante: Sounds good.

The two made a dash for the window, but they hadn't even noticed two men sitting at a table with cards in their hands.

Super Skrull: Doom, it's over! Dark Magician, FINISH HIM!

Doctor Doom: This isn't MORTAL KOMBAT! ARRRGHHHHHHH!

The two were playing Yu-Gi-Oh and hadn't even noticed Dante and Chris. Or their impaled door.

Super Skrull: Take that DOOM!

Doctor Doom: *knocks table over and throws cards around* I CALL BULLSHIT.

Super Skrull stood.

Super Skrull: BULLSHIT! FOR WHAT! I WON FAIR AND SQAURE!

Doom: EAT MY ASS.

Super Skrull: I don't have to! Mr. Fantastic does that enough!

Doom pointed at Skrull as if he had went too far.

Doom: YOU'VE GONE TOO FAR, SKRULL.

Skrull: Alright, let's settle this over Magic: The Gathering.

Doom: Bring it, bitch. I spit hot fire.

Skrull: Eat a sack of baby dicks.

The two argued for what seemed like an eternity. Dante and Chris just shrugged as they hopped through the window.

**OUTSIDE**

Dante and Chris landed safely outside. The sky was dreary and ominous. It was going to rain soon. The wind picked up and thunder boomed in the distance.

Dante: Well...this sucks..

Chris: Yeah...

Dante: I wonder where Wolvie is...? *giggle*

Chris: Hahahaha, probably eating some Kitty Chow.

The two laughed their asses off outside.

**LIVING ROOM**

Wolverine came storming back in the living room, naked as could be.

Chun: Oh my god, put some clothes on.

Hulk: And shave before you do that...it's like your wearing a wig down there.

Deadpool and Iron Man were watching Pimp My Ride. Deadpool looked back.

Deadpool: I HEAR YA JOLLY GREEN GIANT!

Hulk smiled.

Wolverine stomped over near Hulk and pushed his claws against his torso.

Wolverine: Don't start with me, you oversized green bean.

Hulk turned around and stood over Wolverine. He pushed his pinky finger against Wolverine's head.

Hulk: And what are you going to do if Hulk doesn't stop? You angry chinchilla. Hulk ponders.

Wolverine gnashed his teeth and glared holes into Hulk. Hulk was unfazed however.

Iron Man: Logan. Calm down. Remember what your therapist said.

Wolverine looked over at Tony.

Wolverine: SHUT UP.

Chun: What did those two do to you?

Wolverine: They poked fun at me. I'm going to get them back. I don't know where they ran to, but they better keep one eye open when they sleep.

Chun just sighed.

Deadpool: Well, if they saw what I saw, they wouldn't be making fun of you. They would be praising you. I mean, you boned two-

Wolverine: -SHUT IT, DEADPOOL.

Deadpool: Shutting.

Captain America puts his pool stick down.

Captain: Well, I'm sure you three can work it out Logan. Just don't do anything stupid. We don't want you booted from the game.

Wolverine: They piss me off.

Trish: Well..Dante is like that. He still has that...child side to him.

Chun: All men do.

Deadpool: TELL EM' SISTER.

Chun: I;m talking about you too, Deadpool.

Deadpool does the Dramatic Chipmunk once again.

Wolverine: Bah, whatever. When I see those two, I'm still gonna get em'. But..maybe not as bad.

He looked at Hulk.

Wolverine: My bad Bruce.

Hulk: Hulk accepts apology.

As the two shook hands, Ryu emerged from his coma and sat on a stool in the kitchen. Chun looked over and saw him holding his head.

Chun: Ryu? Are you alright?

Ryu: Unnnghhh...

Wolverine slapped his hand on Ryu's shoulder.

Wolverine: You knocked yourself out, bub.

Ryu: I know...

Morrigan, Felicia, and Amaterasu also emerged from the hallway.

Iron Man: Hmm...from what Deadpool has already said...and from what I gather...I think I know what Logan did..

Trish: Me too.

Hulk: Hulk knows too.

Captain America: Yes. Quite disturbing.

Ryu poured some water in a glass and gulped it down.

Morrigan giggled as she spoke.

Morrigan: Well that was definitely interesting...

Deadpool closed his eyes and rubbed his temples.

Felicia: Wolv-

Wolverine: -FELICIA. DON'T.

Felicia: Oh...sorry, Logan.

Captain America laughed to himself. Hulk did aswell.

JUST THEN...

Doctor Doom and Super Skrull came walking down the hallway, into the living room. Arguing. AGAIN.

Super Skrull: Doom, you cannot defeat me. You may be a genius, but when it comes to card games, you BLOW.

Doom: Shut up..you..you..CUR.

Skrull laughed hysterically at Doom.

Hulk: Hulk confused...

Skrull: I beat his ass at Yugioh. THEN kicked his ass at Magic. He's butthurt.

Doom: YOUR MOTHER.

Skrull: YOURS!

Chun: So many immature men...

Trish: Yep.

Morrigan: I think it's cute.

Felicia: Me too!

Wolverine grunted.

ALL OF A SUDDEN...

Chris and Dante come running in the house.

Wolverine jumped from his stool and stood in their direction. His sadistic grin widened.

Wolverine: Heh heh heh...

Dante: WOLVERINE, STOP. We're not here for any funny business. We have some...news...

Iron Man: News?

Iron Man turned off the TV

Iron Man: Elaborate.

Chris: Well, we talked to Ono.

Hulk: HULK DON'T UNDERSTAND.

Deadpool: Are you shitting me?

Morrigan: Why? What did he say?

Dante: Well..we have two more guests.

Chris: And...we have to do...chores...around the house...

Trish: Hmm...

Dante: Yeah, I heard one of the names. Some guy named Thor.

Hulk: THOR? HULK HAPPY.

Iron Man: THOR!

Deadpool: THAT'S MY BEER BUDDY!

Captain America: ...

Doom: What's up America? Oh yeah, I forgot Thor totally boned your girlfriend.

Skrull: Holy shit, really?

Deadpool: Yeah. And all of the viewers know it. Talk about humiliating. If I had a girl I would equip her with a pimp-collar and keep her under control with my pimp-leash.

Amaterasu was sitting right by Deadpool. Deadpool looked at her and instantly gasped.

Deadpool: NO OFFENSE!

Chris: But that's not all. Ono said...well we have to figure out who does what...TONIGHT.

Felicia: Okay.

Dante: He gave me this hat, with all of these jobs in it. We each have to pick one...

Ryu: Oh my Tatsumaki Senpukyaku...

Everyone looked at Ryu.

Deadpool: Bless you.

Dante: Well...let's get started. We start in three days he told me...

The room gathered around the hat as Dante sat it on the floor.

The guests were almost afraid to touch the hat.

Chris: Who's going first?

Hulk: Hulk goes first.

Deadpool: BE BRAVE, GREEN MAN.

Hulk nods. Hulk reached into the hat and drew a small slip of paper. He examined the words on it.

Hulk: Fix the roof...

As he read this, he looked up and saw the giant hole Iron Man made. He looked over at Tony and Tony just smiled.

Iron Man: Sorry...

Chris: I'll go next.

Chris picked a slip.

Chris: Mow the lawn...

Skrull: HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA

Chris's face turned pale.

Ryu pointed at Chris.

Ryu: U sick?

Chris shook his head and sat on the couch, disgusted.

Captain America: My turn.

He drew the paper.

Captain America: Paint the walls?

There was an awkward silence in the room.

Captain America: Screw you guys.

Morrigan: Myyyyyy turn!

She drew from the hat.

Morrigan: Hmm...make up the beds...not bad. I guess.

Iron Man drew from the hat.

Iron Man: Holy shit.

Dante: WHAT IS IT?

Ryu smiled. Chun-Li grew curious.

Iron Man: Clean the bathrooms...

Tony slumped on the couch and threw his slip of paper.

Iron Man: FUCK.

Skrull drew his paper.

Skrull: Vacuum? THAT'S EASY!

Doom drew his paper.

Doom: Garbage dispenser...

Skrull: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Doom: Shut up.

Wolverine drew his.

Wolverine: Dusting. Great...

Deadpool: OH GOD XD

Skrull: Wolverine with a featherduster!

Dante: AND AN APRON.

Chris: Oh look! Wolvie's getting attacked by dust bunnies!

Felicia: Hahaha, hey Wolvie! They're making fun of you!

Wolverine's face went blood red again.

Iron Man: Oh boy...

America: Logan. Calm down. Just ignore them. They aren't worth it. You can get them tonight.

Wolverine's anger cooled and he just smiled.

Wolverine: Yeah...tonight. Heh heh heh...

Deadpool drew his.

Deadpool: Water the flowers? YIPPIE!

Felicia drew hers.

Felicia: Clear tables after meals and wash dishes. Is excluded from cooking.

Dante: THAT'S NOT FAIR.

Ryu: Cooking? Oh shit.

Dante: Yeah...uhm..I forgot. We each have to take turns cooking everyday...

Hulk: Hulk can't cook!

Dante just shrugged.

Trish drew hers.

Trish: Mop the floors. Weekly. Awesome.

Dante: NOOOOOOT FAAAAIIIIRRRRRR

Wolverine: Go ahead, Dante. Draw yours.

Dante: NOOOO!

Amaterasu drew hers.

Amaterasu: Hmm...wash the cars. Weekly.

Ryu drew his.

Ryu: LAUNDRY!

Ryu's eyes turned into question marks.

Iron Man: Ryu got the wroooong job...

America: Yep.

Chun: Oh my god...Ryu? Laundry? Those two don't belong in the same sentence.

Ryu broke out into a cold sweat.

Ryu: Oh my Metsu...

Chun drew hers.

Chun: Help wash cars. Weekly.

Doom: Disgusting.

Dante was the last one. He peeked in and there were two more slips. He grabbed one and read it.

Dante: Straighten up the living room and dining room. Not bad!

Chris: Looks like we're all done!

Doom: Yep. We all have our jobs. But...who cooks dinner tonight?

Chun: Dante said we don't have anything...

Dante: We don't!

Wolverine: Hmm...well...maybe we should go out to eat.

Doom: Like where?

Iron Man: Red Lobster?

America: Five Guys?

Hulk: DAVE AND BUSTERS!

Skrull: Maybe we should just like..get something quick. I don't think Ono wants us out long..

Dante: Where's the fun in that?

Deadpool: I say...we go to...SONIC.

Trish: Sonic? Umm..I guess.

Felicia: YEAH.

Ryu: Maybe some Chick-Fil-A.

Chris: It's Sunday.

Ryu: Oh..

Doom: I guess Sonic it is?

Dante: Looks like it.

Trish: Let's go.

Deadpool: I CALL SHOTGUN.

Silence.

Deadpool: IN THE HUMMER.

Doom: So there will be five in the Hummer, five in the Ferrari, and four in the Lexus.

America: Five in the Ferrari?

Doom: Yes. I'm sure Amaterasu can sit on someone's lap.

Amaterasu: ...

Iron Man: Perfect. Me, Amaterasu, Deadpool, Doom and Skrull in the Ferrari. I'm driving, and Deadpool called shotgun.

Amaterasu: I can sit in the middle.

Doom: Are you sure?

Skrull: Well, I'm rubbery, I won't take up that much room.

Dante: Me, Chris, Ryu, Trish, and Chun-Li in the Hummer. I'm driving.

Trish: Shotgun.

Chris: DAMMIT.

Ryu sat there with a confused look on his face.

Chris: The passenger seat, Ryu.

Still confused.

Chris: The seat next to the driver!

Ryu smiled.

Wolverine: So me, Felicia, Hulk, and America in the Lexus? Alright. I'm driving.

Hulk: Hulk too big for Lexus...

America: Don't worry Hulk. You'll fit.

Hulk sighed.

Dante grabbed the keys.

Dante: Alright everybody! LET'S GET SOMETHING TO EAT!

As soon as they ran through the door, it started to pour down rain.

Doom: ...How inconvienient.

Deadpool: Mother Nature is a jerk.

Chris: Whatever. Let's go guys.

The roommates crowded in their respective vehicles and began their journey to Sonic's.

-TBC


	2. Bottom of the Top

2. Bottom of the Top

As the roommates made their way to Sonic's, some unexprected surprises await them at the resteraunt.

Dante, Iron Man, and Wolverine were cruising in their respective vehicles. The rain pelted the vehicles, and made navigation more of a hassle.

All three of the drivers flipped on the windshield wipers, and Ryu watched in wonder as the wipers wiped away the water. He followed the wipers with his eyes and smiled. It was a very dreary ride filled with mostly silence. The guests were hungry, and growing impatient.

Dante groaned as the light went red. Cars flooded the road. And the only thing you could see was the flashing lights in the neon city. Signs lit up, and billboards had the dumbest advertisements on them. I mean really, "So easy a caveman could do it?" Get real.  
The city was overflowing with color. Clubs, bars, stores left and right. A giant Wal-Mart sat to the right, near the middle of the Seth Killian Highway. Verizon Wireless store, Resteraunts, Insurance places, Gamestop, Clothing stores, you name it. It was there. People walking the streets with umbrellas, puddles being splashed along the way, the city was drenched by the neverending shower.

**IN THE HUMMER**

Dante flipped up his cellphone. He proceeded to call Iron Man, because quite frankly, Dante was lost.

Ring...ring...ring...

Iron Man finally glanced at his silent phone and picked it up.

Iron Man: What's up, Dante?

Dante: Dude, where are you? Was I supposed to make a right on Dhalsim Road?

Iron Man: Yeah. After that, you just keep straight, and you should see it to your right.

Dante: Alright, thanks. You made it yet?

Iron Man: Yeah, we're just now pulling in.

Dante: Are you guys eating inside? Or are we going through the drive-thru?

Iron Man: I...I don't know...I guess we could eat inside. I'm starving.

Dante: Yeah, same here. Alright, meet ya there.

*Click*

Dante: Hang on guys, we're almost there.

Chris was sitting in the passengers seat, looking out the window. All the neon signs and lights intrigued him. Ryu was still watching the wipers in the backseat. Trish just looked around and messed with her hair. Chun just sat in the middle, quiet as a mouse.

Dante sighed. Why did the ride have to be so dreary?

After about 4 more minutes of riding, they finally made it to Sonic's and regrouped with the rest of the guests.

Iron Man was at the register, intent on buying everything on the menu.  
The cashier was an extremely tall, bald man. He wore no shirt, and had a giant scar on his chest. He wore an eyepatch, and had bandages wrapped around his fists. His namecard was stuck to the upper right side of his chest like a sticker. It said "Sagat". His voiced boomed throughout the resteraunt.

Sagat: Welcome to Sonic's. How may I take your order?

Iron Man: I would like a Chilli Cheese Coney, a corn dog, and a SuperSonic Cheeseburger.

Sagat: Anything to drink with that?

Iron Man: Sprite.

Sagat looked at Iron Man closely.

Sagat: What's with the suit?

Iron Man: I'm a superhero.

Iron Man coughed after what he said. There was an awkward silence.

Sagat: Right...

Iron Man: No, what I meant to say was...umm well, I'm in this game called Marvel vs. Capcom 3 and I'm on the Marvel side.

Sagat: Really? I tried out for that game, but I got cut. Ono said there would be.."too many Street Fighter characters". He was probably scared because of what happened after vanilla Street Fighter IV.

Iron Man: What happened?

Sagat: I was top tier.

Iron Man: Oh..

Sagat: Well, enough babbling.

Sagat turned around and walked down into the kitchen. His loud roar still boomed throughout the place, even though he was yelling in the background.

"ADON, YOU HAVE AN ORDER." Sagat screamed.

Adon was flipping patties with a spatula.

"TIGERS ARE NO MATCH FOR JAGUARS!" Adon yelled.

"IF YOU DON'T SHUT UP, MT TIGER UPPERCUT IS GOING STRAIGHT UP YOUR REAR END!" Sagat roared.

"I'M TOO QUICK FOR YOU, OLD MAN." Adon boasted.

"ADON, STOP PLAYING AROUND. I'M SERIOUS. YOU'RE GONNA GET FIRED BY URIEN IF YOU DON'T STOP." Sagat threatened.

Adon quickly shut his mouth and began to work on the order.

Sagat returned to the counter.

Sagat: Sorry.

Iron Man: No problem.

**20 MINUTES LATER.**

All the guests had gotten their food and they were enjoying it. They chatted about random things as they enjoyed their meals.

Dante sat with Chris and Ryu, right behind the five mentioned next.  
Chun Li sat with Trish, Morrigan, Felicia, and Amaterasu in a booth.  
Wolverine sat with Hulk, Iron Man, and Deadpool.  
Doctor Doom sat with Super Skrull and Captain Amercia, across from the four just mentioned.

Dante: So, Ryu...you know you have to pay me back, right?

Ryu: Yeah..I know.

Ryu took a huge bite out of his burger and washed it down with lemonade. Dante smiled as he did so.

Chris poked at his salad.

Chris: This salad is pretty good.

Dante gnashed on some of his chicken sandwich.

Dante: Chris, is that all you got?

Chris: No way. I'm saving my burger for later.

Ryu: Smart idea.

Chris: Yeah.

Dante: So what are we gonna do when we get home? Mess with Wolvie some more?

Ryu: I'm down.

Chris: Me too. Hahahaha.

Dante: Cool then. After that, we can play Mario Kart.

Felicia's ears perked. She looked over her seat and stared at Dante.

Felicia: Mario Kart? I love that game!

Dante: Hey hey hey! We got four players!

Ryu: Umm...I don't know how to play...

Chris: It's easy Ryu. We'll show you.

Ryu: There are too many buttons on the controller..

Chris: We will show you. Calm down.

Ryu slumped in his seat. "May Metsu have mercy on my soul..." he muttered.

Meanwhile, Trish whispered to Chun-Li and Morrigan.

Trish: Ryu is doing our laundry. This is bad.

Morrigan: Tell me about it.

Morrigan stuck her hot dog in her mouth and her tongue rolled all over it before she took a bite.  
Dante's mouth nearly hit the floor as he watched. Chris' eyes were about to pop out of his head and Iron Man had to wipe his forehead.

Chun Li just rolled her eyes.

Chun: Morrigan they are staring at you.

Morrigan giggled.

Morrigan: So? Let them stare.

Amaterasu chuckled.

Amaterasu: Morrigan you are funny.

Morrigan: I know.

She chewed on her hot dog and looked over at Iron Man, who turned his attention to something else to make it seem like he wasn't staring.

Trish: Tony is sweating really hard...that is too funny.

Chun-Li: Look at Chris..

Chun Li stared at Chris, who was in an alternate universe. She laughed pretty hard at his extremely comical expression.

Wolverine was chatting with Hulk.

Wolverine: I swear, if those three mess with me tonight, all hell will break loose.

Hulk: Calm down Logan, Hulk will stop them.

Wolverine: Thanks Hulk, but those three are clowns. I know they are gonna fuck with me.

Hulk: You're too paranoid Logan. CALM DOWN.

Deadpool: Yeah, I don't think they would pull any pranks on you tonight. Maybe tomorrow.

Wolverine: Grahh...maybe.

Wolverine snorted and threw away his trash. He sat back down and chewed on a toothpick.

Super Skrull fell alseep at his table. Skrull had a tendency that whenever he finished a good meal, he magically fell asleep afterwards because his body was delighted.

Doctor Doom just sat and ate his meal quietly.

Just then, a scream was heard in the kitchen. Everyone turned to look toward that direction. Sagat immediately groaned and turned to walk into the kitchen.

Sagat: Oh boy..Adon what happ-

Sagat's eye immediately grew to be the size of a dinnerplate. Adon was on the floor, unconcious. Sagat ran over and slapped Adon a few times.

Sagat: Adon..what happened?

As Sagat muttered his question, three cooks surrounded the two. An old man named Gen, a middle aged man named Barry, and a Latino luchador named El Fuerte.

Barry: From what I saw, he was almost an Adon Sandwich!

Gen: Indeed. There was a shadowy figure in here..I couldn't see it. After about three seconds, Adon was on the floor!

El Fuerte: I ALMOST SOILED MY PANTALONES, AMIGO.

Sagat: Hmm..that's strange..

The lights suddenly turned off. The only thing that could be seen were the flashing lights outside. The place was pitch black. After a few seconds, an old man screaming could be heard.

Doctor Doom: What is the meaning of this?

Deadpool: Oh my god, it's like a horror movie! Everyone knows the comic relief bites the dust first!

Hulk: Deadpool, no one will be biting the dust tod-

"HOLY JALAPENO! MY TORTILLAS ARE BEING SMASHED!" El Fuerte screamed in the back.

Deadpool: -you were saying Hulk?

Dante: Huh..this is crazy.

Morrigan: Yet..exciting at the same time.

As these words were muttered, Ryu rushed into the kitchen. Numerous screams could be heard.  
"HADOUKEN, SHORYUKEN, TATSUMAKI SENPUKYAKU!"

Pots, pans, and many other kitchen utensils boomed in the background. The shadowy figure was dazed, and he lay on the floor, next to Adon. The lights came on immediately and revealed who the shadowy figure was. It was a Capcom Employee Ninja.

Ryu was horrified at the sight. A note was stapled to the back of his head. Ryu grabbed it and read it.  
"If any of you are reading this, you have 20 minutes to get back to the house."

The letter fell out of Ryu's hand. He ran out of the kitchen with foam coming from his mouth.

Ryu: GUYS WE ONLY HAVE 20 MINUTES TO GET HOME!

Dante immediately spit out his soda.

Dante: WHAT?

Iron Man: WHO SAID!

Ryu: The Capcom Employee Ninja had a note! It was Ono's handwriting!

Trish: Who? Capcom Employee Ninja? Did he turn off the lights?

Ryu: Yes! It was a sign! A...a...a warning! OF what's going to happen to US if we don't get home!

Ryu's words had never been so jumbled.

Chris: Well what are we waiting for? Let's go!

Immediately afterwards, lightning struck outside.

Hulk: Wait guys...HULK IS SAD.

Deadpool: Why!

Hulk: Our house is going to be flooded!

Iron Man slapped his forehead.

Iron Man: THAT DAMN HOLE IN THE CEILING!

Dante: We're fucked!

Chun: Oh my god...

Wolverine: It doesn't matter. Let's go!

The roommates dashed for the exit and they all piled in their respective vehicles, except for a few.  
Iron Man didn't get in the Ferrari. He tossed the keys to Captain America.

Iron Man: Drive the Ferrari!

Captain: What are you going to do, Tony?

Iron Man: I'm flying home!

Lightning struck in the background as the rain made the struggle even more dramatic.

Captain: That's suicide Tony!

Iron Man: ...I DON'T CARE.

Iron Man made a great leap and soared high into the ominous sky. Morrigan followed him, while Doctor Doom struggled to keep up. Super Skrull soared through the sky as well.  
Captain America watched as the four pierced through the sky, on their way home.

Captain America jumped in the Ferrari and drove home along with Amaterasu.

Dante was already about halfway there. He was speeding through the traffic and sped past red lights. He was going over 80 mph and he didn't care. Ryu's eyes grew larger.

Ryu: WE ONLY HAVE SEVEN MINUTES!

Trish: Oh god Dante go faster!

Dante: Stop it Trish! Now is NOT the time to arouse me!

Trish: UGH, YOU HAVE SUCH A DIRTY MIND!

Dante: Care to bathe it for me?

Chun: SHUT UP AND DRIVE!

Chris started to sweat. He silently said "Oh shit" to himself over and over again.

Wolverine wasn't far behind Dante. He stayed hot on Dante's trail for a long time...until...an 18 Wheeler pulled out in front of him.  
The 18 wheeler also had two brothers which proceeded to trap Wolverine within a triangle.

Wolverine gritted his teeth and began to explode with large amounts of profanity.  
Hulk covered Felicia's ears. Deadpool just covered his face with his hands.

Dante blasted down the highway.

Chris: FOUR MINUTES!

Chun: We're not gonna make it..

Trish: Nope.

Fire burned in Ryu's eyes. Determination settled in his heart. His theme began to play as he rolled down his window. The rain poured into the car, all over Chun Li.  
Ryu stuck his head out the window as his headband billowed in the wind. Rain pelted his face and hair. He stuck his arms out the window and did his Hadouken motion but with 10x more concentration and intensity.

Ryu: SHINKU, !

A large stream of plasma shot from Ryu's hands backward, which propelled the Hummer to extreme speeds of over 160 mph.

Dante: WOOOHOOOOO! OH YEAH, NOW THIS IS SPEED!

Everything outside was a blur. Dante could barely control the Hummer. Every car either moved out of the way, or got absolutely bowled over. Dante felt like Moses parting the Red Sea.

**MEANWHILE**

Iron Man was soaring high above, along with Super Skrull, Doctor Doom and Morrigan.

Iron Man looked down as he soared and saw a pissed off Hummer flying down the highway.

Iron Man slapped his helmet. He knew it had to be Dante.

Doctor Doom: Tony, Morrigan, Skrull...we have GOT to hurry.

Skrull: Indeed. We don't have much time.

As the team of four soared overhead, lightning was making its presence known.

**KEEEEERRRRRRKRACKLE**.

A quick, powerful jolt of electricy zapped Doctor Doom right in his back. A speechless Doctor Doom quickly plummeted out of the sky, spiraling like a plane in mayday, smoke trailing from his body.

Iron Man: What the hell just happened!

Iron Man looked down and saw Doctor Doom plummeting down towards the busy highway below.

Skrull: DOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM!

Morrigan: Skrull, go catch him!

Skrull: We don't have time!

Iron Man: DAMMIT Skrull! Doom is your friend! GO GET HIM. For all we know he could be dead!

Skrull: He can't be...

Iron Man: He could be.

Skrull's eyes showed no emotion. He stopped in mid-flight and looked downward. As he did so, flames erupted from his body. He quickly blasted downward, intent on catching up to a falling Doom.

Morrigan: Let's go, Tony.

Iron Man nodded.

**IN THE HUMMER**

Dante: ALMOST THERE BABY.

Chris: Dammit Dammit Dammit Damn Damn Dammit...

Chun: CHRIS, SHUT UP!

Chris turned around and pointed at Chun-Li ferociously.

Chris: DON'T TELL ME TO SHUT UP, WOMAN!

Trish: Chris, calm down. We're gonna be fine.

Ryu's eyes went wide as he saw something in the road no one else did.

**"**_NIIIINNNNNJJJAAAAAAAAA_**!"**

Dante: OH GIMME A BREAK!

A ninja, clad in black was standing in the middle of the highway, anticipating the Hummer, katana in hand.

Trish: Dante...!

Chris: RUN HIM OVER!

Dante made no effort in swerving the vehicle. He was intent on running the lone ninja over. The ninja began to run towards the Hummer, his katana in hand. He raised it high and was about to leap before...

**KABOOM**!

A fiery figure completely blew up the ninja in mid-jump. The figure raced beside the Hummer.

Dante looked over at the figure and instantly grinned.

Dante: SKRULL!

Skrull carried Doctor Doom over his shoulder and gave Dante a thumbs-up. He used his elastic arms to thrust the Hummer to an even faster speed.

The House could be seen and it was getting closer and closer. Dante could taste it. Dante slammed on brakes as he completely annihilated the lawn, inches from crashing into the garage. Chris's airbag shot out and slammed Chris in the face, knocking him out immediately.

Everyone in the Hummer unbuckled and quickly ran into the flooded house.

Super Skrull landed outside and carried Doctor Doom in. He looked at the sky and saw Morrigan and Iron Man not too far behind. He raced in the house with his friend.

Wolverine swerved in the yard 30 seconds later. He rushed out and sprinted towards the house along with Hulk, Deadpool, and Felicia.

Captain America soon arrived. He and Amaterasu made their way in as well, picking up an unconcious Chris along the way.

As soon as Captain America slammed the door shut, Deadpool counted down the time.

Deadpool: 5...4...3...2...1...

Ryu: We made it.

Trish brushed her hair.

Trish: I don't know how.

Iron Man: Me either.

Super Skrull trudged through the flooded house and sat Doctor Doom on the couch.

Dante looked at Skrull.

Dante: You're a lifesaver Skrull.

Skrull: Don't mention it.

Hulk: Now we must find a way to drain our home.

Deadpool: Yeah. I think Felicia is going to have a panic attack.

Felicia just sat on a floating stool crying, slowly drifting off down the hallway.

Wolverine tiptoed through the liquid, grunting every second of the way.

Captain America: So now what?

Hulk: WE FIND A WAY TO DRAIN HOME. HULK JUST SAID THIS.

Deadpool: Yeah yeah yeah. But how do we do that?

Ryu: Hmmm...

Dante: Ryu? Any ideas?

Ryu: Evaporation.

Dante: Hmm...but how?

Ryu: Skrull can use fire. Fire on water makes steam. Chun-Li and I blow steam away with our respective tornado kicks.

Hulk: Is that going to work?

Deadpool: We gotta try. Haha! Alright Super Skrull, let's rock!

Deadpool pointed at Skrull triumphantly. Skrull just glared at Deadpool.

Skrull stood up and immediately his body burst into flames. As Ryu predicted, the water started disappearing. Slowly, but surely. Ryu did his Tasumaki Senpukyaku and Chun Li did her Spinning Bird Kick to fan the steam.

Deadpool was amazed. His eyes were glowing with wonder. The Hulk was not impressed however.

Hulk: This is fictional universe. I highly doubt such nonsense could be performed in reality.

Deadpool sighed and slapped the back of his head.

Deadpool: You're such a killjoy, Hulk.

Hulk: Hulk speaks truth.

**LATER ON**

Dante marveled at the fantastic job Ryu and the gang did. He slapped Ryu on the back and gave him a thumbs up.

Ryu was exhausted. He limped over to the dry recliner and sat his ass down quickly.

Ryu: Oh my Hadouken...I am tired.

Chris: You did a good job. I think Ono will be pleased. No more ninjas for us.

Captain America opened the blinds to look out into the moonlight.

Captain America: I'm getting sleepy. I think I'm gonna call it a night.

Amaterasu: WOOF. (Same here)

Deadpool shrugged. He then looked over at the TV and his mouth hit the floor. He pointed at the scene with one crooked, shaking finger and muttered, "W-W-Whaaaaaaaat!"

The TV was still intact. Along with the 360 and PS3. Apparently, they were water-proof. Who knew?

Iron Man laughed out loud.

Iron Man: Holy shit...I don't believe it! Ono is a genious.

Chun: Yeah. He is actually.

Dante strolled about casually. "Hmm..." he thought to himself. Dante was bored. He needed something to do. And fast.

Dante: Chris, wanna go to the bar?

Chris: I would man, but I think I'm gonna pass. I need some rest.

Dante: Ahhh man, come on Chris! What about you Ryu?

Ryu was propped up on the recliner, soundly asleep. Dante rolled his eyes.

Dante: Wolverine?

Wolverine shrugged.

Wolverine: I guess. I'm not sleepy or nothin' so I'll go.

Deadpool piped up.

Deadpool: Oooo me too! Me too!

Hulk began to walk toward his room, Amaterasu, and Skrull carrying Dr. Doom following.

Dante looked over at the ladies and immediately smiled.

Dante: I know you wanna go, Morrigan.

Morrigan smirked.

Morrigan: You know me too well, Dante.

Dante: Not really.

Chun-Li sighed and walked into the kitchen.

Chun: I'll pass.

Trish walked with her.

Trish: Same. It's late. Maybe some other time.

Dante laughed and spread apart his arms as if offended.

Dante: Trish! What happened to your edge!

Trish: The same thing that happened to your penis when I slammed it with the door.

Everyone in the room howled with laughter. Hulk burst through the wall for no apparent reason to laugh at Dante. Hulk was ROARING with laughter, shaking the whole house.

Dante's face began to burn red. He let out an insane outburst and pointed one finger at the Hulk.

Dante: Why the fuck are you laughing! You don't even have one, you steroid-taking piece of walking spinach!

Hulk ran up to Dante and stood over him.

Hulk: Hulk thinks you better be silent, or Hulk fist becomes one with your diaphram.

Dante did not back down and nobody was planning on stopping the imminent brawl. Dante's sword made a noise, and he gave off a smug smirk.

Hulk clenched his fists and gritted his teeth.

**SECONDS LATER**

Super Skrull emerged from his room wearing rubber gloves, goggles, and holding a medical kit. He immediately dropped the kit and fell to his knees. His arms shook and he grinned insanely.

Super Skrull: HE'S ALLLLIIIIIIVVVVEEEEEEEEEE!

The gang stared at him. They were all thinking, "What the hell is wrong with this guy?"

Iron Man: Say what, Skrull?

Super Skrull: Doom! He's back! I fixed him!

Hulk's eyes went wide. He immediately thought to himself. "Skrull...FIXING something? Oh no..."

Hulk ran through the same wall he came from and shot to the room Doom was in. What he saw was unlike anything he had ever seen. Dante snorted.

Dante: Heh, better run.

Trish: He was so totally gonna kick your ass.

Wolverine: Yeah bub, Bruce isn't one to fuck around with. I know from personal experience.

Dante: Says you! You tried to fight him earlier!

Wolverine: No, that's my animal side. Bruce knows I get a little crazy sometimes. And that was one of those times.

Deadpool: I wish I was an animal. I'd be a platypus! Like Perry! From Fineas and Ferb!

Iron Man: That's nice.

Morrigan: Soooo...are we leaving now?

Dante: Yeah. I guess so.

Chris closed the fridge and walked down the hall toward his room.

Dante grabbed the keys to the Hummer.

Dante: Looks like I'm driving my baby again!

Deadpool: Yeah, looks like it. But wait...I have a question.

Dante: Shoot.

Deadpool: Where's Felicia?

Wolverine immediately frowned, then his mouth gaped open.

Wolverine: Oh no...

Wolverine bounded down the right hallway and slashed through the last door on the left.

There lay Felicia...cold and wet. Shaking on the floor. Her eyes were closed, her body was limp, and she smelled terrible. Wolverine scooped her up in his arms.

Amaterasu stared and howled silently. She and Wolverine quietly walked back to the living room and placed her by the fireplace.

Morrigan had a worried look on her face and Iron Man just shook his head. Dante broke the silence immediately.

Dante: CAN WE GO NOW!

Wolverine gnashed his teeth and glared at Dante. His shot his middle claw at Dante.

Dante was offended. Again.

Dante: Whatever. Jesus christ, everyone is sooo emotional. Let's go guys.

Dante whirled around and opened the door, only to be met by CAPCOM employee ninjas who held dual katanas.

Dante raised one eyebrow.

Dante: 'The hell do you guys want?

The ninjas eyed Dante. They pointed at the clock. Dante looked aswell and looked back at them.

Dante: So?

One ninja maliciously pointed at Dante. His eyes were boiling red and veins popped out of his forehead. He finally spoke. In a most...foreign..accent at that, with very delayed pauses.

?: My...name..IS AGEV.

Dante: I could care less. Get out of the way or-

As soon as Dante said this, red liquid leaked from above the door. It spread on the welcome mat and the ninja soaked his katana in the bloody pool.

Agev: This blood...is beautiful...IS IT NOT!

Dante's eyes went from wide to wider. He gasped in shock as a body abruptly fell from the roof onto the welcome mat, lying there coldly in the pool of blood. The body was limp, salty...old. Dante had seen this before. In one of the most terrifying movies he had ever seen. Deader Rising.

The ninja laughed and poked the body. He rolled it over sadistically so Dante could see the face. The body was none other than Gen's, from the resteraunt.

Dante's eyes went from surprised to stern. His anger rising. He spoke in a serious manner, very unlike Dante.

Dante: What do you want Agev?

Morrigan stood behind Dante and eyed the ninjas. Iron Man stood by as well, intent on blasting the ninjas to oblivion if called for.

Agev: You do not go out. Ono's orders. Failure to comply...will result in death. Do you understand?

Dante: Ono wouldn't kill us! We're apart of the game!

Agev: Ono has many other candidates willing to take your place. You won't be missed if your demise is met.

Dante: That's insane.

Agev: Insane is Ono.

Iron Man: How about you guys leave before things get ugly? You murdered Gen to teach us a lesson? You ninjas are below demihumans.

Agev: Say what you will Tony. Remember, War Machine is next if you keep insulting us.

Iron Man immediately pushed through Dante and stood over Agev. The anger inside Tony Stark was about to be unleashed. He clenched his iron fist and was seconds away from knocking Agev's head off until Dante stopped him.

Dante: Tony...no.

Morrigan: Dante's right. This won't solve anything.

Iron Man hated it, but he knew they were right. His arm dropped by his side and he sighed.

The ninjas chuckled.

Agev: Wise decision, Tony. Very wise. But, we must be off. Ono is calling.

Iron Man wasn't finished. He snuck in one cold remark to have the last laugh.

Iron Man: How does it feel being Ono's little butt bitch? You give it up oh so easily to him.

Agev didn't turn around. Instead he just laughed and shrugged it off. He waved his katana.

Agev: Clean...that little mess up.

Obviously he was referring to Gen and after that last word, the ninjas stormed off, jumpimg from streetlight to streetlight.

Dante watched as they left, pondering Ono's exact motives. Iron Man walked past him, and sat on the couch.

Chun-Li sat on a stool in the kitchen with her legs crossed. She looked at Iron Man with a sympathetic look on her face.

Chun: Tony...

Iron Man immediately responded.

Iron Man: I'm fine.

Soon after, Ryu finally awoke from his sleep and stretched as he sat up. He scratched his head and rubbed his eyes.

Ryu: Ohhhhh my shinku...I feel good!

Deadpool: You only slept for 25 minutes...

Ryu: That's all I need! Ahh! I feel like sparring!

Trish: It's a little past midnight..Ryu.

Ryu's mouth dropped. He looked at the clock.

Ryu: It's 1:27 P.M. how is it a little past midnight?

Trish: Look outside Ryu. It's 1:27 A.M. not P.M.

Ryu looked outside and frowned.

Ryu: What's your point?

Everyone in the room facepalmed. Deadpool giggled and walked down the hallway to his room. Trish did the same.

Ryu walked into the kitchen to drink some orange juice. As he did so, he looked at Chun-Li, who was eying him intently.

Ryu: What is it?

Chun: Nothing.

Ryu shrugged and got a glass from the cabinet. Chun-Li just sat there and watched him. She hadn't felt like this before. She eyed Ryu's ass as we moved around. He juggled glasses with his fingers and did a variety of kicks and punches, avoiding the plates and kitchenware.

Chun-Li's hormones were running wild. She wanted Ryu. And she wanted him bad. Too bad he was so clueless. She would even take Dante. Or even Iron Man. Or maybe even Morrigan at this point.

Dante finally came in from moving Gen and closed the door.

Morrigan: What did you do with him?

Dante: I did what anyone else would do!

Morrigan raised an eyebrow.

Dante: I put him on someone else's doorstep!

As Dante said this, a scream could be heard from next door.

Dante slyly smiled and looked over at Iron Man.

Dante: We'll get them back. Don't worry about it.

Iron Man: Yeah. But that ninja...I know him from somewhere...

Chun-Li piped up.

Chun: Me too. It was that blonde ponytail...I recognize it from somewhere...

Iron Man: Yeah...and that accent..

Morrigan: Perhaps an old acquaintance?

Chun: Yeah. We'll figure it out soon.

Dante: Yep. Some crazy shit went down tonight. I think we all need some rest.

Morrigan: Couldn't agree more.

Ryu guzzled down his juice and slammed his glass on the table.

Ryu: I'm fine! I'm going to watch whatever is on that rectangular box over there!

Dante: It's called a TV...

Ryu: What's your point?

They facepalmed again. Deadpool even came out of his room to laugh at Ryu's stupidity.

The roommates went into their respective rooms to get a good night's rest. They all needed it. But Chun-Li didn't go. Instead, she sat on the couch near Ryu and watched TV with him.

Ryu was laughing hysterically at a certain TV show called God's Hand, where martial arts were taken to ridiculously over-the-top levels. Chun-Li just looked at Ryu and wanted to smack him sometimes. But..his laugh was soothing to her at the moment. She liked it. The two sat there watching the show for almost the whole night.

TBC


	3. V for Viewtiful

I apologize if this one seems kind of rushed. Since there are going to be a lot more characters, it's going to be really hard giving everyone dialogue if they are all bunched up together. So, we'll see what happens. In this one, we get two newcomers. Thing is, I don't know if I want to introduce everyone else over the next few chapters, or kinda pan it out and introduce others over time. I'm going with the latter for now. Hopefully I don't get too far behind and Capcom reveals like four new characters right as I'm starting chapter 5 or something. Haha. Oh well, we'll see.

I'm going to also be using character themes in the future, to give ya something to listen to. (:

Another thing...I just noticed, but my chapters are long. REALLY long. They are going to be shorter, definitely. Especially now that I'm not going to have all the characters together as often. Sorry about that. XD

LIVING IN TWO WORLDS

3. V for Viewtiful

9:00 A.M.

It was a sunny day in Metro City. Humans were up and about, going about their usual repetitive schedules. Wake up. Be angry. Go to work. Leave angry. Sleep. Repeat.

For these roommates however, waking up...was the most difficult task.

Sunlight shined through Iron Man's window, who was sound asleep. That wouldn't last long however, unfortunately for Tony Stark.

BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM.

The constant beating of a door is probably the most irritating noise a sleepy-head will hear in the morning. Either that, or a vacuum cleaner. For Tony, it was the former.  
The beating increased to an even faster tempo. And yelling could be heard from outside.  
Iron Man's eyes creaked open. They were red and his pupils were barely visible. He grabbed his pillow and slammed it on his head.

Iron Man: GO AWAY!

The beating increased. And increased. And increased. The yelling started to sync with the beating and Iron Man made out the tune that the person was trying to imitate.  
It was Enter Sandman. One of Tony's favorite songs of all time. He quickly sat up and cheered in amusement. He stretched and walked toward the door, intent on finding out who this genius was.

As Iron Man opened the door, his eyes went wide in terror. No one was beating on the door on purpose...in fact..it was the other way around.  
It was Ryu sleepwalking. He had been repeatedly running into the door. Figures.

Tony Stark scratched his head and caught Ryu as he fell to the floor. He lifted him over his shoulder and took him into the living room.  
Deadpool opened his door immediately afterward.

Deadpool: HEY! That was my jam!

Iron Man looked down the hallway and shrugged.

Iron Man: Sorry Deadpool.

Deadpool's eyes began to fill with tears. He slowly limped down the hallway as if his soul was wounded. He stared at Tony and held out his arms.  
Tony reluctantly embraced Deadpool and calmed him with a soft "There, there." He patted Deadpool on the back and Deadpool belched afterward.

Super Skrull had just walked into the kitchen. He looked over at the two and quietly muttered, "gay" to himself. He laughed afterward and opened the fridge which had been magically restocked by Ono overnight. He grabbed a Red Bull and pulled up a stool.  
Tony looked over at Skrull as Deadpool joyfully skipped towards the couch.

Iron Man: So, Skrull, how's Doom?

Skrull: He's fine. A little...twisted...but fine.

Iron Man tilted his head to the side like a lost dog.

Iron Man: Twisted?

Skrull sipped his Red Bull and groaned. He scratched his head and cleared his throat.

Skrull: Uhh..yeah.

Afterward, screams could be heard from Skrull's room. Skrull immediately hopped from his position and bolted down the hallway.

Iron Man didn't even bother to ponder the situation. He muttered to himself. "Gay."

Dante emerged from his room moments later, yawning and scratching. He lazily entered the living room and stared at Deadpool, who was watching a TV show called Onimuuusha!  
Dante shifted his eyes to Iron Man, who sat in the recliner half-asleep.

Soon after, Chris Redfield, Chun-Li, Trish, and Morrigan emerged from their respective rooms. Captain America and Amaterasu joined them.  
They all sat in the living room, still not fully awake. They occasionally opened their eyes to Deadpool's constant "Oooooo's!" and "Ahhhh's!"

A piece of board randomly fell from the hole in the ceiling and nailed Ryu in the face. He immediately sat up screaming and shot a Hadouken, which proceeded to hit Captain America in the chest. He was knocked off of his feet and landed on Amaterasu, who proceeded to bite the fuck out of him.  
Captain America layed there, twitching. Dante laughed at him.

Dante: I'm bored.

Chris: Me too.

Dante: What do you guys wanna do?

Morrigan: Let's go for some breakfast.

Iron Man: Where?

Chun: Umm...Ihop, maybe?

Dante: Sounds good.

Ryu was puzzled. Ihop set off an alarm in his mind. The mere name made him cringe in disgust.

Ryu: Ihop? No, I jump!

Deadpool laughed at Ryu's stupidity once again. He pointed at Ryu.

Deadpool: This guy is hilarious!

Amaterasu howled with laughter.

Ryu: What?

Chun: Ryu, that's the name of the place we're going to eat at.

Ryu: That's the most ridiculous name for a business I have ever heard!

Dante: If you owned it, you wouldn't complain.

Ryu: This is blasphemy! No one should own a business so...so...preposterous!

Trish: Calm down Ryu.

Ryu: I will not! By the power of Gouken, I will not calm down! Who invented such horse feces? I demand to know!

Dante began to grow impatient with Ryu's constant outbursts.

Dante: Ryu, if your so angry about it, why don't your start your own business? You could name it whatever you want!

Ryu was still going on about Ihop until Dante's idea lit up a bulb in Ryu's barren mind.

Ryu: Perfect!

Chun looked at Dante and glared daggers into him.

Chun: Now you've done it.

Dante shrugged.

Ryu: I'm going to start my own resteraunt! No more Ihop! No more..Red Lobster! No more McDonalds! No more Burger King! No more Dairy Queen! No more Vegetable Prince! Oh wait...I made that one up...

Iron Man facepalmed.

Ryu: My resteraunt will be called...Dragon Punch!

Chris cut his eye at Ryu's determined face and laughed his ass off.

Chris: What will you serve there Ryu? Hadouken Burgers?

Dante: Tatsumaki Chicken?

Chris: Shinku Pie?

Dante: With extra-large Metsu Fries?

Deadpool: With sweet and sour SHORYUKEN SAUCE!

Ryu grinned, not knowing he was being made fun of. He gave the three a thumbs up.

Iron Man: You've got to start somewhere first...Ryu..

Morrigan: Right. You need money. A venue. A team. Sponsors...

Ryu just looked at Morrigan. Morrigan stared at Ryu's blank face and groaned.

Morrigan: Nevermind. Good luck, Ryu.

The housemates all stood up and walked toward the door. Chun-Li patted Ryu on the head as she walked by.  
Ryu just sat there. He was determined to start a successfull business.

**IN THE HUMMER**

Dante, Chris, Chun-Li, Trish, Morrigan, Deadpool, and Amaterasu were on their way to Ihop. The roads were calmer than usual, surprisingly, but the heat was killer outside.  
Deadpool and Amaterasu sat in the very back. Deadpool was reading a japanese manga called 'Phoenix Wrong: Objections Abound'. Amaterasu just read along, and the two laughed at the ridiculous cases.

Deadpool: Hey guys, Phoenix just threw a boot at Dan Hibiki for having such a horrible dojo. Dan got sued because one of his students hurt himself by lifting a basket! HAHAHAHAHA.

Dante chuckled at Deadpool's enthusiasm. Deadpool was laughing hysterically in the back, getting slightly on Chun's nerves.

Trish: Wow..haha

Chris: Yeah, I'm surprised Phoenix hasn't gone insane yet. Every single one of his cases are crazy odd.

Dante: Yeah. I've only read one issue and man, that was some fucked up shit.

Deadpool's eyes filled with wonder.

Deadpool: What happened?

Dante: Well, Phoenix had an extremely close case. You see, there was this guy named Viewtiful Joe or something like that and he got sued too.

Chris: I've heard of him..

Dante: Yeah, apparently some asshole named Proto Man sued him because they looked alike.

Morrigan: That's stupid.

Dante: Indeed. Joe ended up having to pay a fine, but nothing drastic occured. The guy rebounded pretty quick afterwards though.

Trish: Poor guy..

Deadpool: I haven't read that one...hmm..interesting.

Amaterasu nodded in agreement.

Dante made a right at the intersection, and drove slowly towards the lone resteraunt. They were here. Ihop.

**AT THE HOUSE**

Ryu sat on the floor thinking. His brain was about to explode from all of this brainstorming. He needed help. Ryu clenched his fists and stood up. He looked at the hole in the ceiling and closed his eyes.

Super Skrull walked in a couple of minutes later, and sat on the couch. He stared at Ryu for two seconds and shrugged. Doctor Doom appeared 15 seconds later, looking like his normal self, except he was missing an arm.

Doom: SKRULL! WHERE IS MY ARM!

Skrull: It's up your ass Doom! FIND IT!

Doom: I'm going to vaporize-

Doom immediately stopped his threat when he noticed Skrull had his arm in his hands, intent on crushing it.

Skrull: -you were saying, Doctor?

Doom: I'll lick your shoes clean. Please...my arm.

Skrull: You must also vaccuum for me. Deal?

Doom: ...Deal.

Skrull tossed Doom his arm. Doom caught it, and immediately snapped it on. His eyes burned with hatred. Skrull may have saved his life, but Skrull was a sneaky bastard.  
Doom immediately zapped Skrull in the back when he wasn't looking and Skrull fell to the floor.

Skrull: WHAT THE HELL DOOM!

Doom: THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR TEARING UP MY YU-GI-OH DECK!

Skrull rolled on the floor in pain. Doom laughed maniacally at Skrull's agony.

Ryu's eyebrows furrowed. He was trying to concentrate and thse two clowns were interrupting him. Not long after, Captain Amercia entered the living room. After getting the shit beat out of him earlier, he wanted to sit down and watch TV. He saw Skrull rolling around, Doom laughing, and Ryu focusing.

"What is wrong with this picture?" he thought to himself.

Felicia, Wolverine, and The Hulk entered seconds later and they all thought the same thing. The Hulk stretched, and his yawn shook the whole house. He walked through the living room and out the door. Captain America followed.

Wolverine: Where is everybody?

Ryu: They went to...Ihop...

Wolverine snorted. He walked outside behind Captain Amercia and Felicia followed him. Ryu looked around finally, and did the same.

Skrull got up and pointed at Doom.

Skrull: DOOM! THAT WAS UNCALLED FOR! I'LL ELIMINATE YOU.

Doom: You couldn't eliminate a math equation!

Skrull: YOU KNOW THAT'S MY WEAKEST SUBJECT! HOW DARE YOU!

Doom laughed maniacally once again, weezing and gasping for air.  
Skrull stretched his arm out and slapped the hell out of Doom. Doom was shocked. After that, Skrull began to laugh.  
Doom frowned. He walked over to Skrull and slapped him back. He slapped Skrull so hard his neck stretched backwards. Skrull stared at Doom. They both clenched their fists. Doom reared back his foot while Skrull drew back his fist. They both released at the same time and the result was hilarious.

Doom kicked Skrull square in the nuts while Skrull gave Doom an uppercut to his family jewels. Both of their eyes began to water and the two crumbled, groaning. They both lay there. Motionless.

**IN THE GARAGE**

The Hulk gathered his toolbox and began to climb the ladder to the top of the house. He had to fix the roof and he dreaded the thought. He hated Iron Man for this. So. So. Much.  
Wolverine just watched.

Wolverine: Be careful big guy!

Hulk waved at Wolverine. As soon as he made his first step, he immediately lost his balance and slipped. He rolled off the house and landed hard on the lawn. Really hard. He quickly recovered and glanced at his foot. It was magic ice. There was only one man responsible for such a prank.

Wolverine and Hulk stared at each other.

"Dante."

The Hulk sighed, and made his way to the roof. Again.  
Wolverine pulled out a chair and sunbathed with Felicia. Captain America began to grab paint from the garage to begin his chore.  
Ryu just sat there. He immediately smiled.

Ryu: HEY!

Everyone looked at Ryu, puzzled.

Ryu: I need help guys. I need money.

Wolverine: You ain't gettin' none from me, bub.

Ryu: No, not like that! I'm going to start my own business! Morrigan said that I needed to begin somewhere, and so I thought! I'm going to make a lemonade stand!

The Hulk stared at Ryu. Once he saw the look on Ryu's face, he couldn't help but smile.

Ryu: It's hot out here! People are gonna want some good ole' Shotokan Lemonade!

Wolverine: What do you want us to do?

Ryu: Wolverine, you can slash the lemons for easy juice! Felicia can be the eye candy for male and female customers! The Hulk can build the stand! I will help with the juice and distribution, and Captain America can hold the money!

Wolverine looked around and then back at Ryu. He scratched his chin slowly.

Wolverine: Hmm...not bad. I guess this could work out.

Felicia: Yeah! I like this idea!

Hulk: How are we going to split the cash?

Ryu: There's five of us. So, we each get 20%?

Wolverine liked this idea more and more. A sly grin formed on his face and he cut his eye at the Hulk. The Hulk did the same. The two nodded in conjunction and were apparently having the exact same thoughts.

Wolverine: Sounds good.

Hulk: I agree.

Ryu: I'll keep whatever bonuses we may end up with.

Hulk: Hmm, a sound idea Ryu. I'm impressed.

Wolverine: Yeah, what Bruce said!

Wolverine was almost too excited...but he wasn't as bad as the Hulk. Hulk began to drool as he daydreamed.

Ryu: I thought about it long and hard. Haha! Let's get to work!

**At Ihop**

"15 BUCKS FOR PANCAKE AND EGGS!"

Deadpool's roar could be heard from Jupiter. The prices were astouding at this place.

Iron Man had flew in a couple of minutes late, and even he was surprised by the prices.

Morrigan silently flipped through her menu. She finally laid eyes on what she wanted, and set her menu down. Chun-Li did the same.  
Dante was steadily flipping through his. Not sure about what he wanted.  
Amaterasu settled shortly after and so did Iron Man and Trish. Dante and Chris were bamboozled. They had no idea what they wanted.

About 10 seconds later, the waiter came through. It was none other than El Fuerte, who had quit his job at Sonic's after the murder of Gen. He sat there, with pen and pad in hand.

El Fuerte: SWEET QUESADILLAS! It's you guys!

Iron Man: Yeah it's us.

Tony eyed El Fuerte as if surprised.

Iron Man: Wait..what happened to you at Sonic's?

Fuerte just shook his head as he looked downward.

El Fuerte: I quit holmes. Gen getting murdered...that was fucked up guacamole amigo. El Fuerte didn't want to be apart of that shit.

Iron Man chuckled.

Iron Man: I understand, amigo. What about Sagat? And that other guy?

El Fuerte: Barry got framed for stealing at a local bank. He's currently under house arrest. Sagat...well..Sagat is travelling.

Iron Man: Gotcha.

El Fuerte: Adon works at the zoo now. He...plays with the jaguars...

El Fuerte began to sob at the thought.

Deadpool: Would Barry by any chance be on an issue of Phoenix Wrong?

El Fuerte: Yep. The newest issue. #87

Deadpool and Amaterasu squealed in delight.

El Fuerte: Now then...may I take your ord-

Just as El Fuerte said this, a huge rumble could be heard from afar. A giant hole in the ceiling could be seen, and debris was flying everywhere. The customers in the resteraunt all got out of their seats and ran towards the exit, screaming at the top of their lungs.

El Fuerte's eyes went giant. It was happening again. A huge wet mark could be seen on his pants and he quickly fainted. A shadowy figure was seen in the rubble, it quickly stood and a large hammer-like object could be seen in his hands. The shadow screamed at the top of his lungs.

?: FOR ASGARD!

The shadow used electricity gathered in his hammer to demolish the right half of the resteraunt, obviously attacking something.

Dante stood up immediately and drew his sword. Chris pulled out his magnun and Iron Man stood as well. Amaterasu growled.

The shadow laughed. Then, after that, another shadow appeared behind it.

"STOP RIGHT THERE, EVIL-DOER!" the shadow screamed.

The other shadow paid no heed to the small shadow's demand. Instead he walked away, toward the housemates. The light shined on the figure's face and he could be made out easily.

It was Thor of Marvel fame. One of Hulk's old buddies.

Thor looked at the crowd at smiled. His helmet casted a mean glare that almost blinded Chris.

Thor: So, I'm guessing you guys are in Marvel vs. Capcom 3 too?

Deadpool: Yeah! We're in! What about you Thor?

Thor: I'm in as well. Ono sent some ninja lackeys after me. But I took care of those hoodlums.

Morrigan: Ninjas? Oh boy.

Thor: Yes. One had an extremely long ponytail and wore a mask. I called him a flamboyant cur and he had a temper tantrum. I laughed at him.

Deadpool looked at Iron Man. Iron Man looked back and nodded at Deadpool.

Iron Man: Agev...

Thor: That's his name, is it? Hmm. He's an odd one. But, enough with the formalities. I'll introduce myself later. I have to take care of these assassins.

Iron Man: I'm going too.

The other shadow that had been chasing Thor appeared as well. Doing various poses and crap in the dark.

Amaterasu turned her attention away from Thor and growled at the other shadow. She darted towards the shadow and tackled it to the ground. The shadow flailed violently for a time, but revealed himself afterwards.

?: Hey hey hey! Lay off the suit!

Amaterasu: (growl) Who are you?

?: Get off! Please!

Amaterasu got off of him and the man in red stood up. He did numerous poses before he finally revealed himself.

?: I am the King of Style! The Master of Slow-Mo! The Daimyo of Viewtifulness! I am Viewtiful Joe, baby!

Dante's mouth hit the floor. Chris was debating whether or not to put his own magnum bullet through his skull.  
Morrigan and Trish laughed.

Morrigan: He's...different!

Iron Man: Very.

Thor: You've got business with me, little man?

Viewtiful Joe: Nope! Not anymore! You explained your case! But...you're not the one I was following. The one I saw was way more stealthier and arrogant than you. I must've lost track of him and thought he was you.

Joe stuck out his tongue and did more poses. He looked at everybody, but stared extremely hard at Trish and Chun-Li.

Viewtiful Joe: Wow...

Thor patted Joe on the head.

Thor: Way out of your league, my friend.

Viewtiful Joe grinned.

Viewtiful Joe: Maybe..but I get to live with you guys! Haha. It's gonna be great!

Dante slapped himself a couple of times. Chris did the same. They both looked at each other and slapped each other.

Dante: You...

Chris: are...

Dante: in...?

Chris: this game!

Viewtiful Joe did a spectacular pose and nodded as he slid along the floor.

Joe: YEAH!

Deadpool: SERIOUSLY? This is awesome! Dante told a story about you in an issue of Phoenix Wrong!

Viewtiful Joe: Yeah, because Proto Man is a douche. I hate that guy. I almost got cut from the game because of that.

Trish: That was a pretty bitch move by him.

Viewtiful Joe: Yeah, but it's in the past! Just gotta move on! Haters gonna hate!

Trish: What's with the poses?

Joe: Eh, it's my mentality! I wouldn't be Viewtiful Joe without my poses!

Chun immediately spoke up.

Chun: Now I remember! You were in Tatsunoko vs. Capcom! With me! Your the guy that always made jokes about my thighs!

Joe's face was filled with nothing but pure terror. He remembered that. All of it. And she was going to kick his ass for it.

Dante grinned.

"This guy could be useful.." he thought to himself.

Just as Chun-Li made her way over to Joe, a shockwave abruptly rattled what was left of Ihop. It wasn't an earthquake, but more like..a small tremor. Morrigan peeked out the window. The only things she saw were, a giant robot and ninjas. They were back.

Morrigan: A giant robot...and ninjas. Fantastic.

Iron Man clenched his fists and looked at Thor. Dante looked at Tony Stark and they both nodded. It was time they showed the ninjas who was really boss.  
Chris followed suit. Thor, Viewtiful Joe, Deadpool, and Amaterasu were all ready to rumble as well.  
Morrigan, Chun-Li, and Trish reluctantly stood as well.

Chun-Li: Well, this can't be good.

Trish: Nope.

Morrigan: We have to keep an eye on Tony. No telling what he's going to do.

Chun-Li: Yeah.

Iron Man bolted outside and stood before the ninjas. They eyed him mailiciously. Agev was standing on the robot, chuckling to himself.

Iron Man: WHAT DO YOU WANT NOW!

Agev eyed Iron Man. He shifted his attention to Thor and Viewtiful Joe as well.

Agev: Nothing. We just wanted to mess with you guys. I didn't forget what you said to me, Metal Man.

Iron Man: Good.

Agev: Meet PTX-40, a slayer bot designed to eliminate anyone who stands in my way. Ono gave this baby to me. 'Told me to "play" with Pitiful Joe and Thor if I caught them anywhere but at the House.

Iron Man: Cute.

Thor glared at Agev. Joe shook his fist at Agev and angrily shouted at him.

Joe: "PITIFUL" Joe? I dare you to come down here and say that to my face! 'With your ugly ponytail!

Agev smiled.

Agev: You are in NO position to call something ugly. Look at you.

Joe: How about you take off that mask and show us who you really are? I know from a friend that you are somehow associated with an evil organization.

Agev: You are correct. But you do not know the name of said organization. Therefore, you shouldn't stick your head into things that don't concern you.

Chun-Li glared daggers into Agev and studied him. She was going to figure out who he was.

Agev: ENOUGH BANTER!

The PTX robot had rockets emerge from its torso, arms, and legs, focused on annhilating everyone.

Iron Man smiled. Dante stood beside him and grinned also. Chris joined, Thor joined, and soon, the whole crew joined in. Side-by-side anticipating Agev's next move.

Agev sat there, smiling under his mask. He snapped his fingers and the PTX moved forward.

Chris: Let's go, Agev. Show us what you and your action figure are made of!

The gang did not flinch, and the battle was about to begin, outside of the demolished Ihop.


	4. Lemonade N' Convicts

Sorry about the long delay guys. I've been really busy and haven't really had the time to do anything with this, so I'm terribly sorry. This one is pretty short, but they will be coming fast. I'll try and do a Thanksgiving side-chapter as well, since I missed Halloween. Also, you'll notice when a certain someone arrives, that I have a fragment of a link before his entrance. Its a Youtube link, just type in the beginning of the address (youtube) and paste the fragment at the end. They are going to be character themes.

I've also just got my hands on Sonic Colors and Donkey Kong Country Returns. Both are pretty good additions to your Wii. I'd say Sonic Colors is a good rental and so is DKCR, but DKCR is really freaking hard, so don't expect to beat it in one sitting. It's definitely for the hardcore platformers out there, but it's not a complete turn-off for the casual either. Both are great though. :) So without further adooooooo!

**LIVING IN TWO WORLDS**

_4. Lemonade N' Convicts_

**OUTSIDE THE HOUSE**

Outside of the house, Ryu, Captain America, Wolverine, Felicia, and The Hulk worked on the lemonade stand diligently. The grin on Ryu's face could be seen from outer space.  
Wolverine wiped sweat off of his forehead as he chopped wooden planks up. Hulk grabbed the boards and hammered them down with nails to make the stand. Captain Amercia helped structure it, to make it look at least slightly professional. Felicia grabbed markers and tried to come up with signs for the stand. A...slogan..of some sort. But, she was having trouble.

Felicia: Ryu, what kind of catchphrase do you want?

Ryu looked at Felicia puzzled. Hulk quickly glared at Felicia and knew immediately that they were all doomed to Ryu's ignorance.

Ryu: Catchphrase?

Felicia beamed with glee. She stretched on the warm grass and eyed Ryu.

Felicia: Yeah! Here's an example! "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade!"

Wolverine smiled but didn't say a word. Hulk also chuckled at the simplicity of Felicia's example.

Ryu stroked his chin. His brain was like a hamster wheel and it was not moving whatsoever at the moment.

Ryu: I HAVE ONE! Our lemons will "aid" you in your quest to quench your thirst!

Ryu winked at The Hulk, who just sighed and remained silent. Wolverine just looked at Captain America and they both shook their heads. Felicia smiled.

Felicia: I like it!

Ryu: Me too!

The two of them grinned hard and Felicia began to work.

JUST THEN...

A figure came storming out of the house, walking like a duck and swearing under his breath. It was Super Skrull. He was mumbling, groaning, whining, everything you can think of. He was pissed. (You would be too if you got punched in your testicles)

Dr. Doom soon came out as well, in need of some fresh air. They both stood away from each other and they were seconds from exploding into an uncontrollable rage. Wolverine looked at Skrull and back at Doom. He sighed.

Skrull: Asshole.

Doom: Dumbass.

Felicia gasped and covered her ears, disgusted at what she was hearing.

Captain America stared coldly at Dr. Doom and Skrull.

Captain America: What's wrong you two?

Doom pointed at Skrull viciously and electricity formed on his finger, intent on zapping Skrull. Skrull retaliated by stretching his arm to where his hand was in Doom's face and he proceeded to shoot him the middle finger as it burst into flames. Doom slapped Skrull's arm away and zapped Skrull.

Skrull: GAH!

Skrull punched the mess out of Dr. Doom.

Dr. Doom: AHHHHH!

Doom zapped Skrull again, and Skrull returned the favor. The two ran up to each other and it was like a match of Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots, especially for Skrull. (remember that game? look it up)

Captain America rushed in between the two to break it up, but he quickly realized that was a mistake as he was caught in the middle of the flurry of blows. He quickly fell to the ground gasping for air.

Wolverine roared with laughter at how quickly Captain America got his ass kicked. Hulk snorted and burst into laughter as well.

Skrull and Doom assaulted each other with blows until Doom delivered a strong right hook to Skrull's jaw, which knocked him backwards a bit. Skrull stood up, grabbed Doom, and flung him sideways...right toward the lemonade stand...

**NOOOOOOOOO!**

Ryu began to run in slow-motion as Doom was hurled horizontally...  
Hulk was too busy laughing to notice what was happening...  
Wolverine was the same way...  
Captain America just laid there...  
Felicia was playing with her breasts...

Ryu shouted at the top of his lungs...but that was not enough to stop Dr. Doom's heavy body from smashing his stand to rubble.  
Doom stood up.

Doom: Skrull! You imbecile!

Skrull: I've had enough of your mouth!

Doom: Not my problem!

The two argued for what seemed like an eternity. Wolverine and The Hulk just sat there..and marveled over the grand mess the two caused. They looked at Ryu and they realized that now might have been a good time to get the fuck out of there.  
Wolverine grabbed Felicia and ran towards the house.

Skrull and Doom were still arguing as an enraged Ryu walked toward them. His eyes burned with fury and his muscles bulged. The two turned around and looked at him.

Skrull: What?

Doom: Is there a problem?

Ryu remained silent. He cracked his knuckles, his back, and his neck. He grabbed the two, and the only thing that could be heard after that were screams and yelps. Somehow Captain America got involved and he got his ass beat too. Again.

**OUTSIDE OF IHOP**

Iron Man and the gang had had enough of Agev's constant taunting. They were about 10 seconds from completely brawling in the deserted street. Civilians watched from their cars, and others ran for their lives. Outside of IHOP, a pier was not too far off. A huge body of water glistened in the sunlight, and a small beach rested close by. A giant ferris wheel was the center of attention on the pier and it was a fairly popular place. One man in particular kept a close eye on the imminent brawl. He munched on some popcorn and stared. His shades glistened in the sunlight and his business-like attire made him look quite out of place.  
His slicked-back gold hair shone brightly and his smile could probably blind the sun.

The man was occupanied by a ninja in purple garb. A mummy with baggy cargo pants and a backwards cap. And a baby commandeering a green medium-sized mech. The man whispered something to the ninja and the four of them began to walk towards the battle.

Agev: Time to spill some blood. IT'S OVER TONY STARK!

As Agev's PTX40 prepared to launch its rockets, a battle cry could be heard from afar. Bright colors flashed in the distance and four figures darted from the pier. The bright yellow star on the man's armor was recognized immediately!

.com/watch?v=YFq5L273YLI&feature=related

The man's legs were a blur, almost like he was running at the speed of sound. He leapt high into the sky and reared his fist back. His mouth gaped as he howled with power.

Man: CAAAAAAAAAAAPTAIN! CORRIDOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRR!

He slammed his fist into the ground near the PTX's vicinity, and a huge column of electricity erupted up from the surface and collided into the PTX, impaling it.  
A giant hole could be seen on the PTX and it malfunctioned immediately. Agev was speechless. The PTX began to overload and was seconds from exploding. Agev quickly jumped from the PTX onto the ground as it exploded and robot parts went flying everywhere.

The man stood directly in front of Agev and stared him down. His blue shades glistened in the sunlight. Agev's mouth gaped and he fell back in shock. The man pointed at Agev and began to speak.

Man: Get out of here.

Agev began to stand but he quickly fell back down in terror. His ninja posse surrounded him to protect him, but the other three figures accompanying the heroic superhero surrounded them!

Agev: Wh-Who are you?

Man: I...I am Captain Commando. Upholder of peace and justice in Metro City.

He pointed at Agev.

Captain Commando: And YOU are not welcome here.

The Captain clenched his fists and electricity cackled. The gaze underneath his shades settled on Agev's mask. Agev was awestruck and horrified. Viewtiful Joe however, was utterly amazed at what he was seeing.

Dante whispered to Chris in the meantime, without even looking at him.

Dante: Look at this nutjob...

Chris: I know right...

Captain Commando grabbed Agev and lifted him with one arm. Agev flailed and screamed in absolute terror. His posse couldn't help, they had already gotten their asses handed to them by Captain Commando's crew. They began to retreat immediately, abandoning Agev and leaving him to perish. Captain Commando frowned and glared at Agev.

Captain Commando: Anything you want to say?

Agev was too astonished to reply. The only words coming from his mouth were "Wha" and "Urg".

Captain Commando: I guess not. Goodbye assassin.

Captain Commando's right leg reared backward. He then brought it forward with a burst of speed and punted Agev full force, launching him into the stratosphere. A twinkle could be seen in the sky as Captain Commando marveled at his victory.

Viewtiful Joe's mouth dropped completely while Deadpool attempted to pull it back up with no success. Trish's eyes went wide in amusement and so did Chun Li's. Morrigan moaned afterwards, it was obvious she was horny.

Captain Commando looked at the group. He smiled and held out his hand.

Captain Commando: Sorry about that. He's been on my radar for a while now. Had to get rid of him. Name's Captain Commando.

He pointed at the purple ninja.

Cap. Commando: This is Shou.

He pointed at the mummy.

Cap. Commando: This is Mack.

Finally he pointed at the baby.

Cap. Commando: And this is Hoover. The Commando Team at your service.

Iron Man extended his arm and shook the Captain's hand.

Iron Man: Tony Stark. Pleased to meet you.

Everyone greeted themselves to the Captain and he smiled. He stared at Viewtiful Joe, who was still totally shocked.

Captain Commando: Uhh...is he going to be alright?

Dante: I guess.

Chris: Yeah, he should be. He's never seen a...uhh..eccentric superhero like you before.

Deadpool: Besides me.

Chun: Deadpool...you're not a superhero.

Deadpool: THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK.

Trish: Weirdo.

Deadpool: DON'T JUDGE ME.

Amaterasu began to scratch her head. The Commando team was unlike anything she had ever seen before. Nice people, but completely ridiculous at the same time.

Shou tapped on Commando's shoulder and pointed towards the pier. Commando nodded and looked back at the group.

Commando: I apologize, but we must get going. It was very nice meeting you. Until next time.

The Commando team immediately dashed off into the foreground as if someone was slaughtering people up on the pier. Yeah. They were THAT urgent.

Dante just shook his head. He looked at the others and smiled.

Dante: What a nutjob. Hahahaha.

He shrugged and his coat billowed in the wind. He put his pistols away and began to walk off down the road.

Chun: Where are you going?

Dante: I'm going home. Before Ono appears and asks us what happened to his sex slave Agev.

Dante waved at the group and laughed as he casually walked down the road.

Chris and Amaterasu looked at each other. Chris laughed and Amaterasu howled. They both ran to catch up with Dante.

Iron Man turned to look at the others.

Iron Man: Well...what do we do now?

Chun: There's really nothing to do...but Dante has a point. Ono could show up any minute now.

Trish: So? We didn't do anything.

Deadpool: Yeah, but he's gonna think we did something. You know how Ono is...he's a sly bastard.

Iron Man: I agree.

Morrigan: So..either we follow Dante, or we follow Commando. Or..we could just...go to the bar and hang out there.

Deadpool: What do you think, Joe?

Viewtiful Joe finally snapped out of it. He stared at Deadpool and spoke.

Viewtiful Joe: Let's follow Commando! Definitely!

Deadpool: I'm going with ya!

Chun: You two have fun. I think I'm going to follow the idiots home.

Trish: I'm going to the bar. You in Morrigan?

Morrigan: Mmmm yes.

She smiled seductively at Trish, who smiled seductively back at her.

Iron Man pondered for a second. "Hmmm..." he thought to himself.

Iron Man: I guess I'll go to the bar as well.

As the group made their decisions, they all went their seperate ways. But...someone was missing...and none of them realized it.

Thor was gone. Nowhere in sight. He disappeared right as Captain Commando appeared. What is the meaning of this? And what happened to the Hummer?

**? (Unknown Palace)**

In an unknown area, the hammer wielding God awoke from his slumber. It was dark, creepy...and moist. Silence filled the area and the God was utterly confused.

Where was he? Where are the others? All these questions flooded his mind. His hammer boomed with power, and the electricity lighted the area.

It was some sort of dark prison. With adamantium bars for capturing convicts and trapping them there. Luckily, Thor was on the outside, free to move about and escape. He looked in the holding cells and found many victims asleep, or unconcious.

Thor: What is the meaning of this...?

Thor moved about the prison. He looked in one holding cell in particular and saw a man throwing pebbles at a wall. Thor walked up to the bars and spoke.

Thor: Are you...alright?

The man stared at Thor. He got up off of the wet mattress and looked at Thor through the bars. He had golden hair, wore a blue striped prison outfit, sported a mean stubble on his chin, and had giant handcuffs on for no particular reason.

?: I'm fine.

His laidback voice boomed through the prison, awakening others from their sleep.

Thor: What is this place?

?: This? This is Yoshinori Ono's Fortress. Pretty..uhh...nasty, huh? I mean we have to drink from the dirty river that runs through this place. That's why it's all wet here.

Thor: How do you live like this?

?: Heh heh. Wouldn't you like to know. How did ya end up here of all places anyway?

Thor: Honestly...I have no clue. I was in Metro City..about to defeat a giant mechanical monstrosity and next thing I know..I wake up here.

?: Heh, that's a strange one...I wonder why you're not in a cell. 'Must got somethin' in store for ya.

Thor: What do you mean?

?: 'Prolly wanted to do somethin' to ya. Weren't expectin' ya to wake up so early. Who knows? They might've been trying to kill you and wanted to save ya for later down here.

Thor: That's preposterous!

?: Hey, when Ono's concerned, nothing is impossible.

Thor: Well, I thank you for your information, but I really must be leaving. I must find a way out of this...this...this hell!

?: I know how ya feel. Too bad we can't escape from here. I'm used to breakin' out of prisons, but this one is a bit more sturdy than the rest.

Thor: Hmm...since you have shared so much information with me...I will gladly release you from this cell. Stand back.

Thor gathered electricity in his hammer and swung the mighty mallet with all of his might. He completely obliterated the adamantium bars with a single, powerful, loud blow. The man stared in disbelief and howled in amazement.

?: Now THAT is power!

The man quickly stepped out of his cell and patted Thor on the shoulder.

?: I owe you one man. What's your name, homie?

Thor: Homie? What is a homie? And my name is Thor. Thor of Asgard.

?: Homie means a lot of things. But it means friend mostly. Thor huh? Name's Cody. Cody Travers.

The two shook hands and Cody thanked Thor for his rescue. Cody asked Thor if he could save some of his friends, and Thor agreed to help them out as well.

Thor destroyed five more cells, but stopped after the fifth one. There was a giant rumble above. Apparently, they were in the basement of the fortress. There was stairs north of the prison, and a giant black door at the very top.

The inmates all patted Thor on the shoulder. The five convicts were: Edward Falcon (Power Stone), Lei Lei (Darkstalkers), Regina (Dino Crisis), Jin Saotome (Cyberbots), and Hayato Kanzaki (Plasma Sword)

Together, they could escape this torturous hellhole and find their way back to the city, where they rightfully belonged.


	5. The Lawn

LIVING IN TWO WORLDS

5. The Lawn

The House was in a state of silence. Doom was angry, Skrull was angry, Ryu was angry...almost everyone was angry.  
Wolverine and Hulk just sat in lawnchairs outside, chatting about news and the like. They had almost completely forgotten about what had just transpired. Felicia was coloring in her coloring book on the lawn, and Captain America was on the roof, seeing as though he could keep his balance easier than the Incredible Klutz.

Captain America had bandages on his face, and his eye was turning black. He had gotten lynched by the two troublemakers, and THEN he got pummeled by a furious Ryu. And the kicker? Captain America didn't even DO ANYTHING.  
He groaned as he nailed boards in an attempt to fix the roof.

Ryu was silent as he sat on the porch. Skrull sat on the other side of the porch silent, and Doom stood on the lawn near Wolverine and Hulk. His arms were crossed and he didn't speak a word.

Wolverine glanced over at Doom and chuckled.

Wolverine: What's wrong Victor?

Wolverine held back a flood of laughter. The Hulk didn't make any things easier. The Hulk stood and made the same face Doom made when Ryu kicked his ass. Wolverine saw The Hulk's expression and he couldn't help but burst into laughter.  
Doom growled in his mind. He glared at the two jokers and began to walk down the road.

Wolverine: HEY, DOOM! WHERE YA GOIN'? RUNNIN' AWAY? YOU GOT YOUR ASS KICKED THAT HARD?

Hulk: NEXT THING YOU KNOW, A CAR IS GOING TO RUN YOU OVER.

Wolverine: YOU BETTER HOPE IT DOESN'T STORM! OR LIGHTNING IS GOING TO STRIKE YOU AGAIN.

Hulk: BUT THIS TIME YOU WON'T HAVE ANYONE TO FIX YOU!

The two jokers taunted Doom for what seemed like forever. Doom clenched his fists and in his mind, he was going insane. He wanted to kill them. So bad.  
As he proceeded down the road, he shot the two his middle finger and stormed off. He had no idea where he was going. But he didn't care. He wanted to get away. From those two. And from Skrull.

Skrull stood up and looked around. He eyed Ryu and then glared at Logan and Bruce. He opened the door and walked in the house. His rage boiled inside of him. He was so angry at Doom. He felt no regret, no sympathy. He had never felt such before, and he wouldn't feel it now.

Ryu stood aswell. He glanced at the destruction of his lemonade stand. He walked toward it and picked up the debris. Felicia looked at him, concerned.  
Wolverine patted Ryu on the shoulder and assured him that it would be alright. The Hulk smiled and sat back in his lawnchair.

**MEANWHILE**

Dante, Chris, Amaterasu, and Chun-Li walked back towards the house. They saw a faint figure in the distance and it looked familiar.  
Dante squinted hard.

Dante: What is that?

Chris: Looks like...a cloaked..person?

Amaterasu: Looks like it. Doctor Doom maybe?

Chun-Li: By himself? No way. It's not Doom if Skrull isn't with him.

Chris: Well...that definitely looks like Doom...they might've had a falling out.

Dante: Psh, I doubt it.

As they crept closer to the figure, they realized that it was indeed Doctor Doom. Doctor Doom was powerwalking, and he showed no sign of stopping.

Dante: Hey, Doom! What's up man?

Doom didn't say a word. He kept walking.

Dante: Doom! What's wrong?

Doom stopped. He turned around and glanced at the demon slayer.

Doom: Skrull. Skrull is what's wrong. He's pissed me off for the last time. I'm tired of his bullshit.

Chris held back a chuckle.

Chris: What did he do?

Doom: Ask him. I don't feel like talking. I'll be back later. I just don't want to see his face.

Chun: Well...I hope you'll be alright.

Doom: Thank you. As do I.

Amaterasu: Where are you headed?

Doom: Somewhere.

Doom bade his farewell, and continued onward. Somewhere.

Dante and the crew looked at each other and shrugged. They continued to walk toward The House to find out what exactly had happened.

**AT THE HOUSE**

Wolverine and The Hulk were lounging in their chairs. In the background they heard someone fall and hit the ground hard. They knew it was Captain America and they laughed their asses off.  
About two minutes later, a jogger passed by. He had a letter in his hands and he proceeded to run towards Wolverine. Wolverine glanced, and his claws extracted immdiately. The jogger reeled back in terror.

Jogger: NO PLEASE. DON'T HURT ME! ONO TOLD ME TO GIVE YOU THIS LETTER!

Wolverine: Ono?

Hulk: Oh no...

Jogger: Yeah! Yeah! Here! Take it!

The jogger dropped the letter and immediately sprinted off as fast as he could. Wolverine picked up the letter and read the contents.

"To: The Guests

Dear Guests, I have a special surprise for you all tomorrow. Be sure to wake up no later than 6:00 AM Meet me at the Metro City Square. We will serve breakfast in the dining room. I have much to dicuss with you all. If you are late, you will be punished. If you do not show up...well, let's just say that you WILL regret it. For the rest of your life.  
I look forward to our meeting. Oh, and by the way, there will be new guests arriving at...well..they will arrive soon after you get this message. Until then, ta-ta. ;)

-Yoshinori Ono

Wolverine grunted and the Hulk snorted.

Hulk: I wonder what's so important?

Wolverine: No idea. It's bad news in my opinion.

Hulk: I agree. 6 AM? That's ridiculous...

Wolverine: Yeah, but it's going to be even worse if we're late...

Felicia: Who are the new guests?

As soon as the words left Felicia's mouth, a long limo crept down the road. Wolverine stared at it.

Wolverine: I guess your question is about to be answered babe.

Hulk: Oh great.

The limo stopped in the driveway. As it did, steam hissed from the bottom like a school bus. One door opened, very casually and a figure stepped from the vehicle.

Wolverine's eyes went wide. The Hulk gasped and Felicia did a double-take. The figure that emerged from the vehicle was...

.com/watch?v=1bwEc56cA8Y

SPIDER-MAN.

Wolverine chuckled as the web-slinger did his trademark pose. He looked about and gasped as he saw Wolverine.

Spider-Man: Oh my god, it's Wolverine!

He ran over and immediately gave Wolverine some dap. He looked over at the Hulk.

Spider-Man: Bruce!

He punched The Hulk's chest and he laughed.

Hulk: Nice to have ya, Peter.

Wolverine: Yeah, I almost thought that you didn't make the cut.

Spider-Man: Please! If I didn't make the cut, it would have had to been an extremely dull knife.

Wolverine: I see your corny lines are still intact. That's fantastic.

Spider-Man: I see your 9-year old facial hair is still intact, Logan. Very charming.

Wolverine smiled slapped Spider-Man upside the head. Spider-Man laughed and looked on the roof and saw Captain America waving at him.

Captain America: Peter! How's it going?

Spider-Man: Good, good! Uhh...what are you doing?

Captain America: Fixing the roof!

Spider-Man was confused. He looked at the Hulk and then back at Wolverine.

Wolverine and the Hulk both replied,  
"Iron Man."

Spider-Man burst out laughing. He grabbed his suitcase and began to walk towards The House.

He looked over his shoulder and saw Felicia and Ryu.

Spider-Man: Hey guys, what's up? I remember you two from Marvel vs. Capcom 2!

Felicia: Yeah! You're Spider-Man! You took really good pictures!

Spider-Man: Yup, that's me!

Spider-Man beamed with pride. Ryu smiled and waved at the web-slinger. He stood and opened the door for him. Spider-Man thanked him and carried his luggage inside.

The door was still open on the limo as the next newcomer stepped out. A very odd-looking man...he wore silver armor and had a pretty pimpin' beard. You could look in his eyes and you could tell he was very lost.

He looked around and stared at Wolverine and the Hulk. He walked toward them with his suitcases in hand.

Wolverine: Uhh...who are you?

?: My name..is Arthur.

.com/watch?v=8qxUmYlVASA&feature=mfu_in_order&list=UL

Hulk: Well, Arthur. It's great to have you. Just set your stuff inside.

Arthur: I thank you! Muscular..green..monstrosity! I've been to hell many times, but I've never seen anything like you!

Wolverine looked at the Hulk's expression and roared with laughter.

Hulk: Uhm..thank you?

Arthur: Your very welcome, Mr. Green!

Hulk: Just call me Hulk. Or Bruce. Bruce Banner.

Arthur: Alright, Bruce. I thank you.

Hulk No problem.

Arthur began to walk toward The House. He introduced himself to Felicia, and he began conversation with Ryu. The two knew each other because Arthur was very close to being included in Tatsunoko vs. Capcom.

Two more guests emerged from the limo. One was a very built, rugged man. He had brown dreadlocks, and wore a green tanktop. His dog tag shone brightly in the sun. But, there was something severely different about this guy. His arm...was..a giant..THING. Almost as if it was living.  
He was known as Nathan Spencer. Or, the Bionic Commando. He carried both of his suitcases with his bionic arm and he nodded at Wolverine. He waved at the Hulk and walked toward the house.

Wolverine: Now THAT looks like a guy I can get along with. Rugged, just like me.

Hulk: That arm is something else..truly different.

The other guest, was a slender woman. She wore all black and had black, sleek hair. She was very attractive. She looked around and stared at Wolverine.  
Wolverine recognized her, but he couldn't put a finger on her name. The Hulk looked at her confused. She walked toward the two and extended her hand. Wolverine shook it, and so did the Hulk. She pulled her hand away from the Hulk quickly, as Hulk was on the verge of crushing it with his mighty strength. Even though he didn't want to.

?: My name is X-23.

Wolverine's eyes went wide. "X-23?" he thought to himself.

Hulk: Logan, is something wrong?

Wolverine: It's nothing.

X-23: So, you're Logan? And you are...?

Hulk: The Hulk. Or, Bruce Banner if you prefer.

X-23: Ah. You're a really big guy!

Hulk: I get that alot.

X-23: Well, I'm gonna go ahead and set my stuff inside. I'll talk to you guys in a bit.

She turned and walked toward the house. Ryu nodded at her and Felicia gave her a hug, despite not knowing who she was. Felicia thought she was pretty, and that was enough for her.

Soon after, the crew finally arrived on the scene. Dante stared at Captain America on the roof and didn't even bother asking. Chris nodded at Wolverine and the Hulk.

Chris: Sup guys?

Hulk: Not much. We've got some more guests.

Chris: Really? Where are they?

Wolverine pointed at the House with his claw. Chris looked over and smiled.

Chris: Do they seem cool?

Wolverine: For the most part, yeah.

Chun: Where's Skrull?

Wolverine: Crying his eyes out inside. His butt buddy left him.

Chun rolled her eyes and walked inside. Amaterasu ran to where Felicia was and the two rolled around on the lawn. Wolverine stared at them. His eye twitched and he began to sweat. He was getting horny.

Dante: Woah there, tiger. No need for that! Not now!

Wolverine: Shut up, pretty boy.

Dante shrugged.

Hulk: Well, everyone is not here...but...I guess it's time we read the note to everyone?

Wolverine: I guess.

Wolverine's penis was at its maximum. He began to grunt repeatedly and his head was shining with sweat.

Hulk: Uhhh...I guess I'll do the reading..

**LATER**

Everyone was outside introducing themselves and whatnot. Skrull sat on the porch with Chun-Li, chatting about the Doom situation.  
Iron Man, Morrigan, and Trish had arrived not too long ago. But there was no sign of Deadpool, Viewtiful Joe, Thor, or Doctor Doom.

Nathan Spencer chatted with the Hulk and Wolverine. They both liked the guy already. Spencer was telling them a story about how he rescued 20 naked chicks from a burning building, and he had their interest in the palm of his hand.

Dante, Ryu, and Chris formed a circle of three as they began to talk about music. Dante kept glancing at X-23, who was talking to Felicia and Amaterasu. He couldn't keep his eyes off of her. He wanted to say something, but he decided to wait until the time was right.  
Morrigan walked up to Arthur and began to make conversation with him.

Morrigan: So, you've been to hell a couple of times?

Arthur: A bunch of times, actually. Why? Have you?

Morrigan: I basically live there.

Arthur: Splendid! There's actually someone here I can relate to!

Morrigan: Mmm..we can do more than relate..

She put her hands on his armor and began to moan.

Morrigan: Why don't you take all of this clunky armor off? So I can get to know...the real you.

She stared deep into his eyes. Arthur stared back as a wide grin appeared on his face. He howled with laughter as he took Morrigan's hands off of his armor.

Arthur: You amuse me. But you will not tempt me seductress. Nice try.

Morrigan pouted.

Morrigan: You're no fun.

Arthur: Maybe some other time. I've had my fair share of women like you in Hell. There's only one woman that's right for me.

Morrigan: That's respectable. But, you gotta know when to have some fun.

Arthur: I do have fun. Just not in the way you do.

Morrigan: Hmph.

Arthur: Don't be upset. We can still be friends. After all, Hell is a bitch, am I right?

Morrigan: *giggle* Indeed it is, Sir Arthur.

Spider-Man walked over to where Dante, Chris, and Ryu were. He eavesdropped on their conversation and just listened to what they were saying.

Chris: Umm...can we help you?

Spider-Man was startled.

Spider-Man: Oh! No. I was just listening that's all. You know, I like Nirvana too.

Dante: All right! Awesome! I knew there were other fans out there! In your face Chris!

Chris: Hey! Nirvana is alright, but I prefer bands like Soundgarden. Linkin Park...some Alice in Chains.

Spider-Man: Who DOESN'T like Alice in Chains?

Dante's grin widened.

Dante: I like this guy already!

Ryu: I've never heard of any of these bands...I don't listen to rock. I listen to techno. And a little bit of hip hop.

Chris: Modern hip-hop is kinda sucky. There are only a select few that are good today.

Dante: T.I., Young Jeezy, Jay-Z, Drake, Kanye West, Lupe Fiasco...to name a few.

Ryu: Yes. Honestly, who in their right mind would listen to such like...Waka Flocka Flame? I mean honestly..the name is a turn-off.

Spider-Man: Indeed. Now, I like some Daft Punk myself.

Ryu: YES!

The four kept talking about music. Iron Man joined in soon after, and the five kept sharing their musical preferences. Dante however, was distracted. He kept looking over at the gothic beauty. She didn't even really notice him. She glanced at him however, and Dante turned his head away immediately. she knew he was looking at her. And her face began to burn.

Felicia: What's wrong, X?

X-23: It's...uhh...it's nothing.

Amaterasu stared at X-23 confused. The spiritual wolf howled with laughter.

As the guests chatted with each other, The Hulk grabbed the note. He had something to tell everyone.

**Unknown Building**

In an unknown building, three figures sat in the darkness. The glow coming from the lab on the other side of the room provided any light. The figures sat there, in silence.  
One man had incredibly slicked-back hair. He wore a long trench coat and was clean shaven. He wore shades and his all-black attire made it that much harder to see him in the darkness.

Another man wore mostly red/maroon, with a bit of purple. He wore a helmet on his head, and was a slightly old man. Looking like someone in their 40's. His suit was very tight however, and you could tell it was annoying because of how he kept pulling the fabric around his legs. Must've been pretty awkward.  
The last figure was...well...it was hard to tell. He had a chair...and it levitated. But, his body was...well..he didn't really have a body. He was just a giant...head. On a chair. His wide grin could almost illuminate the room, but it was much, much, much too dark for that.

The man in black finally stood. He walked over to the lab and cackled menacingly. He pushed up his shades and his malicious grin could scare off the bravest of men. His name was Albert Wesker.  
He was testing the effects of adrenaline in plants. To see, what type of reaction they would have. He was fascinated. Much to his calculations, the plants did indeed grow slightly faster. Due to proper lighting and watering.

Wesker: This is marvelous. Absolutely marvelous.

The man in red slammed his fist on the table. He was obviously aggravated by something, and Wesker didn't help at all. His name was Magneto.

Magneto: This...is so...childish! Why are we testing on PLANTS! Of all things, honestly Albert! We should be doing something...EVIL!

Wesker: You shut up. This is marvelous.

Magento: BAH. I give up trying to reason with you. What about you Modok?

The giant head spun around in his chair. He was oblivious as to what exactly was going on.

Modok: Hey, Magneto, wanna see how many times I can spin around in this chair before I get dizzy?

Magneto slapped himself and screamed in agony.

Magneto: I WORK WITH TWO FUCKING IMBECILES!

Modok: Quit your whining.

Wesker: Indeed. Go sit in the corner, Magneto. The only one miserable here is you. If you want to be productive, go be productive. I have no time for your incoherent babbling.

Magneto: ... *sigh*

JUST THEN

A knock on the door was heard. Modok's eyes went wide and he looked at Wesker. Wesker turned around and eyed the door. He casually walked toward the door.

Wesker: Who is it?

It was Doctor Doom at the door.

Doom: Victor Von Doom.

Wesker: Sorry, I don't know any Dooms. Goodbye.

Doom: Please, I need your assistance.

Wesker: Speak your business.

Doom: Evil. I want evil.

Wesker: Hmmm...

Doom: Please.

Wesker: Do you like to watch plants grow by injecting them with adrenaline?

Magneto was shaking his head at the table. He was silently saying, "Say no, SAY NO!" to himself.

Doom: Yes.

Magneto facepalmed.

Wesker: Good. What's your favorite color?

Doom: Green.

Wesker: Favorite movie?

Doom: Toy Story.

Wesker: 1, 2, or 3?

Doom: All of them. 2 was slightly worse than the rest.

Wesker: Very good.

Wesker grinned. He opened the door and welcomed the Doctor.

Wesker: Welcome aboard. We are called Magnetic Umbrella. Our 4th member, Doctor Doom has joined! HUZZAH!

Modok: HUZZAH!

Magneto gave a very unenthusiastic, "Huzzah..."

Doom: Wait...there are only four of us?

Wesker: Not exactly. We have our..."colleagues". But they are of a much higher...caliber, shall we say. Dormammu, Mephisto, Black Heart, Thanos, Carnage, Seth, Gill, Sigma, Astaroth, Jedah...the list goes on and on.

Doom: Oh...

Wesker: Yeah. So, as a new member, you have to complete the initiation.

Doom: Initiation?

Wesker: Yes. I have a screwdriver in my hand. I will shove it up your ass. You must not scream for 10 seconds.

Doom's eyes bulged. He eyed the screwdriver and he screamed in his mind. He had already failed the initiation. He shook his head, took the pressure out of his mind, and nodded. Wesker made a hand-motion signaling Doom to turn around. Doom obliged.  
Magneto covered his eyes while Modok watched with interest. Wesker had a demonic smirk on his face. As the metal hit the ground, Wesker knew it was time. Doom closed his eyes. He felt the dull head creep slowly up his butthole. It was slow at first, but Wesker kicked it up to about 10x intensity.

Doom's eyes popped open. He had never felt so violated in his life. He was flipping out in his mind, but he couldn't show it. He had to endure it.  
If this was just the initiation, what else were these weirdos doing? Is Doom wasting his time? Find out next time.

TBC


	6. Yoshinori

LIVING IN TWO WORLDS

6. Yoshinori

**4:00 A.M.**

The sun hadn't even came out yet. Two and a half hours until the meeting.  
The guests were all sound asleep in their rooms. Until...an alarm went off...

It was Ryu's alarm. Ryu's eyes popped open and he sprung from his bed. He tied his headband around his head and he began to do push-ups on the floor.

Ryu: 1..2..3..4..5..6...

He continued to count until he made it to 50. He jumped up, ready to go. He ran down to the basement and looked at the washing machine. His worst enemy.  
Ryu's eyes narrowed. He stared down the machine and pointed at it.

Ryu: I will NOT succumb to your dirty tricks you foul being.

Ryu eyed the machine as if expecting a reply. Ryu scoffed and shook his fist threateningly. The machine was not impressed however.

Ryu: Fine then. We'll see how you handle a shoryuken if you attempt to fight me.

He walked toward the machine and studied it. There were clothes in a basket beside it. He knew these were the clothes of his friends and he didn't want to let them down. He opened the mouth of the washing machine and threw the clothes in. He closed the lid and looked at all the buttons and knobs on the front.  
His brain tried to process all of the words and actions. His eyes began to cross and drool slid out of his wide-open mouth. This was going to be bad. And Ryu knew it.  
He looked over and saw GAIN Washing Powder on the counter nearby. He remembered Chun Li telling him to use it when he was about to wash. Ryu grabbed it and dumped the whole box in. He smiled as he closed the lid.

Ryu: Did I do it right?

He looked at the buttons. Thankfully, he found a simple "Start" button. He pushed it, and water began filling the machine. He couldn't see anything but powder. As the machine filled, Ryu smiled and walked back upstairs to grab a quick snack.

Iron Man was up aswell. He was in the bathroom, washing his face and grooming his facial hair. He flipped up his phone and noticed he got a text from Deadpool.

"We'll be home at around 5:00 A.M., don't leave us behind! :)"

Iron Man rolled his eyes and gently ran his razor across his creamed face.

Super Skrull woke up soon after. He was starving. He saw Ryu in the kitchen and quickly turned around, not wanting to face his wrath again. Ryu spotted him, and called for Skrull to join him. Skrull gave off a meek smirk, and decided to join the Shoto fighter.

Nathan Spencer joined Iron Man in the huge bathroom. Spencer borrowed some of Iron Man's cream, and they both began to shave silently with Arthur joining them not too long after.

Chris made his way to living room. He looked up at the newly fixed roof and smiled. His hair was a mess and he had a giant hole in his Looney Tunes underwear. He slumped on the couch and turned to the Late-Night news.

"Speculation has arrived, surrounding a certain...omnious looking building in downtown Metro City. Reporters say there is a madman inside...who is threatening to...inject plants with..adrenaline. This is no farfetched tale folks, this guy is CRAZY."

The reporter began to laugh at his own sarcasm.

"There also seems to be...three more psychos associated in the scene. One sounds like he's severly constipated and the other one has the most annoying voice I've ever heard in my life. It makes me want to take a screwdriver and shove it up my ass, so my scream can block out his voice!"

A loud "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" could be heard from inside the building, obviously from Doctor Doom.

Chris' eyes widened as he turned up the TV. The camera on the news shifted to the building, in the window, Magneto stared out..as if begging the cops to burst in to arrest them. Wesker was seen in the window above, just staring. He pushed up his shades and retreated back to the lab.

Chris was astonished. Was that really Doctor Doom? What was going to happen to these guys?  
The news then turned to another story, how Dr. Light invented a new medication to prevent enlarged robot testicles.

Chris stared into space and soon he fell asleep again on the couch. Captain America, The Hulk, Amaterasu, and Felicia awoke and they all walked into the kitche to join Ryu and Skrull.  
Chun-Li walked into the women's bathroom and began to mess with her hair. Trish walked in and began to do the same, with Morrigan accompanying her.

Wolverine scratched his chin and yawned loudly as he sprung from his bed. He was still tired. He opened his closet and tried to decide what to wear.  
Spider-Man and Dante awoke at the same time, dapped each other, and walked down the hallway. As they did, a door opened on Dante's side, and a figure peeped out to look and see if everyone else was up. As she did so, she looked in front of her and Dante stared her directly in the face. Dante was startled. He jumped back in suprise and Spider-Man burst out into laughter.

X-23 began to giggle at Dante as well. Dante regained his composure, smiled, and nodded at X-23. She nodded back.

Dante and Spider-Man proceed down the hallway afterwards and met up with everyone in the kitchen and living room.

**4:50 A.M.**

Everyone was in the kitchen chatting with each other in an attempt to kill time. Amaterasu heard knocking on the door and went to open it. As she did, two figures emerged through the door. It was Deadpool and Viewtiful Joe, who had been spedning most of their time with their idol, Captain Commando. They had Captain Commando drinking hats, flags, and shirts. They looked like they had been to some type of concert.

Wolverine sat on a stool in the kitchen. His hair was looking wicked and he still wasn't fully awake.

Wolverine: Why the hell does Ono want us up so damn early for?

Spider-Man: Eh, I dunno. I heard it's some kind of interview for a magazine. After breakfast, that is.

Felicia: Magazine?

Spider-Man: Yeah...uhh..GameInformer, Kotaku, Famitsu..PS3 magazines, and 360 magazines and sites.

Chris awoke from his slumber on the couch. His interest had peaked.

Chris: Hmm. This could be interesting.

Hulk: Hulk agrees. But..like Wolverine said, why so early?

Spider-Man: Traffic.

Wolverine nodded as if all was clear now.

Wolverine: Ah. Well that makes sense.

Spencer: I heard there are four new guests arriving afterwards. Actually...six. Well no, five.

Wolverine: FIVE?

Hulk dropped his orange just as he was about to take a bite out of it.

Chun: Oh my goodness...how many of us are in this game?

Chris shrugged and Spencer chuckled.

Arthur was in his boxers looking in the fridge.

Arthur: Excuse me..but where is the milk?

Dante: We don't have any. Captain Douchebag drank it all.

Captain America: Hey! I needed that milk for my protein shakes!

Trish: Protein shakes? Please.

Captain America: I'm serious!

Deadpool: Nah, Cap. Those shakes didn't do anything but make your face fat.

Captain America: You guys make me sick.

Dante: Go cry about it.

Skrull: There's milk in my room Arthur. It's only a small carton sooo you might not get much out of it.

Arthur: Any will do. Thank you, my...elven friend!

Morrigan burst out laughing as did Spider-Man and Chris.

Skrull: Elven?

Chris: Your pointy ears.

Skrull: Ohhh...

Dante was laughing and chatting with Spider-Man. He glanced over at X-23. She was sitting with Felicia and Amaterasu again, combing her hair. Dante felt weird. Like..something was burning inside of him. Heartburn? I think not.  
He coughed, patted Spider-Man on the shoulder and made his way toward X-23. He pulled up a stool and joined the three in conversation.

Felicia: HEY DANTE!

Dante waved at Felicia and dapped Amaterasu. He stared at X-23 and she stared back.

Dante: Sup?

X-23: Not much. Still kinda tired.

Dante: Ah, that sucks. And the day just started!

X-23: I know...that's the worst part.

Dante: You'll make it. Don't worry. I won't let ya fall out.

X-23: That's sweet of you.

Felicia: Dante? Sweet? Those two words don't belong together!

Dante: Felicia! Where's your ball of yarn?

Felicia: Umm...oh! I forgot all about it!

Felicia darted off down the hallway, much to Dante's relief.

Dante: That cat gets weirder and weirder everyday.

X-23: Hahaha.

Amaterasu: Dante. You seem...different? Everything okay?

Dante smiled VERY big at Amaterasu.

Dante: Everything is just dandy! Fantastic! Hiddly ho!

Amaterasu's mouth dropped. X-23 looked at Dante confused and Morrigan's eyebrows furrowed. She touched Dante's forehead.

Morrigan: He's not running a fever...

Wolverine: Hmm..I think he has a case of Love-itis.

Wolverine began to chuckle as he poked the Hulk. Hulk laughed as well.

Dante glared at Wolverine, he was about to stand until a knock was heard at the door. Iron Man sipped on his coffee and looked at the Hulk. The Hulk nodded.  
He walked over to the door and slowly opened it. The Hulk's eyes fixated on the figure and he growled very low. It was another Capcom Employee Ninja...named..."Ron".

Ron: Is everyone awake?

Hulk: Yes. For the most part.

Ron looked puzzled. Hulk pointed at Chris as he snored on the couch.

Ron: Oh..I see. Well, you have about thirty minutes to get absolutely ready. Ken Masters is coming by in his limo. So, make sure you're not forgetting anything.

Hulk: Hulk understands.

Ron nodded.

Ron: I wish you all the best of luck. And DON'T BE LATE. I heard about what the punishment would be...and it's just plain..disturbing. Something about..toothpaste..aluminum foil..hammers..and spears..

Hulk: O_O

Iron Man: O_O

Deadpool: TOOTHPASTE!

Arthur: SPEARS!

Spencer: ALUM-ALUM-ALUMINUM FOIL!

Chris woke up from his sleep.

Chris: HAMMERS!

He fell back down and went back to sleep.

Ron: Yes. I am for serious.

Hulk: Thanks for the heads-up. We'll be sure not to be late.

Ron: Good. You guys take care.

Hulk: You too.

The ninja darted off into the oncoming sunrise.

Wolverine: Ono is one twisted man...what does he plan on doing to the people that's late?

Morrigan: I don't know about you guys, but that makes me slightly horny.

Dante: Everything makes you horny!

Morrigan: What's your point?

Ryu: Horny? What's that?

Chun Li slapped Ryu across the head hard. Her face was red and she crossed her arms.

Chun: You are an IDIOT.

Felicia and Iron Man giggled at Ryu's demise.

Iron Man: It's alright Ryu, Chun Li is just sorta frustrated. She wants to make you horny.

Chun glared daggers into Iron Man, and he knew he was in trouble. He slowly got off of his stool and retreated into the living room.

Ryu: What was that all about? WHAT DOES HORNY MEAN!

Spencer and Arthur looked at each other.

Spencer: Uhh...I gotta comb my hair..

Arthur: Me too.

They both ran down the hallway at extreme speed.

Spider-Man and Wolverine slowly retreated into the living room. Felicia and Amaterasu joined them.

Dante and X-23 looked at each other and X-23's face turned bright red. Dante turned away and Trish was staring dead at him. Dante smiled and shrugged. Trish shook her head and joined the others in the living room.  
X-23 tilted her head to the side, as if confused. Dante shrugged again and followed everyone into the living room. Super Skrull joined Viewtiful Joe and Deadpool as they played the PS3. Captain America watched.

Chun-Li, Ryu, and Morrigan were still in the kitchen. Ryu looked at Chun, who wouldn't look back. Morrigan giggled.

Morrigan: Ah, human love life.

Chun glared at Morrigan and made a zipping motion across her lips. Morrigan winked at her and looked at Ryu. She moaned and made her way into the living room, where she lay on top of Chris.

Ryu was absolutely baffled as of what to do now. He looked over at Chun-Li and walked over to her. He stared into her eyes and then...he remembered something...

Ryu: THE CLOTHES!

Ryu pushed Chun-Li over and ran as fast as he could to the basement. Chun-Li was disgusted with Ryu. When she saw him she was going to kick his ass. And I mean, KICK. HIS. ASS.

**6:15 A.M.**

Ryu brought the clothes from the basement. He totally fucked them all up. All of the clothes were white..over-saturated..and completely ruined. He was sweating hard..he knew he was in trouble. He took the clothes to his room and pushed them all under his bed. Maybe they'd forget about them? That was Ryu's philosophy.  
He wiped his forehead and walked back into the kitchen. He was paranoid and hesitant. He opened the fridgerator and a hand placed itself on his shoulder.

Ryu smacked it away and turned to face his interrogator.

Ryu: I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING.

Captain America: What are you talking about?

Ryu: DON'T ACCUSE ME OF SOMETHING I DIDN'T DO.

Captain America: Ryu, I didn't..I'm just try-

Ryu: -STAY AWAY FROM ME.

Ryu stormed off into the living room. He sat in the corner and began to rock back and forth in place. Everyone stared at him.

Viewtiful Joe: What's up with him?

Everyone shrugged.

Before anyone got to question Ryu, a horn was heard outside. It was Ken Masters in his limo. The gang all walked outside and piled up in the limo. It was divided into two sections, so they would all have room.  
Ken had on his signature red gi, with Nike shoes, aviators on his face, and a cowboy hat. He looked like he just got home from trick-or-treating.

Ken: Metro City Square?

Iron Man: Indeed.

Ken: LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOOO!  
He slammed on the gas and zipped downtown at about 80mph. The cops didn't care. Ken was rich. He could buy his way out of everything.

Before anyone really had a chance to start conversation, they were there. In 5 minutes. That's how fast they were going. In a limo. Fictional universes are awesome.

The guests all got out of the limo and stared up at the building the sat before them. Ono's Tower. It was even ominous-looking.

Dante: Not wanting to be cliche..but I have a baaad feeling about this.

They all agreed with Dante, and they entered the complex. They made their way up to the 12th floor and entered a giant room. A LARGE table with over 30 chairs was in front of them. But other than that...it was empty. There were windows..a wide-screen TV on the wall to the right..and plants...but no people.  
They all walked into the room and noticed their seats had pieces of paper on them. They had assigned seats.

Viewtiful Joe sighed.

Joe: Feels like I'm back in the 3rd grade.

Spider-Man: Tell me about it.

They all sat in their respective chairs and began to start conversation with one another before an alarm went off. It startled everyone beyond belief and numerous ninjas emerged from the door at the top of the room. The guests began to draw their weapons, but a voice told them to fall back. It was THAT voice. Yes, it was the man himself. The mastermind that set up this WHOLE thing.  
Yoshinori Ono.

He emerged from the door, with a wide grin on his face. He wore a grey button-up shirt with black designer pants. Very flashy. He had on aviators, much like the ones Ken wore. He wore Grey converse sneakers and he was a very sharp-dressed man. He had a diamond watch on his wrist and a couple of rings on his fingers. He sat at the head of the table and grinned.

Ono: How are you all?

Everyone: Fine.

Ono: Good.

He pulled out notecards immediately and stared at everyone.

Ono: I'm going to call roll. Respond when your name is called.

Ono: Iron Man. Dante. Hulk. Felicia.

They all responded.

Ono: Trish. Chun-Li. Wolverine. Captain America.

They all responded as well.

Ono: Spencer. Morrigan. Deadpool. Super Skrull. Spider-Man.

They all responded.

Ono: Amaterasu. Chris Redfield. Viewtiful Joe. Thor. X-23.

All but one responded.

Ono: Doctor Doom. Ryu. Magneto. Albert Wesker. MODOK. Arthur.

Only two responded.

Ono: We're missing a few.

Spider-Man gulped.

Ono: No matter. They'll get their punishment when I see them. Hahaha. But anyway, down to business.

He glanced over at Ryu.

Ono: What's the matter Ryu?

Ryu: I DIDN'T DO IT.

Ono raised one eyebrow. He didn't question Ryu any further.

Ono: The reason why I have brought you all here today is because well, I have received word that numerous gaming outlets want to hear us. And by "hear us" I mean, answer some questions. We are going to be on "talk shows" later on tonight. That's right.

The guests all gasped.

Ono: Yes. We need to market this game as best we can. Because if I make profit, YOU make profit. If I go big, YOU GO big. We scratch each other's back. So give the fans what they want to hear, and we're in the clear!

Deadpool: Nice rhyme, sir.

Ono: Be quiet, Deadpool.

Deadpool tilted his head downward as if his feelings were hurt. Viewtiful Joe patted him on the shoulder.

Ono: I've already arranged who goes on which show, because if we ALL went to the same show, that would just be chaos. And there is one SPECIAL show towards the end of it all, in which fans decide who the best of the best is, and nominate the top FOUR BEST.

Ono: Here is the schedule.

GamingPress Show: Iron Man, Super Skrull, Felicia, Amaterasu, Arthur, and Wesker.  
SuperGames: Morrigan, Ryu, Hulk, Chun-Li, Spider-Man and Wolverine AbsoluteGaming: Chris, Dante, Deadpool, Viewtiful Joe, X-23, and Trish CrossMedia: Captain America, MODOK, Magneto, Doctor Doom, Spencer, and Thor,

Ono: That's the schedule, so until then, rest easy. You are free to leave, but you can't leave this building. You have four options. Go to the gym, the pool, the lounge area, or the game room. Your decision.

Dante: Sweeeeeet.

Ono: Yes, but first, get some breakfast. You've got a long day ahead of you.

The guests all got up from their seats.

Ono: Oh yes, before I forget. There will be more guests showing up later today.

Hulk: Who?

Ono: She-Hulk, Tron Bonne, Shuma Gorath, Jill Valentine, and Zero! :)

Chris: JILL?

Hulk: SHE-HULK?

Dante: A WOMAN HULK! WHAT THE FUCK.

Viewtiful Joe: WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE? I remember Zero but that's it!

Wolverine: Shuma Gorath! That ugly bastard tried to tentacle rape Felicia in MVC2!

Iron Man: He did WHAT?

Trish: Ewwww tentacles...

X-23: Double ewww...

Chun: Triple ewwwww...

Deadpool: QUADRUPLE EWWWWW!

Ono: Enough. They will show up later. Also, you all really need to get on your chores. Don't think I've forgotten. Alson, when your done here, GET SOME GROCERIES! They won'y magically appear in the fridge if you open it! Geez. Common sense people! Whatever, just be ready at anytime. So until then, peace out homies.

Ono grinned and disappeared immediately with his ninja posse. The doors opened behind them and they were free to go.  
They walked out of the double doors and they all decided to spilt up and do their own thing.

But where was Doctor Doom? Where was Thor? Where was the Magnetic Umbrella? Who are these new guests? What was in store for our remaining guests?  
Questions will be answered in due time.

TBC

**HOLD ON, VERY IMPORTANT NOTE.**

THAT'S RIGHT. These "talkshows" I've been talking about? That's right, it's viewer-interaction time.  
You may come up with 5 questions to ask ANY of the guests. The questions can be ANYTHING, I don't care. Just as long as they are not like...just...unreadable.  
Next chapter will star the first two media outlets and the next one after that will star the other two. They will be pretty short so I will bust them out pretty quick.  
Afterwards, after all is done, you may nominate TWO guests who are YOUR favorites so far. I know I haven't really fleshed out some characters like I've wanted to..but ah well. Contact me either in the comments, messaging, E-mail, anything you can do to reach me and get me those questions.

And If I don't get enough, I'll just come up with my own to fill the void. Haha. So until then, SEE YA!


	7. Insane Inquiry

7. Insane Inquiry

As the day drew closer and closer to time for the talkshows, the guests all met up in a giant corridor, making their way to Yoshinori Ono's office. Yoshinori Ono wasn't going to forget about the late ones either, he had something special waiting for them.

Lord only knows what that twisted little man has up his sleeve. The four troublesome madmen were going to be punished greatly. As he sat on his grand throne in the middle of some fortress, he pressed a button under the throne. He leaned back, and grinned.

A massive figured walked up to the throne and took a bow. He got down on one knee and stared at the insane Ono.

?: What's so funny, my lord?

Ono: Oh nothing. Just..the thought of a successful plan coming to fruition. You. Join them.

?: What? You can't be serious, my lord! NOOO!

Ono: Do as I say. DON'T question me.

?: I just..I..

Ono: Shut up. Go. And take Thor with you. He's leading some group into the city. Let them go, and take Thor with you. I have plans for the escapees.

?: But..but..my lord..

Ono: Dormammu. You cannot serve me any longer. You are with them now. You're in this game, and you must be with them. I am sorry, but you are dismissed.

Dormammu: Yoshinori...

Ono: I await you at my building. Make haste Dormammu.

And with that, the psychotic man disappeared with a smirk, leaving Dormammu in a depressed state..questioning his existence.

Dormammu: I have to..live with them...I should kill myself now..

**West Wing, Alpha Corridor**

As the guests walked down the extremely long corridor, they began to chat, and think about the talkshows. Some were nervous, and some weren't. Deadpool was satisfied and didn't have a care in the world. He had played Super Street Fighter IV in the arcade earlier, so he was feeling good.

Chris: What if...what if they throw things at me?

Chun Li: That's only at concerts, Chris..not on talkshows.

Ryu: The crowd throws objects at us?

Trish: No! They don't! They express their opinions in Booos or cheers. They don't throw things hahaha.

Super Skrull: If one of those degenerate cretins throw something at me, genocide will be my middle name.

Dante: That's harsh Skrull.

Spider-Man: Word.

Felicia: I'm so ready! I wanna perform songs for the audience! It's my shot at becoming a pop star!

Ryu: Pop star?

Chun Li: NO! It's nothing Ryu.

Ryu: Pop star? What are you popping? Balloons?

Dante couldn't help but smile. Arthur looked down at the sparkling floor, counting the tiles to avoid laughing at Ryu.

Wolverine: Ryu..I worry about you sometimes, bub.

Hulk: Yes. Hulk thinks Ryu lived under a rock.

Deadpool: LIKE PATRICK STAR! From Spongebob! I love that show!

Viewtiful Joe: ME TOO!

The two jokesters high-fived each other. Trish shook her head and Morrigan laughed.

Spencer: SOMEONE HIGH FIVE ME!

Deadpool: UP HIGH!

Deadpool went up for a high five, but he realized he was about to meet the wrath of Spencer's bionic arm. The arm slammed into Deadpool, nearly breaking his arm and launching him into a nearby wall. He created a massive crater, like something out of Dragon Ball Z. Deadpool cringed on the floor and gave Spencer a thumbs-up.

Deadpool: Oh..*grunt* my kidney..

Spencer: Oops..my bad, bro!

Viewtiful Joe: ...That's just scary.

Iron Man: Pfft. That's nothing.

Spencer: Wanna try it?

Iron Man: Not at the moment. I'll test out your arm later, see if it's really so powerful.

Spencer: That's what I thought.

Iron Man: What?

Spencer: You heard me.

Iron Man stopped in his tracks, turned around and met Spencer's gaze. The two stared each other down for the longest before Chris began to tug Iron Man down the long hall.

Arthur: Uh oh..I sense animosity..

Wolverine: Same here, bub. And my nose is the best around.

Spencer smirked and snubbed his nose.

Spencer: Psh, who does he think he is?

Captain America: Tony is just...confident. Don't mind him, soldier.

Spencer: Tch. He's an asshole.

Spider-Man: Tony is Tony. He's rich. Do you think he cares?

Spencer: He's going to need that money to buy a new face when I'm done with him.

Arthur: No need for that, my friend.

Wolverine: Heh heh...let em' fight.

Hulk: Hulk concurs.

Felicia: No! No fighting! We have to make it to the talkshows in one piece! Remember!

Spencer snorted and looked at Felicia.

Spencer: AFTER the talkshows.

Felicia smiled and cheered.

Felicia: OKAY!

Wolverine facepalmed.

As the crew made their way down the corridor, they finally approached the giant door that led to **Ono's main office**. Hulk opened it, and the gang laid their eyes on a grinning Ono.

Ono sat up in his chair and greeted the guests. He pointed at a clock.

Ono: Right on time. Sit in your respective chairs.

The guests all walked around, looking for chairs with their names on them. Ryu was absolutely baffled. He could not find his for the life of him. Arthur laughed and pointed at the chair beside him, Ryu smiled, and sat.

Ono: Good. Now hold on, we're teleporting!

Dante: Wait...what!

Ono: I decided..it would be better if we were all on one big show, instead of seperate ones!

Hulk: HULK IS SCARED!

Wolverine: Hulk, it's just a teleporter bub.

X-23: I'm kinda scared too...

Dante looked across the room and stared at the scared X-23. He couldn't help but to feel a little fuzzy inside. He wanted to hold her..to comfort her..but he was across the room. There was nothing he could do.  
He then glanced over and noticed Chris beside her. Chris was sweating bullets and his eyes were larger than planets.

The room began to shake violently, and the office began to spin.

Ono: You guys better make a good impression! Or I will...I will...my punishment is so brutal I can't even comprehend what I was about to say!

Deadpool: SWEET MOTHER OF GOD.

Arthur: BY ALL THAT IS HOLY...!

Spencer: That's just not right!

Super Skrull: Room..spinning..too..fast..

Viewtiful Joe: Don't piss yourself Skrull!

Felicia: Eww!

Ryu: OH MY...TAATSSSUUUUMAAAAAKKKIIIIIIII!

The room spinned more violent than ever and soon...it completely disappeared. Seconds of traveling in an alternate reality called a Hyperverse, the guests all appeared in a puff. In their respective chairs in front of thousands of people. There were bright lights all over the place. The stage was huge, and there was a giant desk where an extremely giddy man sat at. He wore all grey, with a grey tie. His hair was brown and slicked back all professional-like. His teeth were pearly white and his eyes were bright and curious.  
He smiled at the guests and shuffled his cue cards. He tightened his neck tie and looked at the camera man. The camera man gave him and thumbs-up, and the man started the show. His name was Jason, and this was his show. MediaGods.

Jason: Hello everybody, and welcome to MediaGods, the one place to go for all your media needs! Today we have some very important visitors with us, the cast of Marvel vs. Capcom 3!

The audience cheered in delight and the guests all waved at them.

Jason: Today, we have questions. Reveals. Secrets. All that good stuff to talk about, because Ono told me that we could ask you...ANYTHING. But let's get right to it, shall we? No need for introductions, the world already knows who you are.

He took a sip from his mug and looked over his cards. At that moment, 5 figures teleported onto the stage and sat in their chairs. Modok, Doctor Doom, Magneto, Wesker, and Thor. Doctor Doom was right beside Super Skrull, and Skrull scooted his chair away from Doom. The crowd did its signature "Ooooos".

Jason: I have some fan questions for some of you, so, let's get started. First off, we have one for you, Deadpool!

Deadpool poked his chest out and giggled to himself.

Jason: This question is from **Sony Ninja**.  
Jason: "Out of any of the girls in the house, who would you date?"

Deadpool laughed to himself.

Deadpool: Well, Sony Ninja...I gotta say I would date Felicia. I mean come on, catgirls are totally sexy. Plus, she's barely wearing any clothing. She's walking porn!

The men in the audience cheered for Deadpool, while the women looked at him in disgust.

Jason: Felicia, how do you feel?

Felicia: Well..Deadpool is pretty funny..but..I wanna see what's under his mask.

Deadpool: Woah there little missy..that is CLASSIFIED information.

Morrigan: Mmm..you should totally show us Deadpool. Be a man.

Trish: Yeah Deadpool. Be a man.

Deadpool: I..I..

Audience: Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it!

Deadpool whispered to himself, "They don't pay me enough for this."

Deadpool: No! The mask stays on! Buuuuuut, Morrigan...take your clothes OFF! Be a woman!

The women in the audience growled at Deadpool, and Deadpool felt the hostility. One more quip like that and he won't be having kids ANYTIME soon.

Iron Man jumped from his seat and fist pumped.

Iron Man: HELL YEAH!

Morrigan: Hmm...maybe later.

Deadpool: Exactly! When she strips, I'll take my mask off for the viewers at home to see!

Jason: Hahahaha. So, Felicia is your choice, eh?

Deadpool: Yep. She's bubbly, she's sexy, she purs..plus she can give me a bath without me having to get in water!

Audience: EWWWWWWWW!

Felicia gagged.

Deadpool: What!

Jason: That's a little disturbing. Just a little. Hahahaha. Alright, second part of the question, is there anyone in the house you'd mess with more than the others?

Deadpool: Chun-Li is a total bitch, so I don't wanna mess with her. Trish is okay, Morrigan is old, Amaterasu..nah..and X-23 is pretty good. So I say, X-23. I believe all the men agree.

Men in the audience: YEEEEAAAAAAHHHH!

Dante grew increasingly frustrated in his seat. Chun-Li and Morrigan were about to slap the fuck out of Deadpool until Jason intervened.

Jason: Alright, next question is from** Eggmiester**!  
Jason: For Ryu, "What's 2 plus 2?"

Ryu: What kind of question is that? 2 plus 2 is 22.

Magneto: Holy shit..where did I just warp to? Elementary school?

Modok: What a baffoon.

Wolverine looked at the ceiling. Hulk buried his face in his hands. Chun-Li shook her head. Spencer sighed, Arthur looked around, Spider-Man whistled, Chris played with his pistol, and Amaterasu slapped herself. The audience was quiet.

Ryu: What?

Jason: o_o

Trish: Umm..just..go to the next quest-

Deadpool: -WAAAAIIIITTT! 2+2 is 5! I saw it on TV!

Wesker: This is embarrasing.

Viewtiful Joe: Oh no...

Ryu: No! It's 22!

Dante: 2 plus 2 is 4.

Felicia: I can't believe they are arguing over this.

Amaterasu: The idiots we live with...

Chun: Ain't that the truth...

Hulk: 2+2 is 4. Basic arithmetic. Ryu, you're an idiot. Plain and simple. Deadpool, you just spew random shit to hear yourself speak. Shut up.

The audience cheered for the Hulk's outburst and the Hulk smiled and waved.

Deadpool: Hey Hulk, you didn't brush your teeth this morning.

The Hulk covered his mouth immediately and looked at the crowd, who began taking pictures.

Jason: Ooookay. Hahaha next question is from **Rider Paladin**!  
Jason: To Spider-Man! "Are you married or otherwise romantically involved in your civilian identity? Answer carefully, because you have a maneater on your team and I think she wants to sink her teeth into you!"

Spider-Man: Actually, I was married! But, due to my crime-fighting as Spider-Man..our relationship strained and we thought it was best to go our seperate ways. I have also been romantically involved numerous times..especially with my secret lover, a certain feline.

Audience: Awwwwwwwwwwwww.

Dante: You were married?

Spider-Man: Yeah..I was..

Dante: I'm sorry to hear that.

Dante and Chris began to pat Spider-Man on the back.

Spider-Man: NOW WHO IS THIS MANEATER!

Spencer woke up from his sleep and accidentally shot out his bionic arm and hit Ryu in the back of the head.

Ryu: OUCH! SPENCER! THAT HURT!

Spencer: WELL SORRY, PRINCESS!

Hulk: HAHAHAHAHAHA.

Deadpool: BRUSH YOUR TEETH!

Hulk covered his mouth once more and Wolverine howled with laughter.

Iron Man: Maneater? Morrigan?

Morrigan: Shut up.

Arthur: Ohohohohoho.

Felicia: I don't understand?

Amaterasu: Just roll with it, Felicia.

Jason: Hmm! This is getting interesting..I'm going to take another from **Rider Paladin**!  
Jason: To Deadpool! "What's with you going "ewww, tentacles?" I thought you *LIKED* tentacles, at least when it's your good frenemy Cable armed with them."

Deadpool: Wait..how did you know I said that? Are our lives being documented by some sort of evil genius?

Trish: Good question...

Ryu: Wait..I don't get it..documented?

Iron Man: Shut up, Ryu.

Ryu: Why is everyone telling me to shut up?

Chun-Li: Because you need to!

Dante: Nah, he's fine.

Super Skrull: Ryu is just slower than the rest of us. Answer the question, Deadpool.

Deadpool: Well, Cable is my friend. He knew how to use the tentacles for the greater good! Not for slimy..pleasure..like in japanese anime..

Deadpool began to shudder.

Wolverine: Cable might have used them for...oily pleasure.

Deadpool: SHUT UP WOLVERINE. JUST SHUT UP!

Iron Man: Yep, oiling up Shard like a human gas tank..

Deadpool: I'LL CUT YOU, IRON MAN. DON'T TRY ME.

Deadpool began to sob.

Hulk: Ah, sweet oil tentacles. Penetrating..

Deadpool: B-BRUSH YOUR TEETH!

Wolverine: Shoving it up-

Deadpool: -DON'T SAY IT!

Wesker: The booty?

Wolverine: Yes. The booty.

Deadpool: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Wesker: Like a screwdriver?

Doctor Doom's eyes went wide as he screamed in his mind.

Wesker: HAHAHAHAHA.

Jason: o_O

Trish: We are tooooo weird.

Chun: We aren't, THEY are.

Jason: Hahaha...wow..okay next question is from **DelinquentDuo** for Felicia.  
Jason: "Is it true that cats can lick ANY part of their body?"

Felicia: ...

All of the men in the group listened very closely, not saying a word.

Trish: You don't have to answer that Felicia.

Iron Man: Don't listen to Trish, yes you do!

Wolverine: Shaddup, Tony!

Dante: You're the main one listening Wolverine!

Wolverine: Shaddup, Dante!

Felicia paused. Her face turning slightly red. She looked at Amaterasu, the crowd, and then at Spider-Man, who was completely silent.

Felicia: It..it's true.

Iron Man was officially horny. Wolverine's mouth dropped completely. Deadpool just stared into space. Ryu was wondering where all he could lick.

Magneto: That was very foolish of you to answer that question. But, bold nonetheless.

Modok: Indeed.

Super Skrull: Felicia..

Felicia got all teary eyed. She looked at Spider-Man once more before she began to bawl.

Wolverine glanced at Felicia and growled.

Wolverine: Hey, bub, next question.

Jason: Right! I'll take another from **DelinquentDuo**! For Ryu!  
Jason: "How can you appear in so many videogames if you don't even know what a TV is?"

Ryu was braindead. His mind was like a telephone answering machine. Leave a message after the beep.

Dante sighed. Everyone on the stage did the same.

Ryu: I just..do what people...tell me...to do. Capcom helps me.

Ryu looked around. The whole stage was quiet. Ryu twiddled with his thumbs and he looked down.

Jason patted his cards on the table and smiled at the camera.

Skrull: Seems like Ryu cracks under pressure..

Amaterasu: Yeah.

Jason: Oooookay. Moving on! Let's take another from **Eggmiester**! For Spider-Man!  
Jason: "If you could create art using web, what would you make?"

Spider-Man: I would make the Statue of Liberty, for sure! That would be awesome!

Felicia: Ooooo! That would be totally cool, Peter!

Iron Man: Peter..I look forward to that one day.

Wolverine: Me too.

Spider-Man: Alright! Sure! I got it! Just wait!

Amaterasu: Would be really interesting. How would you do it?

Spider-Man: Maybe if I master my powers a little more..it would be possible.

Morrigan: You haven't mastered your powers?

Spider-Man: No way. I haven't even began to TAP my potential yet. Or so I've heard.

Arthur: I wish you the best of luck then, my spider friend!

Spider-Man: Thanks!

Jason: OKAY! Next question is for The Hulk! From **Persiana13**!  
Jason: "How does it feel to have your cousin as part of the game?"

Hulk: Well..it feels rather odd, Hulk thinks. We are both strong combatants..and I have a feeling she's going to be all in my case..all the time!

Deadpool: Well, she is a lawyer! So of course she's gonna be in your case!

Iron Man: That pun was just bad...

Spider-Man: And you say MY jokes are awful!

Iron Man: They are...

Wolverine: I agree.

Hulk: But yeah, I don't mind. I'm just a bit paranoid is all. Always nice to have family close by.

Jason: Good answer. Next! To Chris and Wesker! From **DrakenSilver**!  
Jason: "Will there be any yaoi with you two coming up?"

Wesker was drinking out of his water bottle when this question was asked and he immediately spat it out, all over MODOK. His eyes narrowed and he glared at Chris.

Chris: Yaoi? What's that?

Iron Man: I'm not sure...

Viewtiful Joe: Some type of romance thing...among men. I think?

Magneto: That is just wrong...

Morrigan: That's sexy.

Trish: I..somewhat agree.

Dante: Woah...woah woah woah! Romance among men?

Chun: Yes..you idiots. It's a special type, mainly used in fanfiction and anime.

Deadpool: Fanfiction? WTF

X-23: I'm totally confused right now.

Chris: I DO NOT AND WILL NOT HAVE A ROMANCE WITH WESKER!

Wesker: I TOTALLY CONCUR. I WOULD CHOP MY TONGUE OFF WITH A SHOVEL BEFORE I EVEN DARED TO HAVE A THING WITH THAT PILE OF CRAP!

The Hulk was reading his anime manual, trying to find a word for all of this.

Hulk: Awww! These two are tsunderes for each other!

Spider-Man: Tsundere? Oh my god..this question is going to cause so much chaos..

Arthur: I must use the restroom!

Super Skrull: WESKER AND CHRIS, SITTING IN A TREEEEEE!

Wesker: K-I-L-L-I-N-G YOU!

Ryu: What did he just spell? Cornflakes?

Trish facepalmed and Chun slapped the mess out of Ryu.

Spencer's bionic arm once again extended accidentally and it ended up smacking Deadpool.

Deadpool: SPENCER!

Spencer: Sorry, mate!

Wolverine: Well if Wesker and Chris are..tsundairies, then Doom and Skrull are the same thing!

Doom: I BEG YOUR PARDON!

Skrull: Wolverine that is a terrible joke!

X-23: Aww! He's blushing!

Amaterasu: It's okay Skrull. You know it be true.

Arthur: Excuse me! I REALLY must to use the bathroom!

Wesker: CHRIS!

Chris: WESKER!

Complete chaos was overwhelming the stage. The audience didn't know who to watch..everywhere they turned there was suspense.

Iron Man: DANTE AND X-23 FEEL THE SAME WAY FOR EACH OTHER!

Dante: IRON MAN, IMMA KILL YOU.

Spider-Man laughed his ass off.

Magneto: This is ridiculous! All of you are pathetic!

Modok: Says the guy who couldn't pay his electric bill!

Magneto: MODOK, SHUT THE FUCK UP.

Modok: MAKE ME!

Magneto: YOU FOOL! YOU DARE PISS OFF THE MASTER OF MAGNET?

Modok: I'll piss ON you instead!

Spencer: YOU'RE A GIANT HEAD. YOU DON'T HAVE A PENIS!

Modok: SAYS YOU!

X-23: Dante..why are you getting so mad at Tony?

Dante: BECAUSE HE...HE...

X-23: Heeeeee...?

Dante: He..HE! He...IS...WEARING MY BOXERS!

Iron Man: YOU DIRTY LIAR!

Dante: I'M NOT LYING! YOU'RE WEARING MY TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES BOXERS AND YOU KNOW IT, YOU SCHEMING STEALER!

Iron Man: I AM WEARING RUGRAT BOXERS!

Dante: YOU WIPE THAT SMUG GRIN OFF YOUR FACE!

Wesker: I HATE YOU CHRIS!

Chris: BACK AT YOU WESKER!

Chris drew his pistol and shoved it in Wesker's face.

Wesker: PULL THE TRIGGER CHRIS!

Chris: No! Because that's what you want! I'm going to keep my gun in your face to raise suspense and intimidate the crowd! NOW LOOK SCARED WESKER!

Wesker: OH I'M SO TERRIFED! MY SARCASM WILL RAPE YOUR MIND!

Chris: I'LL RAPE YOU WITH MY FIST!

Felicia screamed.

Wolverine: WE HAVE CHILDREN IN HERE, BUB!

Hulk: INDEED!

Ryu: Why is everyone screaming?

Trish: BECAUSE WE CAN, RYU!

Viewtiful Joe: SCRRRREEEEAAAAMMMMMMMM!

Deadpool: I won't scream, because that's what everyone expects me to do.

Deadpool shifted his head toward the camera and gave a thumbs-up and a wink.

Dante: IRON MAN!

Spider-Man: Hey guys...what's wrong with Arthur?

Arthur was trying his hardest to get out of his armor but to no avail. He was sweating and his face was turning red.

Morrigan: I'll help you..mmmmm.

Arthur tried to scurry away from Morrigan but he ended up tripping and falling. His armor completely shattered and he stood. He looked around and everyone laughed at him in his boxers. Dante looked, and gasped. Arthur was wearing his TMNT boxers.

Iron Man: I TOLD YOU!

Dante: ARRRRTHURRRRR!

Arthur: I apologize, demon hunter! But I must, like you young kids call it, must take the leak!

Arthur dashed off of the stage and into the restroom nearby.

Morrigan: Awww..

Chun: Maybe next time.

Amaterasu: What a funky man...

Felicia: He's hilarious!

Spider-Man: I agree with ya!

Felicia looked up and grinned at the web-slinger. He glanced down at her, and gave her a high-five.

X-23: Dante...I think you owe Tony an apology. Hehehe.

Dante's face drooped and he slowly glanced at beaming Tony Stark. His eye twitched and his stomach growled.

Iron Man: I'm waaaaiting.

Dante: I...I...

X-23: C'mon Dante..you can do it!

Dante: I...

His eye twitched to almost neck-breaking speeds. X-23 began to talk to Dante as if he was a little baby, trying to speak for the first time.

X-23: Awwwwww! Is wittle Dante speechwess!

Dante's face began to turn purple and the audience all "Awwwwww'd".

Iron Man: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Spider-Man: Wow..this is just way too funny.

Wolverine: I should record this.

Deadpool: Waaaay ahead of you.

Deadpool had his camera out, recording it all with Viewtiful Joe.

Thor was sound asleep in his chair. His ordeal with the Resistance had made him weary. He and Captain America slept side-by-side, completely oblivious to the chaos.

Magneto: MODOK! YOU FOOL!

Modok: You're the fool!

Spider-Man: Maggie! SHUT UP!

Doom: SKRULL, I WILL OBLITERATE YOU! THERE IS NO WAY I WILL EVER HAVE FEELINGS FOR YOU!

Skrull: THANK YOU JESUS!

Deadpool: IT'S JEEBUS!

Ryu jumped up and Shoryuken'd Spencer for no apparent reason. Spencer recovered immediately and wiped his chin.

Spencer: What the hell, man!

Ryu: EVERYONE SHOUTING HAS MY BLOOD BOILING! LET'S FIGHT!

Spencer: Hey Ryu! LOOK! A SPIDER BEHIND YOU!

Ryu immediately spun around and swatted behind him, smacking Chun-Li numerous times. Ryu was unaware, and as soon as he opened his eyes he was flying 10 feet into a wall.  
Chun stared at Spencer as he just whistled, walking towards the restroom to check on Arthur.

Jason: Soo...uhh...I guess..there won't be any romance between Wesker and Chris?

Wesker & Chris: NO!

Jason: Skrull and Doom?

Skrull & Doom: NO!

Jason: Dante and X-23?

Dante: ...

X-23: ...

Iron Man: YES!

Dante: I just...we're just good friends! Alright!

X-23: Dante...

Wolverine began to whisper to the Hulk.

Wolverine: I swear I know that girl from somewhere...

Hulk: Hmm..an acquaintance? Perhaps?

Wolverine: Maybe...

Deadpool: Hey, Joe...look at Magneto!

Joe: What? O_O

Magneto had forced MODOK into submission with his powers, and was shooting his middle finger to everyone in the audience who boo'd him.

Jason: Wow..this has been one helluva night..and we're NOWHERE finished yet...well..tune in for the 2nd quarter of the night. This is getting very..very interesting to say the least...

Deadpool: BYE VIEWERS! SEE YOU NEXT TIME!

Jason: Shut up Deadpool...oh yes! There is a question for me! From...**Persiana13**!  
"Will Ken be appearing as well? I did not see him on the interviews, and was just wondering."

Jason: Well, Ken will be appearing occasionally. He isn't a permenant cast member, but he will be making more cameos in a couple of chapters in the future.

_Also: Thanks for the questions guys! I still have a LOT more to answer, so stick around! PLEASE DON'T FORGET ABOUT ME. I KNOW IT TAKES ME FOREVER TO UPDATE AND I APOLOGIZE FOR THAT! I TRULY DO APOLOGIZE!_

_SEEEEE YAAAAAAAA!_


	8. Psychotic Inquiry

8. Psychotic Inquiry

Annnnnnd back from the commercial break, we hand it back over to JASON for more questions for the MVC3 cast! SO WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, HERE'S THE MAN HIMSELF, JJJAAAASSSSSOOOOONNNNNNN!

Jason: Weeeeelcome back my good viewers. We return to the..chaos that just unravled on the stage! After some questions..the cast of MvC3 had some mixed reactions to say the least. Let's hope this session will be just as chaotic, because that crap was just too funny.

Jason sipped his coffee and looked at the cast. The audience cheered and the cameramen shifted to the guests.

Jason: You okay Wesker?

Wesker had his arms folded and sat with a gigantic frown on his face. He spoke dryly.

Wesker: No.

Jason: Ooo..someone's grumpy. ANYWAAAAYS, let's get right to the questions shall we!

The audience were going wild in their seats. (Wait..that sounds kinda funny now that I type that O_O)

Jason: Alright, next question is for Spider-Man! From **Zero-Nightmare**!  
Jason: "What would you do if Venom or Carnage were made part of the cast?"

Spider-Man shook his head and sighed.

Spider-Man: I think I would lose my mind. Eddie is..well..he's weird. And Kassidy, holy crap, he's completely insane. I would much rather have Eddie. I'd just have to keep my eyes peeled..wouldn't want his symbiote to have a change of heart and take over my suit overnight. No way...

Iron Man: I remember that.

Wolverine: As do I.

Wesker: Symbiote? Hmm..interesting...

Magneto: Not really.

Wesker: Shut up..*laughs* Maggie.

Wesker's chuckles turned into fits of hysterical laughter at the master of magnet. Magneto's eyebrow twitched and his mouth turned into an angry grimace.  
Modok saw the look on his face and began to laugh as well.

Jason: Haha, let's take another question from **Zero-Nightmare**. To Chris!  
Jason: "Are you afraid that Jill's gonna be in the game?"

Chris: I AM VERY AFRAID.

Wesker: Oh no..that bimbo is in this game too? How unfortunate. I guess I'll just have to put her in her place. AGAIN. Just like in Resident Evil 5. *he pointed at his own chest* Right...Chris?

Wesker looked at Chris and smirked. Chris looked back and balled his fists up. He punched the floor as hard as he could and pointed ferociously at Wesker. Spencer looked around, shocked.

Spencer: I don't have a mansion...

Chris: Wesker, I swear. You shut your mouth, or I will shut it for you. Just like in Resident Evil 5.

Wesker: Chris. You are so naive.

Chris: And you're a bitch.

The audience Oooo'd at the insult. They pointed at Wesker and laughed at him. The tension was rising..and the two were about to really get into it.

Wesker: Such words are meaningless to me, Chris. I have powers beyond your imagination you miserable pile of trash. I could have killed you, right on the spot if I wanted, but I decided to give you a chance. To let your heroic antics go to your head, so you could actually feel good about yourself, like you actually accomplished something for once in your pathetic, mistake of a life.

Chris: And yet you were still defeated. I kicked your ass Wesker. Despite all of the transforming and growth you went through, me and Sheva arose victorious. Something you've never had the experience of feeling, am I right? Because you're a failure Wesker. The T-virus, Umbrella, Uroboros, Tricell...all a failure. How does it feel, Wesker?

Wesker groaned and gritted his teeth. His fists clenched, and his eyes burned in fury.

Chris: But yes, I'm afraid. She's going to monitor my every move..lecturing me when I make mistakes..I'm afraid Zero-Nightmare. I am afraid.

Jason: Well, let's go to the next question before Wesker explodes, shall we? Next question is from **Sony Ninja**! For Chun-Li and Thor!  
Jason: Thor. "How does it feel to be getting your own movie this year?"  
Jason: Chun-Li. "What do you see in Ryu, the guy's a moron."

Ryu: More on? More on what?

Everybody facepalmed as usual.

Thor: I feel absolutely wonderful about this film. I begin filming RIGHT after MvC3, I do believe. By Asgard, it will be a smash hit. I can promise you all that.

Spider-Man: Won't be better than my movies!

Iron Man: Or my movie!

Hulk: I had a pretty good one.

Wolverine: So did I.

Spider-Man: Uhh guys..I had THREE movies.

Wolverine: I had FOUR. What's your point?

Spider-Man: ...Logan..you suck.

Wolverine: Hahahaha. You got a ways to go before you beat me, kid.

Thor: My movie will kick all of your movie's kesters! By the power of Mjolnir! I will rise victorious!

Arthur: I agree my friend!

Thor: FOR ASGARD!

Arthur: FOR ASGARD!

Thor & Arthur: HUZZAH!

They fist pumped in the air and lightning struck outside. The audience cheered in delight. Dante's mouth dropped.

Dante: Wow..that was..something.

Thor: Sir Arthur, you should play in this film with me! I will give you a supporting role!

Arthur: I wish I could my friend, but..we can't exist in the same universe outside of video games and comic books!

Thor: This is true. This is saddening. Thou saddened.

Arthur: Thou saddened indeed.

Magneto: Will you two shut the fuck up?

Thor's eyes burned in intense anger. Arthur turned around and frowned.

Thor: You dare disturb the bond of two comrades?

Arthur: We will mutilate you beyond belief, you fake mutant.

Magneto eyes widened.

Deadpool: Oh no he didn't!

Viewtiful Joe: OH YES HE DID!

Magneto: I will annihilate the both of you!

Thor and Arthur arose from their chairs. Magneto levitated from his. They squared off in the center of the stage.

Jason: Uhh..Chun-Li? Care to answer yours?

Chun-Li: Well-

Immediately when Chun-Li began to speak, Magneto went soaring over her head and into a nearby wall, with Arthur and Thor pursuing him.

Chun-Li: Ryu is..well..he's...

Ryu sat in his seat, looking off into space with a smile on his face. Wonder what he was thinking about?

Chun-Li: He's...

Spencer: Stupid?

Chun-Li: Yes, but...

Iron Man: Mentally ill?

Chun-Li: Well sorta, but...

Hulk: Mind-numbingly slow?

Chun-Li: Well when you put it like that...

Wolverine: The guy is a Slowbro. And I'm not talking about the Pokemon.

Doom: Ryu tries his best though...even though his best is an IQ of 10.

Spider-Man: He seems cool to me, he loves some tennisballs!

Felicia: Ryu is very dedicated to his discipline as well!

Chun-Li: That's it! That's what I see in him! The determination in his eyes! He wants to challenge stronger opponents and get better! And I just think..he needs someone along for the ride. To help him out..with things..he isn't so..familiar with..

Hulk: Like reality?

Chun-Li: Well...

Skrull: HAHAHAHAHAHA.

Dante: Hey, Green Bean! Stop insulting him, seriously. How can you insult him when you talk in 3rd person half the time!

Hulk: The Hulk is amused! And what are you going to do about it, white haired pretty boy?

Dante: I'll kick your ass, Mr. Choloroplast.

Deadpool: HEY. THAT RHYMED!

X-23: Dante..no..don't do this..

Felicia: She's right..don't Dante...

Hulk grinned and clapped.

Hulk: Your little girlfriend saved you from an incredible beatdown. Thank her. Ryu is an idiot. Plain and simple. He doesn't even know I'm talking about him as we speak! I'm speaking Spanish to him at the moment! Watch!

Hulk got up and looked in Ryu's face and smiled.

Hulk: Hey, Ryu! You're dumb! Dur hur hur hur!

Wolverine fell out of his seat laughing and so did Iron Man.

Morrigan: Oh my god...

Dante sighed along with Chris while The Hulk waved in Ryu's face.

Hulk: Anyone home?

Ryu's eyebrows furrowed and his eyes narrowed. He understood it all completely and he didn't appreciate the Hulk trying to embarrass him on national TV.

Ryu: Gran error, el hombre verde. (Huge mistake, green man)

Hulk reeled back in surprise. His eyes widened like dinnerplates. He scratched his head and looked at Wolverine, before glancing back at Ryu. Wolverine shrugged.  
Ryu stood, ran up to the Incrdible Hulk, and Shoryuken'd him in front of millions of viewers. The audience took numerous pictures as the Hulk soared high into the sky, before landing near the crowd, creating a giant crater. Magneto wasn't far behind him, as Thor struck him with his mighty Mjolnir. Magneto went hurtling into the air, and Arthur threw numerous lances at him which pelted him above.

Magneto fell out of the sky like a damaged plane and landed right next to the Hulk. The audience cheered as the brawl satisfied them.

Dante: YEEEAAAAHHH! WAY TO GO, RYU!

Trish: Impressive.

X-23: I agree!

Trish glared at the giddy girl and swung her hair back before combing it. Morrigan eyed Trish and nudged her with her boot.

Morrigan: You don't like her, do you?

Trish: Psh. Not really. I don't get what Dante sees in her.

Morrigan: Well, nobody got what Chun-Li saw in Ryu. This might be a similar story. Everyone has different taste.

Trish: Except you, right? You have a taste for everything.

Morrigan: Mmm..right. Including you.

Morrigan began to run her hands across Trish's chest before taking them and going through her hair.

Trish: Didn't know you swung that way.

Morrigan: Hell yeah.

Trish: Too bad I'm not interested.

Morrigan: You will be.

Trish: Oh really? We'll see.

Morrigan: Mmm..yes we will.

Felicia was flabbergasted at the scene. She wasn't the only one. Iron Man, Spider-Man, Spencer, and Amaterasu were completely awestruck at what just happened between the two seductresses.

Iron Man: I wouldn't mind being in the middle of that two-piece combo..

Spencer: Extra fries...

Iron Man and Spencer high five'd each other.

Spider-Man: Losers. Haha.

Felicia: Peter..why are you not interested?

Spider-Man: Neither one are my type.

Felicia: Oh..okay.

Felicia looked at Spider-Man, who was too busy gazing at the audience. The web-slinger stood, nodded at Felicia, and walked to the restroom.

Amaterasu: You like him!

Felicia: I DO NOT!

Amaterasu: Yeah huh!

Felicia: NOOOOOOOOOO!

Jason: Next question? Yes? No? Let's do it! From **SonyNinja** to The SuperSkrull!  
Jason: "Do you use invisibility to peep on the girls in the house?"

All of the women turned and glared at Super Skrull. They cleared their throats and awaited an answer from the alien.

Super Skrull: Well...I...

They glared daggers into Super Skrull. He began to sweat as his words went from straightforward into jumbled pieces of obscurity.

Trish: We're waiting. Skrull.

Super Skrull: I just...think that...well..I..

Felicia: Please say no, Mr. Skrull...

Super Skrull looked at Felicia and back at the other women. He wiped his face with his hands as the audience grew more quiet and interested.

Chun-Li: Answer the question.

She cracked her knuckles while Morrigan stretched, X-23 extracted her claws, and Trish drew her blade.

Super Skrull: NO! I don't! Seriously!

Modok: THAT'S A LIE!

Wesker: You're blatantly lying.

Doom: You're officially fucked, Skrull.

Wolverine: Bad..bad..bad choice.

Spencer: You're screwed, buddy.

Skrull: Spencer! How can you say that when you were with me once!

Spencer's jaw dropped. The glares turned to him and he stood up, offended.

Spencer: Bathroom break!

He sprinted to the restroom, leaving Skrull to his beating. Spider-Man had just came back and sat back down.

Spider-Man: What's his problem?

He looked at the women glaring at Skrull and shook his head.

Chun: You're dead Skrull. Sooooo dead.

The women stood from their seats and surrounded the galactic warrior. He whimpered as he covered his face. He tried to use his powers, but he couldn't concentrate and he failed. Repeatedly. The women proceeded to kick his ass while Spider-Man took pictures and Deadpool recorded the whole thing.

Spencer was NOT coming back for a while.

Jason: Well..that's a sight to see. HAHAHAHAHA enjoy the pain, Super Skrull. Sorry mate. Next question! For Deadpool and Dante, from **Persiana13**!  
Jason: "Which one of you is better in a fight?"

Dante glanced at Deadpool and Deadpool returned it. Dante smirked.

Dante & Deadpool: I am!

Wolverine: Heh heh heh, here we go. Another brawl!

Iron Man: Indeed!

Dante: Everyone knows, I'm the best, Deadpool. You can't stop me. I have a literal electric guitar, Pandora's box itself, ice nunchucks, two blades of different elements, gauntlets that would make the entire world tremble...and I can turn into the Devil. What do you got?

Deadpool: Have you seen how you look in your next game?

The audience immediately burst out laughing at Deadpool's retort. In a weird sort of way, he had won the argument instantly. Dante sat there, quiet for little bit.

Dante: Yeah, well, have you seen how YOU look without your mask?

Deadpool: The mask is a trademark, I don't need to take it off.

Dante: Because you're scared of how people will react.

Deadpool: Everyone has seen my face once. No need to see it again.

Dante: Anyways, I'm better. I'm a better fighter, a better gunman, and better swordsman.

Deadpool: We'll see Dante. If it barks like a dog, runs like a sheep, bites like a turtle, and screams like a duck, it's probably a squirrel.

Dante: That made no sense at all!

Deadpool: Can you balance plates on your fingers while eating a jelly donut in the middle of a highway while juggling golf balls with your toes!

Dante: DEADPOOL! Seriously! What the hell man!

Deadpool: Have you ever been so bored in class, you think up another language? Do you make stories in your mind about a swedish diabetic that can't swim? I DO, AND I WON 15 DOLLARS FOR THAT ESSAY!

The crowd was totally confused as to what was going on. Deadpool had lost it. His mind was going off like fireworks.

Jason: NEXT QUESTION BEFORE DEADPOOL DRIVES ME INSANE. To Morrigan! From **Rider Paladin**!  
Jason: "Do you ever get tired of your attempts at seduction being completely rejected? (And Iron Man doesn't count because Iron Man will sleep with anything on two legs so long as it's female and has boobs)"

Iron Man: HEY! THAT IS...well...you're right. Hahahahaha.

Morrigan had just got done beating the shit out of Super Skrull for no reason. What did she care if he was spying on her?

Morrigan: Well I never! I don't ALWAYS get rejected...I had Sir Arthur within my grasp. Chris too!

Arthur & Chris: No.

Morrigan: UGH! When can I find a real man or women that will fulfill my desires! No one wants to experience eternal bliss!

Spider-Man: That's right.

Wesker: Eternal bliss is the worst state of mind. Sure, you feel pleasure forever, but you have no life to live. You're a sack of lifeless flesh.

Morrigan: Mmmm...so?

Modok: Oh wow...

Morrigan: Besides, I bet I could get any member of the audience if I wanted.

The audience gasped and huddled around each other, terrified. The entire audience screamed, "NOOOOO!". Morrigan pouted in her seat and crossed her arms.

Jason: Next is from **Persiana13** to Thor and Chris!  
Jason: Chris. "Will there be an on set romance between you and Jill?"  
Jason: Thor. "Who are you looking to fighting the most?"

Chris: ...

Wesker: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Chris: Shut up Wesker.

Modok: Who the hell is Jill?

Wesker: Chris' bimbo girlfriend.

Doom: Chris! Where is she? Shouldn't she be here with you?

Chris: She's not my girlfriend.

Spider-Man: Yeaaahhh she is. Awwww Chris! Don't be a tsundere!

Dante: Not this crap again!

Viewtiful Joe: I wish Sylvia was here! I'm not afraid to admit she's MY girlfriend!

Deadpool: Women are overrated!

The women glared at Deadpool just like they did Skrull. Deadpool looked at the ceiling and back at the audience.

Deadpool: Who said that? I'll kick his ass!

Felicia: Chris, it's okay to admit it! I know Jill feels the same way about you!

Chris: Psh. Yeah..sure! Anyway...we'll see. She's supposed to be here soon, so..we'll see.

Wolverine: Hahahahaha should be interestin' bub.

Thor: I'm looking forward to fighting The Hulk the most. He seems to be a very worthy opponent, and will test my stamina. He'll be a strong opponent indeed.

Hulk had just recovered from the mighty punch Ryu gave him. He stood, walked back to his seat and gave Thor a thumbs-up. Thor smiled and looked at his mighty hammer.

Jason: Well, it's time for a little break! Magneto is still unconcious..but while we wait for him..Ono told me to go ahead and bring out the newest challengers to the show!

Dante: WHAT!

Iron Man: NO WAY?

Chris: Are you serious?

Jason: That's right! First up, coming all the way from 20XX, it's the red, blonde haired maverick-hunting reploid, _ZERO_!

.com/watch?v=naBcHdE3jZs

Zero walked out onto the stage as the crowd cheered their throats out. Zero waved at the crowd and shook Jason's hand. He sat in the new seat beside Spider-Man and dapped him.

Jason: How are you Zero? Care to introduce yourself?

Zero: I'm Zero. Best friend of X. I'm a maverick hunter, had lots of good games, and I'm in Marvel vs. Capcom 3. Looking to be a really good game, make sure you go out and buy it!

Jason: Very good. Next up, is the green cousin of The Incredible Hulk, _She-Hulk_! Along with two other guests! The crimson haired spy, _C. Viper_! And the master of Mother Nature,_ STORM_!

A very tall, slender, green woman walked on the stage with very sleek hair. She sat beside her cousin and they hugged instantly. C. Viper sat beside Ryu and Chun-Li as they gave each other a high-five. (Coming from the same game)

Storm levitated onto the stage with them as she sat beside Wolverine. They nodded at each other.

Captain America: Nice to have you Ororo.

Storm: I appreciate it, Steve.

Wolverine: Yeah, nice to have ya. I didn't think you'd make it.

Storm: Logan, I was one of the best in Marvel vs. Capcom 2. Capcom made the wise decision.

Wolverine: Hahahaha I guess so.

X-23 looked at the newcomers and then leaned over to whisper in Spider-Man's ear.

X-23: Who's the silver haired woman? I've seen her before!

Spider-Man: That's Storm! If there was ever someone that could take the title of Mother Nature, it's her.

X-23: Ohhhhhhh. Is she an X-Man?

Spider-Man: Yep! A great one at that. She's helped us out numerous times and is one of the nicest, wisest people around.

X-23: Ohhhh! Gotcha! Well, what about Wolverine? I know he's an X-Man..but..does he have some sort of connection to me? I mean..we both have claws! Of adamantium!

Spider-Man: ...Uhh...well...

As Spider-Man clumsily avoided the question, Spencer had come back from the restroom and he sat FAR away from the rest of the group. He sat quietly, hoping the women wouldn't notice. So far, he was successful.

Jason: Sooooo! She-Hulk! How ya feeling!

She-Hulk: I feel great, Jason! I was in the middle of a case, but as soon as I got the call, I was on my way! I don't know what happened to my client..he's probably guilty. There was no way I could have proven him innocent anyway! Hahahaha. Oops...

Jason: That is just splendid! I'm never hiring you! Hahahahaha.

She-Hulk glared at Jason as he coughed and switched his gaze to .

Jason: C. Viper! How ya doin?

C. Viper: I'm fine. Feels weird to come from Street Fighter IV into this. I belong here more than I do there.

Ryu: Not me!

Chun-Li: I'm good in both actually. Haha.

C. Viper: So yeah, I'm alright.

Jason: Any word of advice for your opponents?

C. Viper: I won't take it easy on any of you. I have a mission to accomplish and if you tick me off, I will destroy you.

Deadpool: Serious. I don't like her...

Viewtiful Joe: Hey, do you have a daughter?

C. Viper: I do! Have you seen her! Isn't she just adorable?

Viewtiful Joe: I saw some guy holding her one day..your husband?

C. Viper: I'm not married. That was a friend. Chuck Greene.

Dante: How do you fight, C. Viper? Like..you got any weapons?

C. Viper: These gloves generate electricity, I can cause seismo bursts, and I can propell myself at high speeds to annihilate opponents. Not to mention I have flame kicks.

Spider-Man: Holy crap...that's some mutant shit right there!

Jason: Awesome you guys, great to have you all! Jill and Shuma-Gorath will be arriving shortly, plus three more members arriving after them! But the show will be over so they'll probably meet you at the house. Couple more questions!  
Jason: From **Eggmiester**! To Deadpool! "Favorite anything, ever, for all time?"

Deadpool: CHIMICHANGAS!

The crowd remained silently, as if waiting for some specific punchline. But little did they know, Deadpool was serious..and that was his final answer.

Arthur: Uhhh...

Iron Man: Uhh...

Dante: Uhhh...

Doom: Uhhh...

Wesker: Screwdrivers...

Doom shuddered in his seat as Magneto laughed at him.

Morrigan: Screwdrivers?

Modok: Long story.

She-Hulk: Chimichangas?

Deadpoo: I ALSO LOVE CUTTIN-TIME! AND PINEAPPLES! AND JUSTIN BIEBER!

Chris & Wesker: JUSTIN BIEBER? YOU MUST DIE.

Chris: WESKER!

Wesker: CHRRRIIIIIISSSSSSS!

Chris: We can't agree!

Wesker: It's...it's impoooossssiiiibblllleeeeeee!

Wesker plopped to the ground in disgust and began to roll around in circles. Chris slammed his head on Jason's table repeatedly.

Deadpool: ...What?

X-23: They don't like Justin Bieber.

Iron Man: No one likes him. Except Deadpool.

Arthur: Justin Bieber? Who is this? Some infernal demon?

Trish: Close enough.

Jason: ENOUGH ENOUGH ENOUGH. No Justin Bieber hate here! Unless you want me to get sued! Hahahaha. Next! A question from **Rider Paladin** to Spencer!  
Jason: "What's the deal with you dissing Spider-Man's swinging when you confront him? Nobody swings better than Spider-Man, you jerk!"

Everyone turned and faced Spencer. The women hadn't even noticed he came back. He began to sweat and studder.

Spider-Man: YEAH! I'm the web-slinger! I'm the best swinger!

Spencer: I...well...my games...revolve around swinging..and I just...

The woman began to stand and walk toward him. Even the newcomers joined the standing women.

She-Hulk: We heard what was going on, Spencer. We were watching.

C. Viper: So, SO not cool.

Storm: Disrespectful. You PEEPING TOM!

Trish: PEEPING SPENCER!

They charged him immediately as Spencer got up and sprinted to the restroom. They didn't care. They followed him inside and were going to give him the beating of a lifetime. Skrull was still on the floor dazed from his, but he was happy Spencer got what he deserved.

Jason: HAHAHAHAHAHA. ONE more! Next question is from **Zero-Nightmare and Eggmiester**! I decided to combine the questions since they were close to the same! For Dante!  
Jason: "Would you mind if Nero, your brother or father were added?"

Dante: My father? Hell no. If would be unfair. He would totally rape everything. Not trying to brag. Vergil...is weird..I wouldn't mind, but I wouldn't totally agree. I think there are more deserving people than him. After all, he's just got a large fanbase. He wouldn't provide anything new that I can't do. And Nero? Nero would be cool with his Devil Arm. That would be some pretty sweet combos and attacks. I'd like to see him more than the other two. Nero has some promise.

X-23 and Morrigan had come back from beating Spencer.

X-23: Who's your dad Dante?

Dante: Sparda. One of the most powerful beings that has ever existed.

Thor: Indeed. I have clashed with Sparda on numerous occasions to stop his anger.

Dante: Seriously?

Thor: Yes. I was called to prevent his uproar, and I barely succeeded every time.

Dante: That's awesome. Yeah, dad is a pretty destructive guy. For an old-timer. I wish you could've got to meet him...in his...gentler mood, so to speak.

X-23: Awww, I'd love to meet your dad!

Iron Man: After all, you'd need his approval to get married.

Ryu: Marriage? Dante, you never told me you were married!

Dante: NO RYU, I'M NOT. IRON MAN'S JUST BEING A DOUCHE!

Arthur: A..a what?

Chris had stopped slamming his head on the desk for a second.

Chris: A douche. You know...a douche!

Immediately after, he began to slam his head on it some more.

Captain America: Pardon me? I've never heard such a term!

Deadpool: I know what they are...hahahahahaha. You so classy, Dante.

Viewtiful Joe: Hahahaha, douche...

The audience burst into laughter immediately. Jason was crying in his seat from laughing so hard at Arthur and Ryu's confused faces.

Hulk: Wait...is a docuhe...

Wolverine: Like..as in..douchebags?

Magneto: Yes! You immature baffoons!

Doom: Magneto has a douche!

Zero: WTF

Magneto: I DO NOT! DOCTOR DOOM. I WILL BREAK YOUR ARMOR WITH MY POWER!

Wesker was still rolling around on the floor, laughing hysterically at how he had agreed with Chris Redfield. Captain America was spazzing out because he hadn't had a glass of milk for 2 hours. Thor was arguing with Iron Man over what exactly a douche was. Spider-Man, Deadpool, and Viewtiful Joe were laughing at the whole thing. Wolverine and Hulk were chatting over what they were gonna do after the show was over.

Chris was still slamming his head on the desk. Skrull was still knocked out. Arthur, Ryu, Zero, and Dante were listening to X-23 and Morrigan explaining the term "douche". Spencer was getting his ass kicked still. Modok held Magneto back from brawling with Doom.

It was complete chaos on the stage once again. Jason looked at the chaos and smiled. He turned to the cameraman and grinned.

Jason: We'll be right back folks.

As the cameraman stopped rolling, Jason heard a knock on the door outside of the set. He walked over to the door and opened it. A massive figure stood before him and his fiery dialect shook the floor.

Jason: Yes?

?: I must stay with these idiots. I reluctantly join this pathetic talk-show.

Jason: Hey, watch your mouth Dormammu! Or I'll have your ass booted from this game!

Dormammu grumbled under his breath. He slowly walked on to the stage and the audience gasped at the massive sight. He laughed as he watched the chaos on the stage but also swore under his breath. He had to LIVE with this. And he was going to hate it. With a passion.

_Dormammu joins the cast._

**TO BE CONTINUED**.

No more questions guys. I know this chapter seems kind of rushed, but I have been through a lot lately and haven't had the time to finish this chapter. Plus, the game is coming out soon, so I have to squeeze out a couple more chapters before the release and add the final characters. The next chapter is going back to the house and the gang going through combat training, and literal BOOT CAMP to get in shape. I will try my hardest to make this next chapter the most hilarious one yet.  
So until then, thanks for the questions and reviews guys. I'm sorry it seems rushed!


	9. The Forest and the Bear

9. The Forest with the Bear

After all of the chaos at the media show interview, the crew finally made their way home after a good night's rest.  
Dormammu joined the cast..tensions were flaring..and Deadpool was giggling the whole time.

He played the video of Magneto getting his ass kicked over and over in the back of the limo. Magneto constantly heard his own scream and was growing agitated. He clenched his fists and gritted his teeth, trying to hold back the murderous intent within his soul.  
Ryu stared out the window glancing at the numerous signs and billboards that went by. Dante sat across from X-23 and occasionally glanced at her when she wasn't watching. Their gazes locked a couple of times, and each time they looked away at something else when they caught each other.

MODOK was eating a banana and chatting with Dr. Doom. Super-Skrull was nodding off beside Doom, slowly falling asleep again.

Hulk: HULK SO CRAMPED IN THIS CAR. HULK NEED ROOM! HULK IS HOT.

Chris: Calm down, Hulk. We'll be home in about 30 minutes.

Ken glanced at his rearview mirror and smiled at Chris. Ken Masters had no intent of going straight to the House. He had...something else planned.  
When Felicia noticed he hadn't taken a right on a certain road, she knew something was up.

Felicia: Mr. Masters! Where are we going!

Ken: We have some hitch-hikers we gotta pick up! Won't take but a second!

Zero: Hitch-hikers? Like who?

Chun: Probably some Playboy bunnies.

Ken: Hey hey hey! Don't judge me. Besides, you're wrong Chun-Li.

Iron Man: Then who?

Ken: You'll see soon enough.

Viewtiful Joe: Hey...where are we? Nothing is down this road except for Mayor Mike Haggar's Boot Camp!

As those words settled themselves in Dante's mind fireworks went off in his brain.

Dante: BOOT CAMP!

Spider-Man: You HAVE to be shitting me...Ken! TURN AROUND!

Ken: No can do. Orders from Mr. Ono. Sorry guys!

Morrigan: This will not be pretty, Ken.

Ken stopped the limo right outside of the camp and waved to his passangers.

Ken: I'm sorry guys...but..well..see ya!

Ken opened the glove compartment and pressed a button inside. The limo's top slowly retracted, and everyone's seat ejected into the sky.

Deadpool: Oh god, I feel just like an evil villain ejecting from his certain doom!

Dr. Doom: What about Doom?

Deadpool: Not you!

Hulk: HULK SO HIGH IN SKY. HULK NERVOUS!

Wolverine: YOU'RE NERVOUS! I'M THE ONE THAT'S NERVOUS! GRAAAHHHHHHH

Felicia: I can't fly!

Magneto: I can! Peace out! Magneto leapt from his seat and levitated for three seconds. He noticed that something was wrong, and he quickly plummeted to the grounds below. The power of flight was limited inside of this camp, and it showed.

Everyone in their seats ultimately crashed inside of the camp. It was a giant, wide area..with six wooden buildings off in the distance. There was a HUGE forest located to the far left of the buildings, past a giant desert-like area, and some large hills beyond that.

The sandy area was dry and neglecting. The wind blew sand everywhere like a small sandstorm. The air was somewhat heavy, and the gang knew they were in some deep booboo.

Dante looked around and sighed. Chris looked at Ryu and the two shook their heads.

Chris: Well..we're fucked.

Wesker: Ha, giving up so quickly are we, Chris?

Chris: No! It's just that well..we're fucked.

Wesker: Fair enough.

Skrull: What is this place? The sand feels like something off of Torrax IV.

Morrigan: Torrax IV?

Skrull: Yeah! It's the mirror planet of Mars in my homeworld.

Morrigan: Ohhhh, gotcha.

Trish: This is soooo not good for my hair...

Felicia: Yeah, I'm going to have a hard time getting this sand out.

X-23: Where are we supposed to go?

Wolverine: I guess to those log cabins up there? Maybe?

Deadpool: Log cabins...this is like something off of a horror movie. We're stranded in the desert..and the only means of habitat we have are...log cabins...

Viewtiful Joe: Oh goodness..shut up, Deadpool!

Dante: It's okay Joe. Be cool. We'll make it out of this. Let's go.

The gang trecked across the sandy land..up sand dunes..down sandhills. It was a tedious walk, but eventually they made it to the cabins.

Magneto: We can't fly here!

Iron Man: Duh. Kinda figured that ever since we got here.

Captain America: These are the cabins huh? Six of them.

Zero: I wonder whose are they?

She-Hulk: Probably Mike Haggar's..and his students'.

Spencer: Students?

She-Hulk: Yeah..the poor souls who were sent here to train with him. Never made it out alive.

Ryu: Legend says that you can still see the bones..buried and disguised by the sand.

Deadpool: I'm about to soil my costume.

Morrigan: Please do it somewhere else..

Wolverine: Hey, there are labels on the doors..

Storm: "Cabin 1...Cabin 2..Cabin 3..Cabin 4..Mess Hall/Meeting Room" and the "Warden's Cabin".

Zero: Guessing Haggar is the Warden..

?: That is correct.

Everyone whirled around and glanced at the giant man that stood before them. A shirtless, brown haired man with a nice moustache. He wore green pants and a leather strap around his torso. His hands were at his sides like some sort of man of justice. His name was Mike Haggar. And he was the Warden.

Mike: You all have been brought here, to train with me. Orders from Ono. I'm going to work your asses off for the next few days. Don't hate me if you die here.

Spencer: Training? For what?

Mike: For anything. Most importantly, to balance you for the next few characters that will be joining this game. Maybe for possible patches in the future. The world will never know.

Trish: What do we have to do?

Mike: Your objectives will come in due time. But for right now, I'm going to issue teams.

X-23: Teams?

Mike: Correct. There are four giant buildings here. I will put you into equal teams. Every team is assigned a cabin. See where I'm going with this?

Doom: Yes.

Mike: I will discuss more things with you at 5PM. In the Mess Hall. Your things will be in your cabin. Clothes, persoanl items and such.

Spider-Man: ...

Mike: So. Teams. Here we go.

Iron Man mumbled under his breath, knowing he would have a cabin with Doofpool and Dorky Joe. He began to swear under his breath and he crossed his fingers.

Mike held up one finger, signaling it was the list for Cabin 1.

Mike: Hulk, Amaterasu, Arthur, Joe, Zero, Jill, Dante, Hsien-Ko, and Wolverine.

He held up two fingers for Cabin 2.

Mike: Phoenix, Felicia, Spencer, Tron, Magneto, Iron Man, Modok, Taskmaster, and Storm.

He held up three fingers for Cabin 3.

Mike: Skrull, Doom, Captain America, Akuma, Wesker, Deadpool, Thor, Chun-Li, and Ryu!

He held up four fingers.

Mike: Spider-Man, Trish, Sentinel, Chris, Viper, She-Hulk, Morrigan, Dormammu, and X-23!

The gang all looked at each other and shook their heads.

Dante: NO!

Haggar: HAHAHAHAHAHA too bad. You're stuck in these groups until I change my mind. Go unpack and chill until I call you into the mess hall. Dismissed.

Haggar petted his moustache and eyed The Hulk. He smirked, turned around, and walked toward his own private cabin.

Chris: Hey, woah woah woah! Who is Phoenix?

Iron Man: Taskmaster?

Wolverine: SENTINEL IS HERE!

Zero: OH GOD, TRON IS HERE!

Thor: Who?

Trish: Hsien-Ko?

Felicia: I know her!

Morrigan: As do I. This is going to be...interesting...

Storm: Very.

Dante: So...uhh...guess we gotta go inside and unpack huh? Then what?

Ryu: We could go walking.

Dormammu: Walking? Pah. We should go kill that monkey with the moustache and rule this camp ourselves!

Wesker: I like the way you think, Dormammu. We could use this campground for a biological operations site. Where we inject plants with UROBOROS. And watch...as they die..slowly!

Magneto: I swear you have a plant fetish!

Modok: Is that even possible?

Chris: If you can have a fetish for raping little kids, you can have a fetish for anything.

Thor: RAPING LITTLE CHILDREN? RAPE! Wait..what does thou mean?

Morrigan: Rape is where you force someone to have sex with you against their will.

Dante: You'd know all about that...

Morrigan: What did you say?

Dante: I was talking to Spider-Man...

Spider-Man: ...No you weren't...

Dante: Uhh...OKAY GUYS! Let's go unpack!

Dante whirled around and sprinted into his cabin, where his bags await him. The rest of the gang followed, into their respective cabins. After hours of unpacking, settling in, and chatting..the housemates emerged from their cabins and stood outside. Absolutely bored.  
The gang met Taskmaster, Hsien-Ko, Tron Bonne, and Phoenix but the other three were missing. Jill, Sentinel, and Akuma.

The gang all stood outside and watched as the sand swirled past them. Chris wiped his eyes and took a sip from his water bottle. Iron Man opened a bag of Doritos and began to munch immediately as everyone turned to stare him down.

Wolverine: Gonna share those, bub?

Iron Man: Wasn't planning on it. Why?

He munched in Wolverine's face as he spoke. Crumbs flying from his mouth and assaulting Wolverine's steaming face. Ryu looked toward the forest and pointed at it.

Ryu: Let's go check out the forest!

Chun: But what about Haggar?

Tron: Screw him. He hasn't come out yet. We'll make it back in time!

X-23: I don't like this...

Spider-Man: Me either. But there's nothing else to do.

Deadpool: Let's not stay in there too long...you know what happens to the comic relief guys in horror movies...

Spencer: What is with you and making analogies to horror movies?

Dante: It's Deadpool.

Spencer: True...

Ryu: LET'S GO!

The gang made their way toward the forest. It seemed like such a long walk to get there. When it seemed close, it was farther away. The air got more and more dry..the sand got more and more ferocious. The sand was probably the greatest foe any of them had faced. It was relentless.

Magneto: This sand is pissing me the hell off!

Wolverine: STORM! DO SOMETHING!

Storm: I CAN'T. My powers are virtually useless at this camp!

Skrull: Yeah. I feel slightly restricted myself.

Thor: Yes. But we must press onward!

Viper: I can see the forest!

Zero: Yeah! Not much farther, come on guys!

Viewtiful Joe struggled to keep his footing. The sandstorm was so strong it knocked him off of his feet. He flailed in the storm to no avail as he collided into an unsuspecting Doom. Doom caught Viewtiful Joe with one arm and held him tight.

Doom: Be thankful you had Doom to save you!

Viewtiful Joe: Thanks Doom. You're a pal.

Doom: Your sarcasm amuses me!

Viewtiful Joe: No sarcasm, dude.

Doom: Your words confuse me!

Deadpool: For being such a brilliant scientist you're one dumb nut.

Deadpool: I wish I was a camel right now!

Ryu: A what? Caramel? Isn't that chocolate?

Dante: CAMEL, RYU. THE ANIMAL!

Ryu: Why do you wish that, Wade?

Deadpool: What did you call me?

Ryu: Wade!

Spider-Man: WADEY!

Deadpool: SHUT UP! Anyways! Camel's are able to bat sand out of their eyes! And stuff...!

Trish: That's a dumb wish...

Felicia: I love kitty litter sand, but this is ridiculous!

Dante: So does Wolverine.

Wolverine: Watch it, bub!

Chun: I can't see anything!

The sand obscured everything in sight. It was ridiculously bad.

Arthur: Everyone, stay close!

Morrigan: Yeah, you're dead if you get lost in this storm!

Spider-Man: Ugh..I feel like I'm fighting Sandman in my 3rd movie!

Thor: I never watched that one.

Wolverine: That was the one where you tried to turn all edgy, right? Hahaha.

Wolverine scraped his claws with a grin on his face.

Spider-Man: Shut up, Logan. That was a horrible pun.

Taskmaster: Yeah, the 3rd one was definitely the worst one.

Felicia: But Peter looked so cute in it!

Dormammu: HAHAHAHA.

Spider-Man: Shut up, Mammy! Are we there yet?

Zero: No sign of land yet. I'm still scanning.

Captain America: I feel..sand..going up my buttocks!

Iron Man: Obviously not the first time, eh, Steve?

Captain America was flustered. He pointed at Tony, signaling him to shut up. Iron Man was obviously referring to the time where Deadpool had shoved sand down Captain America's pants in the 5th grade.

Wolverine: I remember that. HAHAHAHA.

Wesker: I can't wait to grab some plants from this forest..and inject them!

MODOK: You're a fool, Albert.

Wesker: SHUT UP, MODOK!

Magneto: The Master of Magnet is tired of this dreaded sand!

Deadpool: MAGNETO. WELCOME TO SAND!

Deadpool threw a sand-ball at Magneto and hit him square in the face. The sand pelted Magneto's eyes as he screamed in agony.

Magneto: DEADPOOL! YOU BITCH!

Spencer: Watch your mouth, Maggie!

Taskmaster: We have young ears. Haha..yeah! Young ears! Understand? Man, I could probably make money off of these plants in this forest!

Zero: Almost there guys!

X-23: Sand just went down my shirt! UGH!

Dante immediately went red in the face. He tried not to grin and instead he farted out of joy.

Deadpool: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Iron Man: DANTE!

Dante: ...

Chun: Ewwww...HAHAHAHAHAHHA

Trish: He does that when he's excited and doesn't want to show it. I think you're arousing him, X-23.

X-23: What? Really? Dante?

Dante didn't say a word. He buried his face in the neck of his coat and avoided looking at anybody.

Ryu: What does arose mean?

Trish: Arouse.

Ryu: Yeah! What's that!

Arthur: Tell him, Morrigan.

Morrigan: Why me?

Spencer: It's obvious.

Amaterasu and Felicia giggled. Wolverine and Tony Stark listened closely.

Doom: HAHAHAHAHA. Most interesting.

Morrigan: Why am I always the one to explain..innuendos and sex jokes?

Super Skrull: Uhh...you're a succubus?

Chun: You want to rape everyone here?

Arthur: You keep telling me to pull out my "lance"?

Chris: You told me you wanted to see my real "magnum".

Dante: UUUUGHHHHH!

X-23: Hey Dante, you should let me see you do your Stinger move.

She winked at Dante, who looked back in terror as he tried to cover his lower region.

(The Stinger is Dante's most well-known move. Where he dashes a certain distance and thrusts with his sword. Always a VERY good move.)

Dante immediately gasped in horror as he stumbled.

Morrigan: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Not bad, X-23.

X-23: This could be fun!

Dante: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Iron Man: You are a terrible influence, Morrigan!

Morrigan: Oh and you're just a pure role model yourself, Tony!

Tony Stark immdiately shut up.

Spider-Man: You guys are a trip!

Taskmaster: LOOK. THE FOREST!

There it was. The giant forest that loomed in the distance. The one area they were safe from the relentless sand. The gang made a huge dash for the hospitality of the emerald jungle.

The gang all sprinted inside of the dense forest and marvelled at the sight. It was beautiful. Emerald green..protecting the gang from the storm. It was quiet, peaceful..relaxing. Like those places you see on TV, that you've always wanted to visit. There was a long stream of water in front of them, leading to the heart of the forest.  
Birds chirped, leaves danced in the winds, and trees giggled silently at their guests, welcoming them.

X-23: This is just beautiful...

She-Hulk: I'm almost camoflauged here!

Hulk: HULK IS TOO!

Wolverine: This place is just too peaceful...

Magneto: It is slightly suspicious..

Storm: You two just can't enjoy nature can you?

Arthur: I love this forest! So..soothing! Unlike the ones in Hell!

Dormammu: There are forests in Hell? INTERESTING!

Morrigan: Arthur..you never cease to amaze me.

Arthur: Hoho!

Spider-Man: Guys..I think we spent too much time in that freaking desert out there. It's getting dark...already..

Tron: So?

Dante: Haggar is going to kill us!

Tron: So?

Zero: He's gonna put us through Hell!

Dormammu: Did someone say Hell?

Ryu: Shhhh.

Ryu hushed the gang and listened silently. There was something rummaging in the bushes nearby. Ryu walked toward the bush and listened some more.

Hsien-Ko: What is it?

Viper: Probably a little rabbit or something.

Taskmaster: I'll kill it with my arrows!

Chun: YOU BETTER NOT!

Deadpool: Yeah, you don't kill bunnies like th-

Deadpool stopped before he could even finish his sentence. His eyes went wide as he pointed to the large figure behind Ryu.

Deadpool: R-R-Ryu...what..is that?

Ryu raised an eyebrow at Deadpool and laughed.

Ryu: It's a bush! Haha!

Ryu whirled around, only to be met by a firm being full of fur. The giant creature breathed heavily as it stared down at Ryu. It had the physique of a bear..but it was much larger. It was difficult to make out with barely any light..but everyone knew it was not friendly.

Spider-Man: That...

Dante: is...

Chris: not...

Zero: good.

Ryu's eyes were as large as dinner plates. He quickly delivered a haymaker to the creature's gut, but it was almost as if he was punching a brick wall.

Ryu: Oh my Tatsumaki...!

The creature raised its paw and slapped the living shit out of Ryu. He went soaring deep within the forest and landed in the stream of water located at the heart of the forest. All of the trees that were in Ryu's path before were absolutely destroyed after.  
The gang was speechless. As they sat there..awestruck..the creature began to walk forward. As it did so..the crew immediately scattered and ran for their lives.

Deadpool: RUN AWAY!

Iron Man: Wait..how do we get out of here?

Wolverine: It's too dark to see! Which way did we come from!

The chaos began to overwhelm the gang as they struggled, panicked, and fought. They all began to run in one direction, tripping over each other and shoving. The creature was on the move, right on their tails.  
Arthur and Doom began to quickly fall behind of the group. Doom was breathing heavily as he tried to keep up with Arthur, who was slowly leaving him behind.

Doom hopped over logs that obstructed his run, but failed to see the tree limb that sat in his way. He smacked into the tree limb and fell on his ass, screaming all the way. He looked back and noticed the shadowy creature approaching him. He tried to stand, but thought that it was just inevitable.

Doom: DOOM IS FUCKED!

Arthur heard the scream and the sound of metal being pounded and thrown. His eyes went wide as he hastened his sprint to try and catch up to the group.

Dante, Spider-Man, and She-Hulk led the pack. They were sprinting as fast as they could until they looked back and noticed that the creature was gone. They saw Arthur way behind, waving at them to stop so he could catch up. Trish panted heavily after the ordeal while Amaterasu hadn't broken a sweat.

She-Hulk laughed as she casually walked backwards.

She-Hulk: That was way too easy! That thing won't be able to catch us!

Magneto: Uhh..where is Doom?

Captain America: ...Uh oh..

Phoenix: I think Victor has been captured by that thing!

Viper: Who cares? Let's keep moving..before it finds us..

Iron Man: Agreed.

She-Hulk smirked as she turned to walk ahead of everyone else. She heard a rumble in the bushes nearby and became more alert than ever. Well...except for the things in front of her. Her foot caught something on the forest floor and it quickly snatched her upside down much to everyone's surprise.

Dante: Traps?

She-Hulk: Uhh..guys? Can you help a girl out?

As she said this, the rumbles increased..and the creature emerged from the bushes. His glowing eyes noticeable from miles away.

Spencer: RRRRUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNN!

Spencer was the first one to haul ass down the path, Dante and Chris following. The gang had completely abandoned She-Hulk..to be annihilated by the monster.

She-Hulk: !

Hulk stopped in his tracks as he heard the scream. She was family after all. Hulk turned around and growled as he punched the ground.

Wolverine: Hulk, NO!

The Hulk sprinted toward the monster and punched it with all of his might, staggering it.

Hulk: HULK IS STRONGEST THERE IS!

As Hulk screamed, a huge shockwave rattled the forest. It was the creature punching The Hulk..and the Hulk screamed.

Hulk: HULK FEEL !

The gang cringed at the shockwave. Wolverine grunted as he continued running, helping Arthur keep up.  
Skrull tripped over a log and tumbled into Tron, who fell down and rolled into a giant pit, another trap set for the unsuspecting guests.

The gang felt no remorse for Tron as she screamed in the hole, demanding assistance. No one listened, and instead, they continued running.

Tron: I'm going to kill you all when I get out of here!

Tron: Hello?

The gang continued their running as they came to a giant fork in the path. One lead right, the other left. It was too dark to see where each path lead, but the gang didn't care in the least.

Spencer: Which way? WHICH WAY!

Arthur: Left! No right!

Deadpool: Right is always the best choice!

Magneto: Imbeciles! If we go right, it will lead us to the heart of this dreaded forest and we'll never escape!

X-23: We can't just sit here and not do anything!

Wesker: Yes. We'll all go right and Magneto will go left. Alone.

Magneto: Wait just a second, Wesker!

Spider-Man: Awwww! Maggie is afraid to go by himself! How cute.

MODOK: I predict left is the better choice!

Storm: Well? What are we waiting for!

Phoenix: Let's just split up! Whoever wants to go left, go! And same for the right!

Chris: Alright, let's go!

Dormammu: Splitting up is most unwise..that's what that animal WANTS us to do!

As the group argued more and more, the omnious being approached them once more. As it stood behind the group listening to them argue, it studied them carefully, choosing its next target.  
They argued and argued as two members were abruptly kidnapped without their notice.

Dante: Yeah, we totally can't split up. That's worst case scenario. We have to stick together. Power in numbers!

Arthur: Dante is correct. Let us all travel together through this dreaded vinery.

Chris: Vinery?

Arthur: Forest.

Thor: I understood.

Spencer: Good for you.

Phoenix: Ever had that feeling...like...you were being watched?

Deadpool: Yeah, Bugs Bunny and those cartoons always said stuff like that.

Taskmaster: You know what? Fuck you guys and your suspense. I'm outta here.

Taskmaster was true to his word. As he spoke, he darted off in a random direction. Little did he know, however, he was just travelling even deeper into the forest. On his way to meet Ryu.

Magneto: Imbecile!

Deadpool's eyes went wide once more, as it did in the first chapter. His breathing turned into a heavy pant as his finger slowly pointed at the one thing that terrified him beyond belief.

Wesker began to walk down the left path. He pushed up on his shades as he snorted at the others. Magneto followed him.

Deadpool: G-g-g-guys...

Dante: I guess we're following them.

Arthur: Indeed.

Deadpool: G-g-g-guys...seriously...

Viewtiful Joe: C'mon, Deadpool. You're gonna get left behind. Hey, what are you pointi-

The enormous bear grinned sadistically at the two jokers. It had Storm and Captain America in its arms. They showed no sign of movement as they were as limp as a wet noodle.

Viewtiful Joe: Oh...so..that's...what you were...

Deadpool: Yeah.

The Bear: ...

Viewtiful Joe: ...

Deadpool: ...

The Bear: ...

Viewtiful Joe: ...

Deadpool: What is with all these dots?

Viewtiful Joe: !

Viewtiful Joe's stubby legs stumbled as he whirled around. Deadpool twisted his body around so violently, he ended up punting Viewtiful Joe ahead by at least 30 feet.

Wesker turned around and looked. As he saw Viewtiful Joe flying overhead he knew something was not right. His coat billowed in the darkness as he sprinted ahead of the group. Spencer grabbed Arthur and began to sprint as well.

The Bear dropped his two victims, knowing they weren't going to be moving anytime soon. It immediately began to pursue them.

Magneto was beginning to wheeze. His old age was beginning to get the best of him. How he wish he could levitate.

Dante: Maggie! Come on!

Magneto fell behind the group. He struggled to keep up as he slowed to an elderly jog. He had to catch his breath, but he knew that meant his demise.

Super Skrull couldn't help but giggle at Magneto's predicament, but quickly frowned as the bear pounced on the senior citizen.

X-23: MAGNETO!

MODOK: Oh shit, my chair is malfunctioning! Something is triggering termination!

Wolverine: What does that mean?

Modok was rapidly pressing buttons on his chair as he panicked. His eyes went wide as he stopped. He looked at his fellow companions as he waved bye-bye. His chair exploded, sending MODOK miles into the sky.

Phoenix: WHAT IS GOING ON?

Deadpool: Run, ask questions later!

Trish: We're not gonna make it out of this place!

Amaterasu: We will survive. We will!

Chris: Easy for you to say! You're a dog!

Amaterasu: That's SUN GOD to you!

Spider-Man: CALM DOWN YOU GUYS!

Iron Man: How? When a giant bear the size of God's dick is chasing us!

Dante: How do you know how big God's dick is?

Iron Man: Tactical assumption.

Deadpool: Assume makes an "Ass" out of "U" and "Me"!

Viewtiful Joe: My science teacher told me that joke!

Deadpool: DO I LOOK LIKE A SCIENCE TEACHER TO YOU?

Morrigan: You are all idiots! Keep moving!

Spencer: Hey look! A clearing! It might be our ticket out of this fucking jungle!

Super Skrull stretched his arm out and grabbed a nearby tree. As he let go, he shot ahead of the group and emerged through the clearing. He stopped and gazed at the moon. It was a dead end. There was nothing but a cliff and a giant waterfall.  
His eyes narrowed as he turned around, glancing at Spencer and Arthur who were right behind him.

Arthur: This really...how do you kids say it these days...sucks the donkey balls!

Spencer: This sucks donkey balls.

Arthur: That's what I just said!

Thor: Whatever do we do now!

Morrigan: Mhmhmhm...we're kinda screwed. We might as well die happy.

She smiled as Arthur looked at her with a puzzled expression on his face.

Arthur: Oh no, temptress! I'm not pulling out my lance anytime soon!

Spider-Man, Dante, and Chris all burst out laughing.

Iron Man was the last to approach the clearing. He finally met up with the others and saw the cliff. In an exasperated sigh, he cried.

Iron Man: This sucks donkey balls!

Spencer and Arthur: THAT'S WHAT WE JUST SAID!

Viewtiful Joe: Donkey balls? Why are we talking about donkey testicles?

Dante: Man, I miss Ryu.

Chun: Normally he'd ask some sort of stupid question like, "WHAT ARE DONKEY BALLS? DURRRR"!

Chris: "Are they balls only donkeys can play with?"

Trish: Considering he had a hard time understanding what golf balls were...yeah..

X-23: I miss him too.

Zero: Is he really that stupid?

Chun: Oh my god yes.

Wesker: Is this how we're really going to spend the last minutes of our lives? Reminiscing about our retarded housemate and talking about donkey genitals?

Dormammu: Correct. We should be formulating a plan..like how we're going to kill this...abomination.

Wolverine: I'm going to get Hulk back.

Dante: Ah..secret lovers. How cute.

Wolverine violently pointed one claw at Dante.

Wolverine: Don't start with me, bub. I'm going to show this bear who the REAL animal is.

Wolverine howled at the moon as he stomped off, anger in each of his steps. Thor drew his hammer and followed Wolverine.

Thor: I shall assist you, Logan.

Wolverine: Thanks, Thor.

Chris: Hey, Wolverine. We gotta have a meeting point. In case you guys are in trouble..we should meet back here. It should be easy to find.

Wolverine: Good idea. The cliff it is.

Wolverine and Thor disappeared through the brush to confront the mysterious animal.

Dormammu: Now what?

C. Viper: We can't just sit here and do nothing. I think we may need to split up. The bear will have a hard time finding us if we do.

Dante: But he's so fast and has so much endurance. We're toast if we go in smaller numbers.

Phoenix: But, we're toast anyway. I mean, atleast then we'd have a better chance of SOMEONE making it out.

X-23: Maybe we should split up...

Wesker: Maybe this, maybe that! Make up your damn minds and execute. I'm tired of this constant babbling about the same shit over and over again!

Chris: Well if you're so tired of us, then go off by yourself! Get killed! See if we care!

Iron Man: Now is not the time to argue guys.

Spencer: Oh where do you get off on your high-horse, rich boy?

Iron Man: At least I have money. And I'm not some washed up, ex-soldier. This suit costs more than everything you've spent money on your entire life.

Spencer: Your bragging...your arrogance...I'VE HAD ENOUGH!

Iron Man: The only thing we have in common is women, and even then you STILL have bad taste.

Spencer: Considering you'd bone a drunken transvestite, that's not saying much.

Iron Man: I will tear that arm to pieces.

Spencer: And I'd like to see you try.

Iron Man was seconds from pulling out his Proton Cannon. But before he could, Spencer had already latched his arm to Iron Man's suit. Iron Man gasped as Spencer was already in his face, reeling back his arm for a massive punch.

Dante: SPENCER, STOP!

Chris: No, SPENCER!

Spencer: BIONIC...

Zero: What are you guys doing?

Before Spencer landed his punch, time went to a slowdown. The two looked at each other before the punch connected.

Spencer: You..you won't tear this arm. This arm means more to me than you could imagine.

Iron Man: Oh yeah? How's that? Is that a souvenir of your crappy life?

Spencer: No. It's my wife.

Iron Man gasped in horror as he remembered Captain America talking of a soldier like Spencer at a S.H.I.E.L.D meeting.

Iron Man: You're..the Bionic Commando!

Spencer nodded. Afterwards, he finished his attack.

Spencer: ARRRRRRRRRMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!

Spencer punched Iron Man with all of his might, putting a giant dent in Iron Man's armor. Iron Man went flying off of the cliff and began to plunge down the waterfall.

Dante ran to the edge of the cliff and looked to see if Iron Man was there. Nothing in sight, but a loud waterfall and glistening water in the moonlight.

Before Spencer could enjoy his victory, a ticking was heard. He looked everywhere but couldn't spot a thing. It was the ticking of a smart bomb.

Zero: Where is that coming from?

C. Viper: It's coming from...I don't know..

Chun: It sounds close, but it's really distant..

Spider-Man: Uhh..hey, Spen-

Before Spider-Man could finish his scream, the bomb exploded and Spencer went flying. Down the same waterfall as Iron Man did. He was seconds from being unconcious, trying to muster the strength to shoot his arm to latch onto something, but to no avail.

Chris: SPENCER!

X-23: Oh my god...

Wesker: What fools...or maybe this was for the best. Come, we must move.

Dante: No! We can't leave them!

Wesker: What can we do, Dante? You're false optimism disgusts me. There is NOTHING we can do. The darkness is mind-numbing enough as it is. That waterfall is massive. There's nothing we can do. And even if we could, why would we?

Spider-Man: They're our friends.

Wesker: Ha, friends! Friends will do nothing but bring about the end of you. You rely too much on them, what will you do when they're not there?

Chris: Keep moving.

Wesker: And you would know all about that, wouldn't you, Chris? You thought Jill was dead. So you spent your life worrying and blaming yourself. How better off would you have been if you had never met her? If you had never befriended her?

Chris: Your mind is twisted Wesker.

Deadpool: Someone pass me the popcorn? Please? Extra butter..I love me some butter.

Wesker: No, my mind is full of the truth, and you can't accept it.

Dante: Friends are what make our lives worth living.

Wesker: Yes, just for them to betray you and lie to you behind your back in the end. And then you wish you never met them!

Zero: That's when you pick the right ones to rely on. The ones that WON'T betray you. You spend your life thinking about the negative, when behind it all, you're just miserable because you can't experience the joy of friendship. You don't have a life worth living, Wesker. And I saw that 5 minutes after meeting you.

Wesker: Pah. All of you are fools.

Chris: No, you're the fool, Wesker.

Wesker stared at Chris and smiled. His smile turned into a growl as he trudged off into the dense forest. Before he got too far, he turned around.

Wesker: If I'm the only one to survive this ordeal, you can only blame yourselves for not following a God.

Amaterasu: You're no God, Wesker.

Phoenix: You're a fool.

Wesker growled. He couldn't stand the fact of someone else calling him a fool. He hissed as he whirled around and stomped through the tormenting forest.

Dormammu: Interesting.

Dante: You gonna follow?

Dormammu: Perhaps. I do want to see how he faces the reality of being alone.

C. Viper: What are we going to do?

Dante: I'm going to find Ryu.

Chris: So am I.

Spider-Man: I'll go too.

X-23: I'll follow you guys.

Arthur: I shall accompany you four.

Chun: As will I.

Trish: And me.

Deadpool: Me and Joe are going to go find an exit. This place sucks.

Joe: It sure does.

Amaterasu: I'll go with you guys.

Dormammu: I'm going to go watch over Wesker. If things get dirty, I'm hauling ass.

Dante: Never thought you'd say something like that.

Dormammu: I'm not going to sugarcoat the truth.

Zero: I'll go and see if Iron Man and Spencer are alright.

C. Viper: I'll go with you.

Super Skrull: And me.

Phoenix: I'll follow too.

Chris: Alright, if things get hairy, we'll meet here.

Zero: Right.

Super Skrull: What about Modok?

Dormammu: Same with Magneto. We leave them.

Joe: No, we can't do that.

Dormammu: Hahaha, do what you must. Don't get killed now.

Dormammu walked off through the brush, the same way Wesker went.

Chun: I think..I think Wesker was a little frustrated. Maybe he was speaking out of anger?

Chris: Anger? What anger?

Chun: All of his closest friends are gone. Doctor Doom was captured, Magneto was captured, and Modok is...gone. Maybe..those are really his friends. Maybe he regrets he couldn't save them...

Spider-Man: He's horrible at showing his emotions.

X-23: The look on his face when Doom was caught is enough to believe that Chun-Li is right.

Dante: Maybe you can't blame the guy..he's beating himself up inside.

Amaterasu: And that's no good.

Phoenix: What are we waiting for?

Chris: Let's move.

The group scattered into their individual directions. Maybe..maybe they will find their way out of this dreaded forest. Maybe they will find their friends along the way.  
Will Wesker overcome his remorse? Will Taskmaster find his own way out? Will Dante and co. find Ryu? Will Zero and co. find the two rivals, Spencer and Iron Man? Will Wolverine and Thor defeat the mysterious bear and save the Hulk and She-Hulk?

Will Arthur finally master the slang of the world? What happened to MODOK? What is this bear? And...where exactly did Felicia and Hsein-Ko go?

All of this next time!

Guys I am ridiculously sorry. It's been FOREVER since I've updated this thing and I truly apologize. I've been overwhelmed with schoolwork, work, personal problems..just a bunch of crap. It's been a long time coming and I'm truly sorry.  
I know the game has been out for..a LONG time..but I'm going to treat it as if it's still been in development. I have Spring Break this week, so hopefully I don't develop writer's block and not do anything.

MVC3 is really good by the way. I'm kinda..disappointed that they didn't include a story mode, but it's whatever. I pretty much suck with everybody, but I'm at least somewhat decent with Zero and Super Skrull.

Once again, I'm sorry guys. I'll try not to take so long next time haha. 


	10. Saving Private Ryu

**10. Saving Private Ryu**

Wesker made his way through the thick vines and tangled forestry. The dense jungle was already getting on his last nerve, but the fact that someone else called him a fool lingered in his mind. He growled as he pushed away branch after branch, shuffling through the neverending brush.  
His growls turned into snarls as he mumbled to himself.

Wesker: Those idiots. Imbeciles. I hope they all die here. How dare they call ME a fool!

Wesker's fury boiled inside of him. He hated them. All of them. The thought of terrible things happening to them was the only thing keeping him from totally blowing his steam. He thought of Chris trying to shoot the creature with his handgun, only for it to have no effect and him getting his neck snapped in the process.  
A smile of joy appeared on Wesker's face. He trudged through the jungle but little did he know, someone was following him.

Wesker: If you're going to follow me, please do so quietly.

Dormammu appeared from the shadows and stood before Albert Wesker.

Dormmamu: My apologies. I did not mean to disturb her majesty!

Wesker: Pah. You're going to insult me? Consider this meeting adjourned.

Dormammu: You are too quick to anger, Albert. Despite your cold demeanor you are very sensitive.

Wesker: Sensitive? I could care less what you think.

Dormammu: Is that why you stormed off in an angry uproar after they called you a fool?

Wesker: That has nothing to do with it. I was just tired of their incoherent babbling.

Dormammu: Hahaha. Wrong. I can sense the anger inside you, Albert. There is more to it than that.

Wesker: Your senses fail you. How pitiful.

Wesker turned his back to walk away, but quickly stopped in his tracks as Dormammu raised his voice.

Dormammu: The truly pitiful fact is that you can't take a few words from meaningless vermin. You took it to heart. I saw the look on your face when Chris managed to counter you. Face it, Albert. They raped you verbally.

Wesker went silent. He stared ahead as if to debate on ignoring Dormammu completely or turning back and retaliating. He decided on the former as he began to walk forward.

Dormammu: Albert. Are you looking for Magneto? Doom? MODOK?

Wesker didn't say a word. He kept walking, fading slowly from view.

Dormammu laughed. He stretched his arm out as fire escaped from his hands to light the way.

Dormammu: Interesting. Very interesting.

Dormammu laughed once more as he began to walk diagonal of the way Wesker went.

* * *

Dante and Co. steadliy made their way through the forest as well. They were intent on finding their friend Ryu, after he had been knocked into the heart of the forest by the creature.

Dante: Where is he..?

Chris: Don't worry so much Dante. We'll find him.

Trish: Hopefully before that thing finds him first. Or worse yet, before it finds US.

Spider-Man: Y'know..we've been trapped in this place for a very long time. It's really dark. We could be going around in circles for all we know.

X-23: I don't think we are...

Arthur: Hell is a cakewalk compared to this..this..this...BAFFLING COCKTEASE!

Everyone stopped in their tracks and looked at Arthur.

Dante: ...What did you say?

Arthur: I heard someone else use that word! It means..something too good to be true! A cocktease!

Morrigan: You sure you don't want to have sex?

Arthur: I am quite positive, temptress.

Morrigan: Aww.

Chris: Anyways...let's keep moving. Arthur..don't listen to the things some people tell you.

Arthur: Acknowledged.

X-23: This forest is soooooooooo big...

Dante chuckled at what she said. Spider-Man looked back at Dante and began to laugh as well.

Chun: What is so funny?

Morrigan: You guys are dorks.

Chris: What? Sex joke?

Dante: Oh, nothing. Hahaha.

X-23: What's so funny Dante! Peter?

Dante did a zipping motion over his lips and kept walking forward. Spider-Man just scratched the back of his head.

Just then, a rumbling could be heard in the bushes. Arthur grasped his lance as he stood alert. His fingers trembled and his heart raced.  
Dante drew his sword and pushed X-23 back behind him. Chris pulled out his magnum and Spider-Man stood in his fighting stance at the front.

The rumbling grew louder and louder as a loud snarl could be heard. Arthur was just about to throw his lance as a tiny squirrel emerged from the bushes. Arthur was startled. He jumped 10 feet in the air chanting, "HOM-UH-NUH HOM-UH-NUH HOM-UH-NUH" only to realize it was a little animal. He quickly scratched his chin and turned around to assure everyone it was safe.

Spider-Man laughed his ass off at Arthur. Dante wiped his forehead in relief.

Chun: Whew..for a second I thought-

**IMMEDIATELY**, the giant creature emerged from the bushes where the squirrel came from! It's glowing eyes shined in the darkness as its bloodthristy growls echoed through the quiet forest. It was a huge monstrosity. Standing on its hind legs it easily towered over the males. It roared in fury as it glanced at the moon.

Trish: Oh my god! What do we do!

Dante: Trish, Morrigan, X-23, Chun-Li! Get out of here! NOW! We'll handle this thing!

X-23: I'm not leaving you!

Chris: Listen to Dante! We're better off this way! At least if we don't succeed, we know you are safe! GOO!

Spider-Man: Dante and Chris are right! JUST GO!

The beast roared as it prepared to charge at the men.

Morrigan: I'm fighting too!

Dante: NO! JUST GET OUT OF HERE!

Morrigan: We can fight too! Just because we're women doesn't mean we're helpless!

Chun-Li: She's right! If we get out of here, we get out together!

Arthur: As a humble knight...Dante is correct. You must go. We will direct its attention elsewhere. You must try to find an exit. That way, if you are successful, you can send a signal for us to let us know where you are to make an easy escape. It's the best way to go about this instead of us all getting killed here!

X-23: ...

Morrigan: ...

Trish: You guys better not die on us...

Chun-Li: I hate to admit it..but..fine. Let's go.

The four-woman team dashed off through the brush in an attempt to find the exit.

Dante: Alright ya big ugly. Now that the ladies are out of the way, how about we rumble like men? Don't you know anything about chivalry?

The creature turned its head to Dante and snarled.

Arthur: I have faced dogs more ferocious than you.

Chris: This thing reminds me of the tyrant Jill faced. Nemesis. Except..I'm pretty sure this one is nowhere near as tough.

Spider-Man: Man, and I thought Venom was big and ugly. You just set a new example buddy, congrats. Haha.

The creature had enough of the insults. It bolted toward Arthur, intent on ripping him to shreds.

Arthur quickly hopped out of the creature's path, throwing daggers at it from behind. The daggers had no effect as they just bounced off. The creature didn't even have flesh. It's exterior was more metallic than anything.

Arthur: Sounds like..metal...!

Dante dashed forward and thrusted his sword with great force into the creature's torso. The vibrations rung through Dante's sword as it barely put a dent in the creature. It slapped Dante away and made its way toward Arthur once more.

Chris: Hmm...

Chris pulled out his Stun Rod and looked at Spider-Man. He had an idea.

Chris: Dante! Help Arthur distract that thing!

Dante was already on top of the creature, riding it like a bull as Arthur threw daggers, lances, and scythes at the creature.

Dante: WAYYYYY ahead of you, partner!

Chris: Good. Spider-Man..I'm going to need you to make a slingshot out of web. Let's use these two trees.

Spider-Man made a giant web and connected it between the two adjacent trees. Chris pulled out his Stun Rod and placed it in the web. He also pulled out a Proximity Mine and placed it a few yards ahead of the web slingshot.

Chris: Dante! Draw it over here!

Dante drove his sword deep into the creature's back, striking some sort of vulnerable area, as it growled in pain. It leaped high into the air as Dante directed it toward the mine. As it appraoched the mine, Dante lept off.

Dante: He's all yours, Chris!

Chris and Spider-Man let go of the sling as the proximity mine exploded. The creature was stunned as the stun rod crashed into its face, shocking the creature quite nicely. Chris pulled out an incedinary grenade and tossed it at the creature, as Dante pulled out his pistols and shot a precise bullet at the grenade, causing it to explode upon impact, engulfing the creature in flame.

Chris drew his magnum and began blasting the creature as Arthur lit torches and tossed them at the creature. Spider-Man shot a web and grabbed a boulder as he began to swing it around violently gaining momentum. Dante equipped his Gilgamesh and began to assault the creature with a barrage of punches and kicks, finishing with an electric blast from his guitar, Nevan.

Spider-Man got enough momentum and swung the boulder high over his body and bringing it down overhead upon the creature, creating a huge crater. The creature was downed. As the gang drew closer to examine it, they noticed sparks shooting from the creature. It was no animal. This thing..was a machine, disguised as an animal.

Spider-Man: What in the name of...

Dante: What exactly is this thing...?

Chris: Looks like some type of...artificial intelligence..maybe..fused with the DNA of a bear?

Arthur: I do not understand..

Chris: Huh...this is truly odd. Something fishy is going on here..

Spider-Man: Well, it's dead. We should TREE-T ourselves to this victory! Haha, get it? we're in a forest with TREES! TREE-T? Like treat? But with TREES! Hahaha!

Chris laughed in disgust.

Chris: What a horrible pun...

Spider-Man: Guess what I would say if that thing asked me how I was doing?

Dante smiled and sighed.

Dante: What?

Spider-Man: If I was German I'd say, "I'm doing..VINE!" Get it?

Arthur: Vine?

Spider-Man: Yeah! There are vines in this forest..and people usually say I'm doing FINE, not VINE. haha

Arthur: And the German part?

Spider-Man: They usually replace their "F"s with "V"s. Or is that Russian?

Chris: Enough bad jokes. Hahaha..look! Trish is sending a signal for us!

As the heroes looked above, yellow fireworks could be seen in the pale moonlight, signaling where they are.

Dante: They're not too far away..let's go!

The heroes dashed off in the direction of the signal, leaving the machine to short-circuit. The creature did not move, however, it growled once more. It would not be defeated so easily.

* * *

The crying of the river woke a struggling Ryu. He crawled to take a drink from the fresh river. The creature had knocked him into the soul of the forest and only a lone oak tree broke his journey. His back had been injured and he realized it. Laying on the forest floor for more than two hours provided him a little bit of healing, but not much. Ryu's phenomenal physical status was remarkable. He could take injuries that would normally break a human being and heal twice as fast. His back was merely sprained. He stood, and limped to slump near a tree.

Ryu: I wonder where my friends are...

Ryu's mind began to flood with doubt.

"_If that thing took me out so easily...what could have happened to them?_"

Ryu looked at the palm of his hands and clenched them. He punched the ground in desperation and frustration. He longed to know the truth of his friends. He stood, until he heard the rumbling of the bushes.

He groaned. He knew if it was the creature, his death was inevitable in his shape. As the figure emerged, he sighed a sigh of relief. It was Wesker.

Ryu: Wesker! Am I glad to see you!

Wesker: Hmph. Where exactly am I?

Ryu: I have no idea.

Wesker: Why do I even bother?

Ryu: Bother with what?

Wesker: You. And your friends.

Ryu: WHERE ARE THEY?

Wesker: They're alive. Looking for you. I don't know where they are now, but they're around.

Ryu: Why didn't you stick with them!

Wesker: I hate them. That's why.

Ryu: Why the sudden change?

Wesker: What change?

Ryu: You didn't care for us at all. Did they say something to make you mad?

Wesker: It's nothing. You wouldn't understand anyway.

Ryu: Why's that?

Wesker: BECAUSE YOU ARE AN IDIOT RYU. DAMN!

Ryu: I may not be the brightest flower in the garden, but I have enough sense to know that something has been said that has really gotten to you. The talk show? Chris called you all kinds of names and you weren't fazed in the slightest.

Wesker: ...

Ryu: But now you hate us?

Wesker: ...

Ryu: I could be completely wrong here. Maybe something else happened. But if I know Chris, you guys probably got into an argument.

Wesker: Your deduction skills are quite impressive, Ryu. But that's not saying much. You don't know what's going on.

Ryu: Fine. Keep everything bottled up inside. If it's one thing I've learned during my travels..and during my fights...if you keep your emotions bottled up inside you..you'll never fight the same. You'll never be at the top of your game. In fact, it just makes you worse.

Wesker: I don't need a lecture from a moron.

Ryu: Obviously you do. You think you're so much better than everyone and yet you can't grasp something a 5-year old could understand. Who's the real moron here, Wesker?

Wesker: You're getting ahead of yourself Ryu. You sound very bold words but do you really know what you are saying?

Ryu: Never been more sure.

Wesker: Hmph. Your attmpts at self-reassurance are amusing. I'll leave you. To die in this shitstorm of a place.

Ryu: You'll die first.

Wesker: You can't even make that sound a LITTLE bit convincing.

Just then, some more rumbling could be heard in the bushes. A sword poked out from behind one of the trees and two figures emerged.

Taskmaster: I am SO SICK of this damn place! Seriously, how the FUCK do I get out of here? Why am I even in this game in the first place?

Dormammu: Don't ask me.

Wesker: More idiots. Delightful.

Ryu: Hey guys!

Dormammu: Oh shit..it's Ryu. God forbid my head explode from hearing his stupidity.

Taskmaster: I try to find my OWN way out of here and I find you three! Excellent. Just FUCKING excellent!

Taskmaster stomped the forest floor with unmatched fury.

Ryu: No exit?

Taskmaster: I haven't found a damned exit and I've been walking for over...uhh...like...hours!

Dormammu: Indeed. I have been down three routes and they've all led me to places I've already been. I'm thinking this forest is one giant mirage.

Wesker: What do you mean?

Dormammu: For all we know, we could still be in the desert we trekked through.

Taskmaster: FUCK THAT SHIT!

Wesker: Interesting...

Ryu: Huh?

Dormammu: You know how most deserts...wait..I'm attempting to explain something to a brainless turkey. I'll shut my mouth immediately.

Wesker: Hahaha.

Ryu: Wesker laughed!

Wesker: I did not. Do not spout such nonsense!

Dormammu: We could be trapped in this forest for an eternity.

Taskmaster: BULL TITTY..COCK UNCLE-FUCK! NO THE HELL WE AIN'T!

Wesker: Is such profanity necessary? Anyway. We are getting nothing accomplished by standing around.

Dormammu: I thought you disliked incoherent babbling? That's all we've been doing the past five minutes. Albert, your hypocrisy is showing.

Wesker: I think...maybe..just MAYBE..Ryu is correct. Just this once. Maybe...

Dormammu: Maybe?

Wesker: Nothing. It's nothing. Let us move.

Before the squad could go anywhere, more rumbles were heard in the bushes.

Wesker: Oh great...

Taskmaster: Holy shitstains!

Dormammmu: ?

?: He's gotta be here somewhere..

?: Yeah! I hear someone talking..

Ryu: Dante? Spider-Man?

Dormammu: Them?

Wesker: More idiots?

Taskmaster: Assholes?

The figures emerged from the bushes and stood before the group. Dante's grin spread from one end to the other as he ran toward Ryu and dapped him in excitement. Chun-Li hugged him and squeezed him hard as Ryu screamed in agony.

Ryu: OH SWEET BABY SHORYUKEN! MY BAAACCCCKKKKK!

Ryu screamed as Dante and Chris pulled Chun Li off of him. X-23, Trish, Morrigan, Spider-Man, and Arthur just laughed.

Dormammu: The gang's all here, eh?

Wesker: Hmph.

Dante: Man, are we glad to see you! We thought you were dead!

Ryu: Nope! I'm hanging in there! I was so worried about you guys!

Chris: Nothing to worry about. You know how we roll.

Chris punched the air repeatedly, showing off his boxing skills.

Wesker: Pah.

Chris glared at Wesker, but didn't say a word. The two beamed at each other in silence.

X-23: Ryu, do you know exactly where we are?

Ryu: No clue.

Dormammu: I'd say this is the heart of the forest.

Trish: Oh great..

Morrigan: How do we get out?

Taskmaster: Best thing I've heard all day! How!

Dormammu: Well..I think if we keep moving forward..we should be out within 30 minutes. If not, then this forest is one big...big...big...

Arthur: COCKTEASE!

Taskmaster burst out laughing.

Dormammu: Ummm...correct.

Trish: So, it's a mirage?

Dormammu: Exactly what I told Albert, Ryu, and Taskmaster.

Dante: Well, only one way to find out.

Spider-Man: Let's make like a tree and-

Everybody: Shut up, Spider-Man!

Spider-Man: Sheesh..everybody's a critic...

Ryu: I don't get it...

Everyone facepalmed.

X-23: We missed you, Ryu.

Arthur: Indeed.

Dante: Let's get out of here guys.

As the group walked along the path in front of them..an object rolled into view. It was hard to see in the darkness, but Arthur lit a torch and made it visible. Wesker's eyes grew wide as he picked up the object.

It was Magneto's helmet.

Wesker held the helmet close and clenched his fists. The anger within him boiling, slowly driving him berserk. He was seconds from going ballistic until a hand touched his shoulder.

It was Ryu's. Wesker looked back at Ryu, who shook his head. Wesker's rage subsided momentarily.

He wanted vengeance, but Ryu was right all along. Emotions are not meant to be kept bottled inside and used for malice. Wesker learned that.

Who would have thought a brilliant mind could actually learn something from a brainless turkey?

TBC

* * *

Hello everybody. Hope you like the chapter. I know it's a little more serious this time around and not random like it usually is, but this chapter is mainly..well, something I saw just the other day. One of the smartest guys in my class learned something from someone that's...not so talented in the mind. I tried to incorporate that into the story because it was pretty interesting to me. I hope none of this ends up being contradictory or anything because I really haven't had time to look over it.  
The next one will be a lot more humor-driven seeing as how it will mainly involve Deadpool, Viewtiful Joe, Amaterasu, and Felicia. With a little bit of Wolverine and Thor on the side.

You guys guessed what the creature really is yet? It's kind of weird, I know, but I'll try to clear it up. Hint: This thing has the meanest Falcon Kick, ever. :)

So yeah, until next time. Peace.

BTW, you guys need to totally get the Mortal Kombat reboot. It's really good.


	11. Great Climax

_**LIVING IN TWO WORLDS**_

**11. Great Climax**

Three figures trudged through the forest with pep in their step. The merc with the mouth was joyfully strolling through the evergreen while the pint-size hero and the sun goddess marched in behind him.

Multiple thoughts pounced around in Deadpool's mind. Toothpaste, spilling the guts of certain people, and the thought of watching Courage the Cowardly Dog were among the many things. He sliced his way through the vines and plants that obstructed his path and never skipped a beat.

Viewtiful Joe: Man...he sure is energetic..

Amaterasu: Indeed. Perhaps he's staying optimistic instead of dreading our inevitable doom?

Viewtiful Joe: Maybe. Do you think we'll get out of here?

Amaterasu: Well..considering this forest is endless, plus it's just about pitch black, adding on the fact that a murderous THING is after us, but not forgetting the fact that we have an enormous desert to trudge through afterwards...I'd say we are in a heap of mess.

Viewtiful Joe: That's one way to look at it...

Deadpool: Guys! Why are you soooooo zetta slow?

Amaterasu and Joe looked at each other puzzled.

Joe: Zetta slow?

Amaterasu: Is that something you came up with?

Deadpool: No. A long time ago, I played this game called The World Ends With You and that was one of the popular internet memes that came out of it.

Joe: I...I see. Kinda like...HENSHIN A GO-GO BABY!

Deadpool: ...Yeah...no.

Viewtiful Joe frowned at Deadpool.

Amaterasu: I still have no idea what you two are talking about. Let's keep moving shall we?

Deadpool: How is it that animals can talk? I had a puppy and all he did was look at me and smile. I named him Slade. He died two days after I got him.

Amaterasu: ...I wonder why...

Deadpool: I think he had prostate cancer.

Joe: Deadpool...

Deadpool: Yeah let's no talk about that! It was a tragedy! But then I adopted-

Amaterasu: Shut up, Deadpool.

Deadpool: Yes ma'am!

Deadpool immediately whirled around and began to hack forward with his katana.

Joe: Somehow, I get the feeling we're not making any progress...

Amaterasu: Please don't say that.

Deadpool: I feel like I'm in the Phantom Forest from Final Fantasy VI...

Joe: What is up with you and Square Enix lately?

Deadpool: RPG's are in my mind for some reason. I feel like I'm going to level up from cutting down these branches and stuff!

Amaterasu: Words cannot describe how weird you are, Deadpool.

Deadpool: Not weird, eccentric!

After 40 seconds of slashing and silence, Deadpool had finally lost his mind. (As if he had it to lose to begin with)

Deadpool: Deadpool used Cut! Shhhiiiinnnngggggggg!

Deadpool cut down some vines blocking his path as Joe and Amaterasu looked onward in shock.

Joe: He thinks he's in a Pokemon game...

Amaterasu: Maybe we should do something.

Joe: ..Nah..

Deadpool could be heard ahead screaming lines such as: "KATANA-RAMA! Pineapple, I choose YOU!" and etc.

Joe and Amaterasu shook their heads and followed the maniac. Followed, but not so closely. Deadpool could easily injure one of them for no good reason at this point.

Deadpool chopped..and chopped...and chopped until he came across a clearing. As he cut down the last of the vines in his way, he exclaimed:

Deadpool: Honey, I'm hoooooommeeeee!

But what he saw was no laughing matter. He gasped and his eyes filled with tears as Joe and Amaterasu soon caught up to him.  
Deadpool pointed as his voice cracked. His mind and his mouth were on two different roads as he tried to utter words but was unable. Instead, all that could be heard were inaudible chants and moans.

Joe and Amaterasu looked at Deadpool then looked at his finger and followed to where it was pointing. It was then they realized what had surprised Deadpool so much, and they quickly began to follow suit in the inaudible speech.

What they saw was unlike anything they had ever seen.

It was Magneto and Doom. Both bound to a giant tree side by side...and completely naked.

Deadpool burst into roars of laughter as he pointed at Magneto. Magneto was absolutely infuriated.

Deadpool: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Maggie! Where are your clothes man?

Magneto: How am I supposed to know, you brainless twat!

Deadpool: Well obviously, you two must've been doing some special things if both of you are naked and tied side by side.

Magneto: You think WE did this to each other? You imbecile! That monster beat the shit out of us!

Doom: It made the screwdriver up my ass seem like a walk in the park.

Magneto: It was TORTURE. It took tree branches and whipped us with them. Over our chest!

Joe: Holy crap...

Doom: The only way we could escape...was if we stripped out of our clothes and swam down the small river.

Joe: How did you guys get tied up?

Magneto: When we got to land, we passed out from exhaustion. And it has been evidenced that the little girl, Tron Bonne, tied us here in an effort to shave the heat off of her.

Amaterasu: What do you mean?

Magneto: Basically, by binding us here, the monster will surely come looking for us and torture us even more here while she has more time to escape.

Doom: Luckily, it did not find us. Doom was absolutely terrified.

Magneto: That thing would have ripped our dicks off.

Deadpool howled with laughter.

Amaterasu: Wow..you guys had it rough.

Doom: Where is everyone else?

Joe: We split up...everyone's just...man we're all over the place.

Magneto: Well can you cut us down?

Amaterasu drew her ice sword and chopped the binds that restrained the two as they fell to their knees.

Deadpool: Hahaha, wait until the guys see you naked!

Magneto stood and walked toward Deadpool with fury in his eyes.

Deadpool: Woah there Maggie, I don't swing that way! Hahahaha get it? Swing? Because your johnson is swinging side to side? Get it? Hahahahahaha.

Magneto grabbed Deadpool by his collar and drew his fist back as he growled in anger.

Deadpool: Woah there Charlie..don't get mad at me! Although i'm pretty sure mine is bigger than yours!

Magneto breathed heavily as he clenched his fist even harder.

Deadpool: What are you gonna do? Masturbate to my voice? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

WHAM!

Magneto punched Deadpool clear across the clearing. Deadpool screamed like a little girl as he hit the ground hard.  
His scorn sated, Magneto cleared his throat as he began to trek onward.

Amaterasu: Where are you going?

Magneto: I'm getting out of here. Maybe find my clothes. I'm pretty sure we saw Spencer and MODOK around here somewhere. Spencer was hurt pretty bad. Maybe he's still around.

Doom followed.

Amaterasu looked at Joe and shook her head. They both followed as Deadpool lay behind them.  
Deadpool twitched on the ground and sprang to his feet.

Deadpool: Wait for me guys!

He sprinted to catch up with the group.

Doom: I can't wait to find that little girl...I'm going to squeeze her little neck until her head comes off...

Magneto: I'm going to shove metal rods down her throat!

Viewtiful Joe: Guys guys guys! Child abuse, much?

Amaterasu: You guys won't do anything anyway.

Doom: If Doom sets his mind to it, Doom will have it accomplished.

Deadpool imitated Doctor Doom's voice.

Deadpool: If Doom is naked, Doom is naaaaaaked!

Doom buried his face in his hands as he howled in frustration. Magneto patted his back.

Deadpool: Oh my god I can't get over this! It's a once in a lifetime thing! A brilliant madman and an old guy that controls metal naked together! It's like the basis of a terrible gay porno!

Amaterasu: Deadpool...seriously..shut up!

Deadpool: Brokeback Mutants!

Magneto: Deadpool...

Magneto and Doom were about to explode in anger.

Deadpool: I wonder who was the woman and who was the man in the relationship. I'm pretty sure Maggie was the woman..I mean..he already has the name. But then again Doctor Doom is already Super Skrull's little whore!

Viewtiful Joe: Dude..Deadpool..seriously man. That's enough.

Amaterasu: You're going to give this fic bad reviews for your vulgarity!

Deadpool: Breaking the 4th wall is MY job and not yours lady!

Magneto: Oh yeah? Well I'll break the 4th wall too!

Magneto looks at the screen you're viewing this from.

Magneto: Deadpool is about to get the shit beat out of him, readers!

Deadpool: Hey...that's not funny! Deadpool does not approve!

Doom: Approve my foot in your face!

Doom ran toward Deadpool and jumped as high as he could.

Doom: FOOT DIVE!

Doom did his best at a dropkick, but Deadpool quickly sidestepped him and laughed.

Deadpool: HAHAHAHAHA what was that?

Magneto drew his fist back to punch Deadpool again, but Viewtiful Joe stopped him.

Viewtiful Joe: Let's get out of here first. You can kill him when you get your gear back.

Magneto: You are right, little man. It can wait.

Doom got up and spat on Deadpool's foot as he walked away. Deadpool just sat there and shrugged.

Deadpool: Does this mean I win?

The group kept walking without Deadpool who just sat there.

Deadpool: Guys?

Without any hesitation, they kept walking without him.

Deadpool: Wait up guys!

He sprinted to catch up with them, despite their desire to permanently shut him up. Deadpool joyfully chatted a storm as the group almost felt like they were going insane.

(If anyone is offended by the gay jokes, I truly apologize. I have no qualm. But I mean what would you think if you saw two naked guys tied to a tree in the middle of a forest? Hahaha. Once again I apologize.)

* * *

Wolverine and Thor marched through the shrubbery to find the monster. Wolverine growled in hate as he clawed his way through.

Thor: Wolverine, this beast...what if it poses to much of a match for us?

Wolverine: Thor, I'm pretty sure me and you can take this thing. It's nothin' but an oversized trash compactor, bub.

Thor: Mmm.

The two walked along a path until they came across a giant, shadowy figure.

Wolverine looked up and growled.

Wolverine: Smells familiar..but..I can't tell if it's hostile.

Thor: Only one way to find out, my friend.

Wolverine: Right.

At that point, it began to pour down rain. The shadowy figure turned to face the two as its growls became more clear.

Wolverine's claws extended as lightning flashed from above. The flashes of lightning exposed the figure for who he really was...

The Hulk.

Wolverine's eyes went wide as he put away his claws. He stared ahead at the Hulk and eyed him.

Wolverine: Hulk! What are you doin', man?

Hulk did not say a word. He just sat there and growled and breathed heavily.

Thor: Hulk? What is the meaning of this? Why do you not speak to us?

Hulk: ...

Wolverine: Hulk! TALK! What is goin' on here?

Hulk: Jen..took Jen...

Thor: Jen? Whom?

Wolverine: His cousin. She-Hulk.

Thor: Ah.

Wolverine: What happened to Jen, Hulk?

Hulk: Took Jen...can't find her...Hulk mad..!

Wolverine: Calm down Hulk. We'll look for her together, she can't be that far!

Thor: We need your help, Hulk. We came back to look for you so we can put an end to this charade!

Hulk: They took Jen...

Wolverine: Who took Jen, Hulk?

Hulk: Monster take Jen...Sentinel take Jen...

Wolverine's eyes went wide as his mouth dropped in shock.

Thor: By Odin's beard...

Wolverine: Sentinel...? What is a Sentinel doing here?

Hulk: Sentinel is monster...Hulk knows...Hulk punched Sentinel...Hulk felt...

Wolverine: Hulk, c'mon, we're gonna find her.

Hulk: Hulk...find Jen...

Thor: Come, Hulk. Let us mov-

Hulk: HULK FIND JEN ALONE! HULK SMAAASSSSSHHH!

Wolverine growled as the Hulk stomped the ground in anger.

Thor: He's losing it!

Wolverine: We have to stop him..he's going ballistic!

Wolverine hesitantly extended his claws. Thor drew his hammer. They stood before the berserk beast and showed no intention of stepping down. The rain pelted the three men as they waited to make a move.

Wolverine: Hulk, this is no time for a solo act, bub!

Thor: Listen to Wolverine, Hulk! You're making a mistake!

Hulk: HULK DON'T CARE. HULK SAVE JEN! IF PUNY MAN AND FUNNY HELMET GUY STAND IN HULK WAY, HULK CRUSH THEM TOO!

Wolverine: Don't make me repeat history, Hulk! You know what happened last time!

Hulk: PUNY MAN GOT LUCKY. HULK MAKE SURE PUNY MAN GETS CRUSHED. SNAPPED LIKE A TWIG!

Thor: We're not your enemy!

Hulk: EVERYONE IS HULK ENEMY!

Wolverine: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!

Hulk roared as loud as he could as Wolverine screamed at the top of his lungs.

Hulk: HULK FIGHT YOU TOO!

Wolverine: Then prepare to get mowed down.

The Hulk ran as fast as he could towards Wolverine as Wolverine sprinted toward the Hulk. Thor jogged by Wolverine's side as lighting struck in the background and the three men clashed in the solemn night.

* * *

Far east in the forest, a group of four traveled through the thick green to find the two rivals, Iron Man and Spencer.  
Zero quickly hastened his sprint and bounded ahead of everyone. He turned and taunted them for their lack of conditioning.

Zero: Can you guys PLEASE keep up? Geez. Like I'm running with a bunch of human refrigerators!

Super Skrull: Zero. Shut the fuck up.

Zero: Ha. Don't hate the player, hate the game Skrull.

Super Skrull: All you do is yap yap yap, you arrogant tool.

Zero: Arrogant? Me? Nope. I just don't make mistakes. Sorry if I'm stepping on your little toes. Man up, Skrull. Or should I call you Skrub?

Super Skrull: I have just about had enough of your insults..

Zero: Oh yeah? My Z-Saber would love to hear your complaints!

Phoenix: SILENCE! BOTH OF YOU!

C. Viper: Thank you.

Phoenix: You two act like 3rd graders! Be mature.

Zero: I hate when people say that. "Be mature..grow up!" Pah. We're all still kids and that's the most hypocritical excuse for something I've ever heard. Be mature...hahahahaha, don't make me laugh.

C. Viper: When did you become such an asshole?

Zero: The moment we got STUCK in this stupid jungle! I'm not fucking Tarzan! I don't belong here! If there was a certain mission here then sure, but noooo! You idiots wanted to be curious and now look at the hellhole we're in!

Phoenix: If I'm not mistaken, you wanted to check out this forest too. Who's the hypocrite now?

Zero: I NEVER wanted to come here.

Super Skrull: Liar.

Zero: Whatever.

Zero coughed as he slashed through more vines and branches. His irritation was beginning to boil over as he furiously bolted ahead of the group.

Zero: WHERE IS THE EXIIIITTTTT?

Super Skrull couldn't help but chuckle at Zero's plea for help. Phoenix just rolled her eyes while C. Viper shrugged.

Zero began to breathe hysterically. His eyes glowed with primal fury as he hacked away at plants like a madman. He began to laugh psychotically as anxiety settled in his mind.

C. Viper: Is he alright?

Phoenix: Where did he even go? It's so dark here..I can barely see him. Plus it's starting to rain..

Super Skrull: I say let him go off, get lost, and rust here. We don't need em'.

Phoenix: Now Ki'rt that's not nice.

Super Skrull: Oh sorry Mother! Psh.

Phoenix rolled her eyes again as she pushed away the plants in her path. She walked forward a little more until she stumbled across something on the ground. It was hard...a metallic hard.  
She kicked it a couple of times until a groan was heard. Startled, she jumped back and poked Super Skrull.

Phoenix: See what it is!

Skrull: Why me?

Phoenix: I said so!

Skrull: Ugh...

Super Skrull ran up and punted the metallic object with all of his might and what he got was not what he was expecting. A huge scream of profanity and words Phoenix had never even heard before.

It was Iron Man. He was alive.

Phoenix: Tony?

Iron Man didn't say a word as he moaned and rolled around on the wet grass. He tried to sit up, but failed to do so.

C. Viper: Need some help there, champ?

Iron Man: I would appreciate it...

Iron Man groaned as he grabbed Viper's arm to pull him up. They couldn't see it, but his suit was ruined. Phoenix's radiance lit up there area to see their surroundings and Iron Man had been destroyed. His armor was missing in some places and his helmet was gone. Static electricty could be seen shooting from his tech and his suit was in a state of a mini short-circuit.

C. Viper: Damn...you got totaled.

Iron Man: Don't remind me. That idiot Spencer...I'll make him pay for this.

Phoenix: Tony..don't go holding grudges..

Skrull: Don't listen to her! Hold that grudge and execute revenge!

Phoenix glared at Super Skrull.

Phoenix: Shut up!

Skrull looked up at the sky and whistled as if he hadn't said anything in the first place.

Iron Man: Whatever. I'll deal with him when I see him. Where is everyone?

C. Viper: Um, you kinda got knocked off of a cliff...everyone else got into their little groups and went different ways.

Phoenix: That reminds me...we need to find Zero.

Iron Man: Where did he go?

C. Viper: He ran off thinking he's Rambo.

Iron Man: Oh great. What about that monster thing?

Phoenix: Haven't seen it so far. Thank goodness.

Iron Man: Alright well enough babbling. Let's get moving.

The four set off in search of Zero, who was nowhere to be seen. Iron Man stumbled about as he tried to manage being on his feet after being grounded for so long.

Zero was far ahead of the group. He slashed at everything that touched him and shot at multiple trees as they fell in the distance. The glow from his Z-Saber lighting the way, he made his way down a small path until he heard a scuffling in the bushes. Zero's eyes narrowed as he questioned the prescence.

Zero: Who's there?

No answer.

Zero: I'm not joking! If you don't tell me who you are, I promise I will cut you into a billion pieces!

No answer.

Zero reeled back in terror as he looked at his hands. His eyes widened as he fell to his knees in shock.

Zero: What's happening to me? Am I hearing things? Seeing things? C'mon Zero..pull it together man!

Zero looked up and punched the ground in frustration. He quickly stood and shot at the bushes with his Buster Cannon.

Zero: THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH ME! AAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!

He unloaded multiple shots into the bushes, determined to figure out just what the hell was going on.

The group could hear the shots and quickly rushed to Zero's aid.

Phoenix: Oh no..the monster's got him! We must hurry!

Iron Man: Hello? I can't run!

C. Viper: Well stay behind!

Skrull: Pah. That little idiot really IS gonna get himself killed!

Zero panted heavily as the smoke cleared. He quickly regained his breath and cleared his throat.

Zero: I have to get out of here...

Phoenix: ZERO!

Zero whirled around and immediately drew his Z-Saber, but quickly put it away.

Phoenix: Are you alright?

Zero: Yeah. I'm fine.

Skrull: Crap...

Zero: Shut up.

C. Viper: We found Iron Man. Now we just need a way out!

Zero: That's the thing. I don't know if there IS a way out! I can't scan anything, my locator is non-functional, and my GPS systems are offline.

Phoenix sighed and patted Zero's shoulder.

Phoenix: We'll get out of here...somehow.

Zero: I sure hope so. Sorry about that back there...I don't know what got into me.

C. Viper: Don't worry about it kid.

Zero: Thanks...kid.

C. Viper smiled and punched Zero in the head.

Zero: Hey..watch the hair.

Zero, Viper, and Phoenix laughed. Zero looked downward and began to think to himself. What was really wrong with me? Why did I act in such a way? Was I hallucinating? The many thoughts that stormed Zero's mind made him question himself.  
Iron Man soon walked in and promptly fell to the ground in frustration.

Iron Man: This shit sucks!

Skrull: What? Not being able to walk?

Super Skrull joyfully skipped around Iron Man and began to imitate Deadpool's moonwalk.

Iron Man: Fuck you, Super Skrull!

C. Viper burst out laughing at Iron Man. She quickly stopped however, as an extremely loud noise began to get closer to their area. The sound of whirling blades...and a giant light in the distance. The light got closer and closer as the noise became more clear. It was a helicopter.

The helicopter shined it's light over the five individuals and a rope was sent down to greet them. Zero grinned triumphantly and he grabbed the rope and began to climb up. He had survived the grueling forest and didn't lose his mind. His cry for help had been answered.

C. Viper quickly climbed after Zero, while Phoenix, Skrull, and Iron Man followed. Iron Man had no problem climbing the rope, he just couldn't walk.

Zero quickly reached the helicopter and pulled himself in. He looked at who exactly was piloting the thing and it was someone he had never seen before. Wearing a purplish battle-suit with many guns by her side, the woman was of average height. She had blonde hair, and quite a voloptuous body. Not so much as Trish, but damn near close. She turned and greeted the reploid with a smile.

Jill: You okay?

Zero smiled.

Zero: Yeah. Just fine. You came at the perfect time!

Jill: Glad I could make it!

The other four soon pulled themselves onto the helicopter and thanked the gods they were still breathing.

Phoenix: Thank you so much! Who are you? Where did you come from?

Jill: My name is Jill Valentine. I was coming to join you guys at Mike Haggar's camp..but no one was there! I asked Mike Haggar where you guys were and he told me you were in The Eternal Forest.

Skrull: Well that name makes a lot of sense...

Jill: Yeah. He said all of you were probably dead so I came as fast as I could!

C. Viper: Where did you get a helicopter?

Iron Man had only stared at Jill for 7 seconds and he immediately got a boner.

Jill: I kinda..stole it. Let's just leave it at that.

Zero: Works for me.

Iron Man: How old are you?

Everyone stared at Iron Man and didn't say a word. Jill looked puzzled.

Jill: Umm..

Phoenix: Don't mind him.

C. Viper: Don't even answer that question girl.

Zero: He's a rapist.

Iron Man quickly glared at Zero. He attempted to stand but instead he just flailed on the ground and tried to crawl towards Zero.

Zero: What's the matter Iron Man? Newborn babies have an easier time walking than you!

Iron Man struggled but quickly gave up as he shot Zero the bird.

Iron Man: Fuck you blondie!

Jill immediately turned around and stared at Iron Man. Tony Stark felt a sharp pain in his gut as Jill glared daggers into him. Iron Man sighed, looked at Zero who just sat there smiling, and put his head down on the helicopter interior.

Jill: I wasn't even originally a blonde. Haha.

Everyone laughed except for Tony Stark, who just groaned and layed there.

Jill: Anyone else we need to find?

Phoenix: Yeah..a bunch of people.

C. Viper: This is a HUGE forest...

Zero: Man..no wonder we couldn't find the way out! Most of the clear paths tie in a circle! And the paths we made made it an even BIGGER circle!

Skrull: Interesting..

Jill: Well..you guys are saved now. So no worries. Might as well get started on finding everyone else.

Phoenix: Did Mike happen to tell you about a certain...monster that may have been lurking in the forest?

Jill: Monster? He said something about some guy telling him that he had hired something called a Sentinel to disguise himself as a bear and kill off anyone unsuspecting in the forest.

Phoenix: SENTINEL!

Jill: Yeah. Some guy named...Shuma Gorath? I think...

Phoenix: SHUMA GORATH IS INVOLVED IN THIS?

Skrull: That little bastard! I'm going to poke his eye out with my flaming finger!

Jill: Yeah. Shuma hired the Sentinel to kill all of you in the forest for whatever reason. Guess he doesn't like you guys.

Phoenix: Was it just one Sentinel? Or more than one?

Jill: I only heard one. But..there may be more lurking in there...

C. Viper: This just keeps getting better and better!

Jill: Not to mention some guy named Galactus is running for President.

Everyone: GALACTUS?

* * *

How's it going guys? I'm not dead yet! School's out so I have MUCH more time to put more of this up as we FINALLY get out of this forest. We discover the plot behind the bear monster, Shuma's plan, and Haggar's total obliviousness. Not to mention Galactus is running for President. How will the cast react to this?

Will Iron Man ever walk again? What the hell was up with Zero? And will Jill and the gang find everyone in time? There's no telling how many Sentinels Shuma hired!

Also, I MAY do a short fic for Street Fighter X Tekken. I'm still debating on if I want to or not because honestly if it takes me forever to update this, lord knows how long it'll take me to do both. So, I MAY do a small fic in the future for that game over time. So watch out for that if it does happen. Still dunno.  
Until next time!


	12. A Merry Christmas

Decided to create a little "what-would-happen?" if the guests celebrated Christmas. This is just a little "surprise" I guess since I missed out on a Thanksgiving holiday chapter.  
By the way, I got a really good camera for Christmas. So, you guys should totally check out my Dead Space 2 playthrough imma do when it comes out! Totally not advertising at all! LMAO

**A LIVING IN TWO WORLDS CHRISTMAS!**

Snow falling. Christmas lights on. Dark outside. Jingle bells rattling. Many eager children await their gifts from the jolly ole' St. Nick.  
Two guys in particular, were sitting on the couch, trembling in glee. Deadpool's eyes were wider than the Grand Canyon and Viewtiful Joe smile was wider than said canyon. They both sat there...staring at the lights and ornaments on the Christmas tree.  
There were stockings above the fireplace, with every guests name on one. The lights filled the room: red, blue, yellow, green, white, black, purple, orange..almost every color on the spectrum was visible.  
Deadpool turned his head and glanced at Viewtiful Joe.

Deadpool: Think we should wake everyone up?

Viewtiful Joe: Nah! Maybe in a couple of hours. It's only 5AM.

Deadpool sighed. His head tilted downward as his Santa Claus hat dipped. The little bell on the tip jingled.  
Deadpool laughed. He was amused by the jingle! He started shaking his head frantically and the bell jingled rapidly. Viewtiful Joe laughed and did the same. They started making...music..by shaking...as hard as that is to believe.

Iron Man slammed his pillow over his ear. His eyes bulged and he gnashed teeth. "Deadpool." He thought to himself.

Iron Man clenched his fist and began to pound on the pillow, punching himself basically.  
He sat up on his bed and stared at the wall. His eyes narrowed and he stood up. He was on a mission. To kill Deadpool.

He opened his door and walked into the living room where the two jolly jokers sat on the couch shaking their heads. Iron Man's eyes bulged once more.  
As soon as Deadpool and Viewtiful Joe saw the expression on Tony's face, they immediately stood up and ran from him. When they were a safe distance away, Deadpool laughed and pointed at Tony's boxers.  
Tony always woke up with an orgasm.

Deadpool: LOOK AT WHAT I SEE!

Tony looked downward and gasped. He tried to cross his legs to prevent it from being seen, but let's face it, Tony had a decent sized whopper.

Viewtiful Joe: Dude! Put that thing away!

Iron Man: How about I shove it in both of your mouthes? That'll shut you two up!

Deadpool: You gotta catch us fiiiirst!

The two jokers ran off down the hallway opposite of Iron Man. Steam blasted from Tony's ears but he quickly regained his composure when he got a reassuring tap on his shoulder. It was Thor.

Thor: Come, Tony. Let's not be angry. It's Christmas. A time of celebration my friend.

Iron Man sighed and looked at Thor.

Iron Man: I guess you're right.

Thor: Of course. Now, where is this..."Santa?" I heard he climbs down chimneys and steals your cookies and milk!

Iron Man: It's a legend Thor. To tell your little kids so that if you get them a present they didn't want, they blame Santa and not you.

Tony Stark burst out laughing at his own joke, but it left Thor even more confused.

Iron Man: Just roll with it Thor. Ryu is supposed to be the dumb one.

Thor grinned and walked into the kitchen.

Minutes later, The Hulk and Super Skrull awoke from their slumber and grabbed their own mugs. They both poured some coffee made by Tony Stark.

Skrull: Christmas huh? Not exactly my favorite holiday, but I guess it's alright.

Hulk: Indeed.

Soon after, Arthur and Spencer joined them. As did Wolverine, Morrigan, Ryu, Chun-Li, and Trish.

Iron Man silently snuck into X-23's room. He sat, waiting for Deadpool and Viewtiful Joe to creep back into the living room. Spider-Man passed by, and he noticed Tony sitting there with an insane grin on his face.

Spider-Man: Tony? What are you doing?

Iron Man shushed the web-slinger.

Iron Man: Be very very quiet. I'm hunting idiots.

Spider-Man: Let me guess. Deadpool annnnnd...?

Iron Man: Viewtiful Joe.

Spider-Man: Ah. Well, good luck with that.

Spider-Man chuckled, knocked on Dante's door and proceeded down the hallway. Dante opened his door, looked around and noticed Iron Man ahead. He raised an eyebrow and then he noticed.

Tony Stark was in X-23's room. With an erection.

Dante's eyebrows furrowed and he clenched his fists. He glared at Iron Man and began walking towards him, intent on killing the billionaire. Tony looked over and waved at Dante.

Iron Man: Hey, make sure no one is coming. I want this to be a secret.

Dante's eyes went wide.

Dante: What did you say?

Iron Man: Just make sure no one is coming. I'm about to have some fun.

Dante was about to lunge at Tony until he saw the look in Dante's eyes.

Iron Man: Dante! No! I'm after Deadpool and Joe! Not your woman. Hahaha.

Dante: Iron Man! She is not my woman!

Iron Man: Oh whatever! You don't have to hide it. Everyone knows!

X-23 was not asleep during any of this. She heard it all. But she was going to play possum for as long as she could.

Dante: IRON MAN! Seriously! We are not..together!

Captain America, Felicia, and Amaterasu passed by in the background.

Iron Man: Hahahahaha. Dante..it's okay man. Honestly. We know you like her.

Dante began to smile.

Dante: Alright, fine. So what if I like her?

Iron Man: See! Was that so hard? Dante, you could learn a few things from me, my boy.

Dante: I'm not sure if I want to...

Iron Man burst out laughing.

**MEANWHILE**

Everyone in the kitchen was laughing their asses off at Ryu. He was trying to figure out how to toast bread.

Ryu: Guys! Help me!

Spencer: Ryu..you're not the brightest crayon in the box are you?

Ryu: Crayon? Of course I'm not a cranyon!

Spencer hid his laughter, turned away from Ryu, and let it all out in Captain America's face. Captain America stared at Spencer, who was ROARING with laughter and couldn't help but to join the Bionic Commando. Chris Redfield walked into the kitchen and immediately began to laugh even though he had no idea what he was laughing at.  
Ryu sat there, dumbfounded. Chun-Li was getting aggravated by Ryu's ignorance.

Thor sat near the chimney, intent on tearing Santa Claus a new one if he ever snuck into their home. Super Skrull told Thor about how Santa tossed salt into little children's eyes and raped them. Thor was angry. He was going to destroy Santa Claus.

Arthur chuckled and noticed Wolverine holding a mistletoe over Chun-Li's head. Wolverine winked at Arthur, and he nodded. Arthur walked behind Ryu and pushed him into Chun-Li. Ryu looked back at Arthur.

Ryu: WHAT WAS THAT FOR!

Arthur pointed at Chun-Li's head.

Arthur: There is something you must do.

Ryu's eyes turned into question marks. He looked at Chun-Li, whose face was redder than Mars.

Ryu: I don't get it.

Chris howled with laughter. Spider-Man fell to the floor in pain from laughing so hard.

Trish: Wow. Ryu, you're supposed to kiss her. If someone is under the mistletoe, you have to kiss them.

Ryu: What for? Who said so?

Trish sighed.

Ryu: So, if two men were under the toemissile, does that mean you have to kiss them? Or two women?

Chris: EWWWW NO!

Chris was heavily against homosexuality. This trait led to him getting jumped in the past by gay men. A memory that will never escape his mind. Spencer shrugged and jumped on the couch. Skrull was in the bathroom taking a dump.

Felicia: Ryu! Just kiss her!

Ryu looked at Chun-Li. She just sat there, staring into his eyes. Ryu slowly stepped to Chun-Li, and she leaned in awaiting his lips. Ryu leaned in as well, but right as he was about to kiss her...

Deadpool: PRESENTS!

Ryu turned away and darted to the tree as Chun-Li opened her eyes and almost fell to the floor. The Hulk caught her before she hit the kitchen floor and she thanked him. Her face was the most red thing on the planet. She was going to kill Ryu after all this was over.

Magically, presents appeared under the tree and stocking were filled. Thor hadn't even blinked yet, but he apparently got outsmarted by Santa Claus. Thor was baffled.

Thor: What the-?

Spencer: -You'll get him next time, champ.

Deadpool and Viewtiful Joe darted down the hallway, just barely avoiding Iron Man's grasp. Iron Man had lunged at the two, missed, and landed on his dick. Not a good feeling at all.  
Dante laughed at the billionaire and helped him up, as X-23 passed both of them, smiling.

Deadpool: PRESENTS GUYS! OPEN YOUR PRESENTS!

Deadpool passed around presents to everybody. Everybody had one box, each wrapped according to their respective themes. First up, was Thor.

Thor sniffed his gift. He was highly suspicious of the present. He carefully unboxed his gift and was apalled by what he saw.  
It was a tall squeaky hammer. Thor was shocked. Was this some sort of insult? Was Santa trying to humiliate Thor?

Either way, Santa had succeeded. And Thor was pissed. He took the kiddy hammer and went across Skrull's head with it.

Thor: YOU! You have cursed me! All these..Santa tall tales! I was angry with Santa! And now he is angry with me! It's all your doing, you foul being!

Skrull: Thor. Shut up.

Thor pointed at Skrull with intense fury as lightning struck in the background.

Thor: BY THE POWER OF ASGARD. HOOOOOOOO!

He swung the hammer with all of his might across the face of the alien.

*squeak*

Skrull sat there for a few seconds. And he immediately began to roar with laughter.  
Thor's face hardened. He studied the squeaky hammer and walked over and sat in the corner. He was disgusted.

Next up, was Skrull. Skrull unboxed his gift and looked at it. It was another box. But, a metallic one. He opened the metallic box and pulled out a deck of new Yu-Gi-Oh cards. He immediately thought of Doom. He took the cards and stuck them in his pocket quietly. No one said anything.

Spider-Man opened his gift. It was a new camera. Exactly what he was looking for.  
Wolverine opened his. He got a claw sharpener.

"Not bad, Santa." he thought to himself.

Spencer opened his. He got some workshop tools. He did a mighty fist-pump, and began to open the toolbox, marveling at all the tools.  
Arthur opened his. A new set of armor, with matching boxers. Very, VERY nice.  
Morrigan opened hers. She got a vibrator. She looked around at everybody. Iron Man was the main one staring at her, and he went erect. AGAIN.

Hulk's turn. He opened his present and cheered in delight. He got a new chef hat, a spatula, and an apron. He grinned like he had never grinned before. He was ready to whip that baby out and make some burgers over the grill.  
Chris opened his present. It was a gift card. To be used at Zangief's gym, to purchase up to five things he wanted from there. To start his own weightroom at the House.  
Chun-Li opened her present. She got a new outfit, resembling her 3rd alternate outfit in Super Street Fighter IV.

Trish opened her present. It was a magnificent black comb which could transform and be used for eyeliner.  
Felicia opened her present. A giant ball of yarn.

Dante laughed at Wolverine's expression. Wolverine just stared as Felicia played with the ball of yarn. He felt..lonely.

Amaterasu opened her present. It was a Sun God Chew Toy. Nobody knew how it worked though, because it didn't come with instructions. Apparently, when you chewed it, you became instantly happy and optimistic. Or something like that.  
Ryu opened his present. A giant box of tennisballs. He grinned and read the note on the side.

"No, these are not baseballs, Ryu."

Ryu: I know that. They are tennis balls!

Everyone began to slowly clap for Ryu. He finally knew something! The slow claps turned into cheers.

Ryu: But I don't understand why they are called tennisballs when you play golf with them!

Everyone fell to the floor and facepalmed.

Iron Man opened his present. A giant lump of coal. Iron Man gasped as everyone laughed at his misfortune. He picked up the coal and threw it at Deadpool, who swiftly dodged it. The coal went on to strike a depressed Thor in the back of the head.  
Tony Stark cringed and slowly began to walk away as if he didn't do it.

Deadpool and Viewtiful Joe both opened their presents. Deadpool got the newest issues of Phoewnix Wrong: Objections Abound while Viewtiful Joe got the video games Dead Rising 2 and Monster Hunter Tri.  
They both squealed in glee and began to roll around in circles on the floor.

X-23 opened her present. It was a very beautiful diamond necklace. Very thin and pretty. All the females marveled at the gift and she smiled hard.  
Dante watched.

Dante: Hmm...

Wolverine: What's up, loverboy?

Dante: I dunno what about YOU, kitten?

Wolverine smiled and pulled Dante in for a noogie. Dante escaped after a few seconds and opened his present. It was Alice in Chains' new album, and a new guitar to boot. Dante was ecstatic.

X-23: Ooooo! Dante, you should totally play me a song.

She coughed.

X-23: Oops..no, I meant..play US a song. Haha.

Dante's eye twitched.

Chris: Totally dude!

Dante: But...I uhh...

Spider-Man: Do it!

Dante: O-Okay...

Trish: This should be good.

Chun-Li: Yeah. I wonder how he's gonna pull this one off.

Captain America: HAS EVERYONE FORGOTTEN ABOUT ME!

Captain America opened his present. A jug of milk.

Captain America growled and walked over to chat with a depressed Thor.

Deadpool: Dante! You got this man! Here, I'll provide vocals! I can sing good!

"F is for friends that do stuff together!  
U is for U AND MEEEEEE!  
N is for ANYTHING AND ANYTIME AT ALL!"

Viewtiful Joe chimed in.

"PLAYING MARVEL VS. CAPCOM THREEEEEE!"  
(cookie for anyone that gets the reference)

Dante: Nah, thanks guys. But..I got it.

He began to stroke his guitar as he swiped his hair back. He strummed it with intense passion and looked deeply into X-23's eyes.

"Right before the sunrise One thing is on my mind Need to take the stress and throw it all away.  
The feeling to discover Your one and only lover Cant describe how much you mean to meeee.  
You are the flower, I'm the rain Without you life is not the same.  
I'm everything you'll ever need Rarely spoken we still proceed.  
I can see the sunrise Looking into your eyes You riding right next to me And we both become one Headed towards the sun Following the line Following the REDLINE to the sun!  
You are the air that I breathe Without you, I am incomplete.  
You are the only one for me Rarely spoken I know you won't leave..."

He rapidly stroked his guitar in a nice, cool rythym. X-23's eyes lit up like Christmas lights.  
Chris wiped away the tears from his eyes as Spider-Man offered him a tissue. Spencer was jamming to the rythym, while Arthur shook his booty in Morrigan's face. She rolled her eyes and stuck her vibrator up his ass. Arthur yelped and jumped over the couch, tumbling to the floor. Iron Man was nodding his head to the beat. Deadpool looked at Dante as if he was some sort of guitar god.

Trish: Wow..that was...amazing..to be honest..

Wolverine: Eh, a little too cheesy for my taste, but not bad kid.

Wolverine and The Hulk looked at each other. Then, they looked at Super Skrull, who nodded at them.  
Dante looked at Wolverine and the Hulk. Wolverine pointed one claw at Dante, then pointed one claw at X-23.

Wolverine: Go for it, kid.

The Hulk pulled a mistletoe out of his pocket and held it over X-23's head. She was too busy staring at Dante to notice. Dante stood, and walked toward her.  
As he did so, Chun-Li turned and looked at Ryu. But he was not there. She turned back around and Ryu was in her face grinning. She reeled back in shock, but Ryu took one hand and placed it on her face. He then leaned in and kissed her right on the lips. He pulled back.

Ryu: Hulk told me to! Did I do it right?

Chun-Li smiled and nodded at Ryu. She was not satisfied. She wanted more. She pounced on Ryu immediately afterward.

"OH MY HADOUKEN!" Ryu screamed.

Amaterasu howled with laughter. She chewed on her toy and wagged her tail.

Amaterasu: GOOO Ryu!

Felicia: YEAH! Go Ryu!

Chris and Spider-Man did fist pumps in the air as Dante stood before X-23. He smiled at her and pointed above her head as she looked up. She gasped and looked back at Dante.  
Trish couldn't help but feel a little bit jealous.

Iron Man: It's about time Dante.

Skrull chuckled.

Dante pushed back X-23's hair, and placed his lips on hers. He kissed her passionately as Spidey, Chris, Spencer, Wolverine, Hulk, and Skrull cheered in the back. Arthur scratched his head cheered as well. Morrigan crawled near Arthur and tried to put her hand down his boxer shorts. Arthur almost let her, but he grabbed her hand and took it out.

Arthur: Not yet, succubus.

Morrigan: "Yet?" Hmm...

Iron Man sighed.

Iron Man: I need a woman right now...

Spider-Man: Me too.

Felicia stood up after Spider-Man's remark. She stared at him for a bit, then she stared down at the floor when he glanced at her.

Amaterasu: Felicia?

Felicia: I dunno Amaterasu...what would Wolvie think?

Amaterasu: It shouldn't matter. You do what's best for YOU. You do what YOU want to do. And if others don't like it, tough jerky!

Felicia: Tough jerky?

Amaterasu: Better than tough toenails.

They both laughed.

Deadpool popped up in front of the camera.

Deadpool: Well, this has been the Living in Two Worlds Christmas Special! I hope you all had a good Christmas!

Viewtiful Joe: Are you breaking the 4th wall?

Deadpool: It's my job. Haha. It's what I do.

Viewtiful Joe: Ah.

Thor and Captain America waved in the corner.

Skrull: So to all who read this Special, stay tuned, because the author is almost done with the next chapter in the CANON storyline. Or well..somewhat..canon?

Trish: Right.

Amaterasu: Yeah, the chapter about the talk shows..and all that?

Skrull: Yeah!

Hulk: We hope you all had a good, safe Christmas.

Wolverine: And it's time to ring in the New Year. WITH SOME EGGNOG!

Spencer: HELL YAH!

Arthur: The New Year is a time for change.

Morrigan: Or, to renew old habits. Mhmhmhm.

Ryu: What New Year?

Chun-Li: Shut up, Ryu.

Iron Man: We appreciate you reading this and we hope you have a safe New Year.

Chris: And to all those NOT reading this, we wish the same to you.

Spider-Man: In our time, it's almost the New Year anyway. And it's getting closer for us to depart. February 15th is the release date, right?

Skrull: Right.

X-23: So, Have an awesome New Year.

Dante: Yeah! For us! Try not to party too hard!

Chris: FIVE!

Spider-Man: FOUR!

Ryu: SEVEN!

Chun-Li slapped Ryu.

Chun-Li: Honestly Ryu, it's getting old.

Ryu: Sorry.

Morrigan: SEX!

Arthur: She means six!

Spencer: FIVE!

Wolverine: FOUR!

Felicia & Amaterasu: THREE!

Hulk & Skrull: TWO!

Deadpool & Joe: ONE AND A HALF!

Iron Man threw his coal at them.

Dante & X-23 hugged each other.

Masterman fell down the chimney. Everyone gasped and stared at him.

Thor sprang from the ground and pointed at Masterman. Lightning struck in the background.

Thor: YOOOUUUUU! I KNEW IT!

He drew his real hammer and charged at the intruder.

Masterman: ONE! HAPPY NEW YEEAAARRRRR!

The camera panned out as Masterman gets knocked out of the atmosphere.

To everyone, happy New Year. And stay tuned for the next REAL chapter. :)

Take care guys!


	13. Craziness Abound

LIVING IN TWO WORLDS

Hey guys, I'm not dead yet! :D I am SOOOOO sorry I haven't updated this in ages. I've just been so busy lately..I haven't really had the time unfortunately. :(  
But now, I'm back for a bit and I'll try to squeeze two or three chapters out. Now that Ultimate is coming out in a few days, I have to get those characters in along with the existing ones. So there's going to be a TON of characters to fit in. I appreciate the suggestions you guys have given me and thanks for the reviews.

Honestly, I really don't even plan these chapters out that much..I just go with the flow to entertain you guys as much as I can without being TOO obnoxious. But yeah, I will be taking these suggestions into consideration. It's been long overdue, so here's the next chapter. I apologize, but I'm going to totally fastforward through the forest rescue, and i'll introduce some new characters. Pretend like they've already witnessed vanilla MVC3 and they're anticipating the new game.

12. Ridiculousness Abound

The helicopter Jill piloted flew over the forest with ease. The giant lights shined brightly over the dense jungle, revealing many things incapable of being seen. The members however, were very difficult to find.

Zero: Man..where are they? I don't see anyone!

Jill: They'll turn up eventually..don't worry.

Just as Jill finished her sentence, two figures could be seen below. The figures were Tron Bonne and Taskmaster, walking together down a muddy path.  
Taskmaster shielded himself from the light as it blinded him.

Taskmaster: Oh come on! What's going on now? The fucking military are after us?

Tron: No, you idiot! We're saved!

Taskmaster: Saved? Who is that?

Tron: I dunno, but if they'll get us outta here I'm all for it!

A ladder was thrown down to the two as they sprinted toward the helicopter.

Jill: Who are they?

Zero: Taskmaster and Tron Bonne. You could have just left Tron Bonne. Ugh...

Zero sighed as he slumped in the passenger seat, dreading the irritating voice of Tron Bonne. Even worse, her mind-raping LAUGH. Zero cringed at the thought and closed his eyes in disgust.

The two climbed aboard and rejoiced at their rescue. Taskmaster kissed the floor of the helicopter and squeezed Phoenix as tight as he could before she pushed him off.

Taskmaster: Thank GOD! Oh praise the lord we're saved! What took you fuckers so long?

C. Viper: I love how you showered us with gratitude but immediately went to being rude again.

Taskmaster: Hey, that's who I am.

Tron Bonne: So tired of this stupid forest! Take us home!

Jill: Uhh..we have to find everyone else first.

Tron: Take us home and come back for them later!

Zero peeked out from his seat at Tron Bonne and growled.

Zero: You're lucky we saved you in the first place! Now sit back and hush.

Tron: Zero, are you really in a position to be sassing ME?

Zero quickly remembered what she was talking about and turned around in his seat. He crossed his arms and remained silent.

Tron: Ohohohohoho! That's what I thought.

The laugh made Zero's eye twitch. He looked at Jill who only looked back in bewilderment.

After only 30 seconds of searching, several figures could be seen almost in the same place as Taskmaster and Tron.  
Viewtiful Joe, Deadpool, Doom, Amaterasu, Magneto, and Spencer all ran for the helicopter as fast as they could.

As soon as they climbed aboard, C. Viper stared at Spencer, who had taken a nice chunk of damage.

C. Viper: Spencer...your arm...

Spencer: I know. Not destroyed...but not functional either. Gotta get it fixed..somehow...

Spencer looked around and traded glares with the exhausted Iron Man.

Spencer immediately snarled at the sight of him and Iron Man snarled back.

Spencer: We have some unfinished business, rich boy.

Iron Man: Unfinished? Pretty sure you won't be finishing anything with that arm, considering it's all you have.

Spencer: Yeah? It's more than enough to trash that little bitch suit of yours. I'm tired of your mouth Iron Man!

At that point, Iron Man remembered what Spencer had told him. Iron Man looked away and sighed.

Spencer: What? No smartass retort?

Doom: This is very enjoyable. Please continue!

Viewtiful Joe: Doom...hush, man.

Doom: DOOM DOES NOT LISTEN TO CHILDREN.

Deadpool: Then listen to me. Shut up, Doom.

Everyone on the copter turned to stare at Deadpool who was actually quite serious and intimidating for once. The look in his eyes suggested otherwise, but no one was willing to push him further.

Super Skrull: I think prolonged activity in that forest actually made Deadpool sane!

Zero looked back from his seat with his eyebrow raised. He had thought for a moment and decided to speak.

Zero: Yeah...just like it drove me INsane...

Phoenix: Right...does that forest have adverse effects on people?

Taskmaster: JUST TAKE US HOME!

Tron Bonne: PLEASE!

Amaterasu: I think you are right Phoenix. That forest is most certainly mystical.

Magneto: I did feel as though my intelligence was steadily plummeting to the bowels of Ryu's level.

Super Skrull: Holy shit...

Doom: What intelligence?

Magneto: Of all people, you should know of my intelligence Victor. Don't make me remind you of what I did to you in the 3rd grade.

Doom: 3rd grade? That was a simple miscalculation on my part. Your meager intelligence had no part in it.

Magneto: If I recall correctly, 20 x 13.75 = 275, NOT 270. You tried to show off and do it all in your head so I had to bring you down off your high horse. Which is really a donkey, for you are an ASS.

Doom: Do you really want Doom to bring his metallic pimp-hand across your face, Magneto?

Magneto: I'll just control your arm. I am the master of MAGNET, Victor. You are getting nowhere in this argument. Quit while you're behind.

Doom: Ah, but can you control lasers?

Magneto: I'm not willing to try.

Doom reached into a pouch in his tunic and pulled out his laser gun and pointed it at Magneto. Magneto grinned and crossed his arms as if begging Doom to shoot him.

Taskmaster: SHOOT HIM SO I CAN LAUGH!

Phoenix: Victor just put the gun away. Why are you being so immature?

Skrull: That comes with the package.

Doom: Shut up Ki'rt. I'll blast you to oblivion with Maggie as well!

Deadpool: I LOVE ME SOME GUNS!

Viewtiful Joe: He's back to his old ways again...

C. Viper sighed and looked over at Spencer, who turned and looked at Iron Man.

Spencer: This is going to be a long ride...

Iron Man: Indeed...

Iron Man slumped back and stared at the roof of the copter. Thoughts flashed before his eyes as he closed them.

Iron Man: Spencer. This isn't over. But apologize to your wife for me.

Spencer: What?

Iron Man: Tell your wife I'm sorry. I..didn't realize..

Spencer: Apology accepted.

Iron Man: I'm not apologizing to you..!

Spencer: I know.

Iron Man grinned for a second before looking over in Jill's direction.

Phoenix: Spencer. You need medical attention immediately. Jill, take us back. We'll come back and search for the others after.

Jill: You sure?

Tron: YES SHE'S SURE!

Jill looked at Zero who was slumped in his seat not saying a word. She sighed as she turned the copter around and headed back toward Haggar's camp.

Taskmaster: Yo, Spencer. I'll buy that arm off ya for 30 bucks!

Spencer glared at Taskmaster and gnashed his teeth. Taskmaster frowned.

At Haggar's Camp

Jill stopped the helicopter over the heliport near the camp and lowered the ladder. Tron Bonne was the first to climb down and she rejoiced as she touched the ground. She loved every second of freedom.  
Taskmaster was right behind her. He embraced the ground almost in a sexual way and high-fived Tron.

C. Viper and Phoenix, who were helping a damaged Spencer, hobbled off next. Spencer and Iron Man both hobbled toward the infirmary with Phoenix and C. Viper by their side.

Super Skrull, Magneto, and Doom all touched down and walked around breathing fresh air.

Super Skrull: I think Phoenix likes Spencer.

Doom: Who cares? She's not all that attractive anyway.

Magneto: You are a fool. I would show her the true meaning of GRAVITY SQUEEZE.

Super Skrull: I think C. Viper is kinda hot.

Doom: I do as well.

Magneto: Obviously you two cannot see the radiance of Jean.

Super Skrull: You just have no taste. She has big tits but that's it.

Magneto: We will discuss this in depth later. When we have time to sit down and relax. With some more men. We will see who has the best taste.

Super Skrull: If they're alive!

Viewtiful Joe: They better be alive. I know for a fact they are!

Doom: Your optimism is amusing, Joe.

Viewtiful Joe: Life's too short to be pessimistic! You gotta do all you can to make the ride enjoyable!

Doom: ...

Skrull: ...

Deadpool: Yeah, I already made me a bucket list! Let's see here..."Go to Disneyland...make the world's largest sausage...eat some chimichangas...become an exotic dancer...meet Barack Obama and brush his teeth for him...grow a tail...", I have a lot of stuff!

Amaterasu just stared in awe at Deadpool's enthusiasm.

Magneto: You want to brush another man's teeth? I hope you don't have kids Deadpool.

Deadpool: My kids will have moustaches by the time they're 4 years old! Just so they can ask other kids, "WHERE YO CURLEH MOUSTACHE AT!"

Skrull: Isn't that your winquote against Magneto?

Deadpool: ...Is it?

Magneto: ...What curley moustache?

Viewtiful Joe just put his face in the palms of his hands. Amaterasu copied him.

They all walked toward their cabin..confused about curley moustaches.

Zero and Jill watched from the copter then looked at each other.

Zero: They're mighty happy.

Jill: Aren't you, Zero?

Zero: Yeah, I am. I just want to figure out what exactly happened to me in that forest. Was it some kind of malfunction? Was I turning...maverick?

Jill: What did you do?

Zero: I just completely lost control of myself..I went into a panicked frenzy..unaware of my actions..and my friends..

Jill: I...know the feeling.

Zero: Really? You went through the same thing?

Jill: Kinda..it's a long story.

Zero: I have two ears. I'll listen!

Zero grinned widely at Jill who smiled back. Zero stared into Jill's eyes and couldn't help but to feel some sort of connection. She reminded him of someone but he wasn't exactly sure who.

Jill glanced away after the two stared each other down. She had to break the silence as she put her fingers through her hair.

Jill: Why aren't you getting off?

Zero responded so quickly it startled Jill, as if he knew the question she was going to ask before she asked it.

Zero: I wanna go back with you!

Jill: But...aren't you tired of the forest?

Zero: Yeah, but I want to help find the others. I can't make you go it alone.

Jill: Thanks, but I'm fine Zero. I can handle it.

Zero: Well you're stuck with me anyway! There's no telling what could be out there..

Jill: You're very stubborn...haha.

Zero: I can be at times. Now let's go. I think I know where to find them. My GPS actually works now.

Jill: That will make things soooo much easier...

Zero: Yeah, so no time to waste!

In the forest

Dante and the crew were pondering life and death. Dante was on the ground staring at the stars. In his mind, the stars had formed to make a cheeseburger at one point, and his mouth watered at the sight.

Chris was rocking back and forth sucking his thumb. X-23 sat on a log with her head buried in her arms. Trish and Chun-Li both sat back-to-back silently. Spider-Man sat in a tree, snoring.  
Arthur made shapes in the grass with his sword while Morrigan played with her hair. Ryu stood with his arms crossed, awaiting an answer to their plea for help.

Ryu: Help will come...

Spider-Man: We're so dead...

Dante: Cheeseburger?

Chris: Dead...dead...death...dying...dead...death...Chris...dead...no...

Trish: Chris...get ahold of yourself!

Chris: ...

X-23: It's so cold..

Morrigan: Tell me about it.

Dante looked at X-23 and thought for a second. He then looked back at the stars and noticed a blaring light overhead.

Dante: Oh god I can see the light...SHIT! My party can't end here!

Spider-Man: What?

Arthur: DANTE. GET AHOLD OF YOURSELF!

Dante began to convulse on the ground as if having a seizure or someone was performing an exorcism on him. He twisted and turned so spasmodically Chris thought he was possessed.

Ryu looked at what Dante was seeing and noticed it too.

Ryu: DANTE! I'M DYING TOO! NOOOOO!

Ryu started to do exactly what Dante was doing but Ryu actually foamed at the mouth. Ryu then realized that the light got brighter and brighter.

Ryu: SWEET MOTHER OF SHORYUKEN.

Spider-Man: OH MY GOD, I SEE IT TOO! DAHHHHHHHHH!

Spider-Man: Just kidding.

Trish rolled her eyes as X-23 did the same.

Ryu foamed rivers from his mouth as he began to air-hump repeteadly on the ground.

X-23: Hey wait...I think we're all seeing the same thing! We're not dying!

Chun-Li: Those are rescue lights! Hey look!

Trish: A helicopter?

Jill piloted the copter overhead and Zero threw down the ladder. He climbed down halfway and greeted the stranded survivors with a smile.

Zero: Don't worry. It's us!

Dante immediately sprang from the ground and sprinted towards the ladder only to be beaten by Chris, who had ran an olympic record to the ladder.

As they all climbed aboard they breathed heavily and panted in exhaustion.

Dante: Zero...man...we are sooo glad to see you, bro.

Zero: Haha, I didn't pilot this thing. Thank Jill.

Chris's eyes went wider than fully-pumped basketballs as his mouth dropped in sync.

Spider-Man: Who?

Zero: Jill!

Jill turned around in her seat and waved.

Chris's mouth dropped to the floor as he pointed but no words came out.

Jill: Hey Chris!

Chris's face became more and more convulted as he tried to utter words but only mumbles came out.

X-23 and Chun-Li burst into laughter at Chris's comical expression.

Dante: Hey..I think Chris is trying to tell you something Jill.

Jill: Yeah? What is it Chris?

Chris: ...

Jill: Chris? Aren't you glad to see me? We can be on the same team in this game! Aren't you glad?

Chris: I...I...I...yeah...I'm...glad.

Arthur: How do you two know each other?

Spider-Man: Did you two go out?

Chris slapped himself in the face and wiped his eyes. Jill gave him another smile and turned around in her seat. Zero gave was giving everybody high-fives, happy to know they were safe. It was going to be a long ride for Chris. ESPECIALLY after they find Wesker.

Haggar's Camp

Doom: Jill or X-23?

Magneto: Jill. I didn't get a chance to see ALL of her, but from what I saw she's a fine lass.

Skrull: You are such a pedo Maggie. How fucking old are you anyway?

Magneto: Such questions are irrelevant, Ki'rt. Fucking is fucking. No matter the age.

Skrull: Yeah and jail is jail, no matter the age. Pretty sure you don't want jail, Mag. They'd put you in a special cell..where your powers wouldn't work. With a cellmate named Buddha.

Magneto: You are certainly odd, Super Skrull.

Doom: Don't worry Super Skrull. Magneto would never be able to attain such a woman anyway. He couldn't pay them to fuck him.

Magneto: You severely underestimate me, Victor. They call me "MAG"neto for a reason.

Skrull: That is disgusting.

Magneto laughed hysterically as Doom shook his head in terror. Spencer sat near the fireplace in the cabin. He looked over at Magneto, groaned, and continued to watch TV.  
Taskmaster walked into the cabin with bags in his hands. The bags had burgers in them from McDonalds.

Taskmaster quietly tip-toed across the cabin, eyeing everyone as he walked by.

C. Viper and Phoenix had just come in from the room next door, while Deadpool and Amaterasu had walked in after Taskmaster.

C. Viper: Why are you acting so susp-

Taskmaster: -NOTHING IS GOING ON. I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

Phoenix crossed her arms and stared Taskmaster down. Taskmaster had a soft spot for Phoenix. Everytime she made that face, Taskmaster would almost instantly confess all of his schemes and sins with no resistance.  
His knees buckled and his arms weakened as he dropped the bags. He stared at the ceiling and silently mumbled, "FUCK", in his mind.

Phoenix was not pleased.

Phoenix: Taskmaster. Explain. Now.

Taskmaster turned to face Phoenix. He grinned sheepishly and looked down at his boots.

Taskmaster: Phoenix..I DIDN'T DO ANYTHNG. IT WAS TRON'S IDEA. SHE FORCED ME TO GO THROUGH WITH IT!

Seconds later, Tron walked in laughing like a madwoman. She stopped as soon as she saw everyone staring at her. Her face turned red as she slowly glared at Taskmaster, who was standing there pointing at her in fury.

Tron: Uhh...

Taskmaster: She forced me to go to McDonalds with her! She pretended to be sick..so we didn't have to pay for these burgers! It was all her! Not me! All her! She threatened to saw my balls off and use them for her experiments if I didn't help!

Tron's eyes widened as she roared at Taskmaster for his betrayal.

Tron: TASKMASTER. HOW COULD YOU BLAME THIS ALL ON ME!

Skrull: Wow Taskmaster. What a cowardly move...us Skrulls would never blame others for our own crime.

Taskmaster: Well guess what you greenbean looking motherfucker? I'm not a Skrull am I? Nope. I can do what I want!

Skrull's eyebrow twitched as he glared at Taskmaster.

Spencer: Y'know, they're totally going to catch you guys sooner or later. I mean, you know McDonalds can track people who do things like this, right?

Tron: Uhh...no?

Spencer: Yeah. You said you were sick, so they probably have you registered in their databases. You used a fake name, correct?

Tron: Uhm...no...

Spencer: ...Wow..that just makes it even easier for them to track you down. If you don't have an illness, you could be facing up to 30 years in prison.

Taskmaster's face nearly melted off in fright. His gasps for air led to him hyperventilating. He grabbed all of the bags and charged for the door, intent on mowing down anyone in the way.

Tron sat there speechless for a moment, but as she noticed Tron charging straight for her, she used her mech to grab Taskmaster.

Tron: No..we can't go! We can't turn ourselves in! We just can't!

Taskmaster: FUCK YOU BITCH. YOU'RE THE ONE WITH THE ILLNESS, NOT ME. I won't get in trouble..I'm just an accomplice!

Doom: Which means you can still be charged for the crime if seen guilty. There's no guarantee you're safe.

Taskmaster glared darts into Tron as he shouted so many profanities Haggar could hear it from his cabin that was on the other side of the camp.

Haggar's door shot open as he walked out towards the cabin everyone was at.

Deadpool laughed hard at Taskmaster, who just proceeded to roll around on the floor.

Deadpool: You should take this to court, Taskmaster! That way, I can meet Phoenix Wright!

Amaterasu howled in agreement.

C. Viper: It was nice knowing you, Taskmaster. You better go fess up now. They might lessen your time. It's better than nothing.

Taskmaster stood up and looked at Phoenix. He then glanced over at Spencer who just smiled and shrugged.

Taskmaster: Let's go, Tron. If we get locked up, I'm pretty sure Tony can bail us out. He's rich!

As soon as Taskmaster finished his sentence, the phone started ringing.

Iron Man picked it up.

Iron Man: Hello? Tony Stark speaking.

?: Yes, in under 20 minutes we have already set up a trial for umm...a man named Taskmaster and Tron Bonne? I think? Well anyway, we need to see those two at the Wright courtroom, immediately. If they don't show, we will find them. And it won't be pretty.

Iron Man: I understand.

Iron Man hung up the phone and glanced over at Taskmaster, whose heart immediately sank to his stomach.

Taskmaster: Was that...for us?

Iron Man: Yes. You two are on trial.

Taskmaster's face was paralyzed. His expression of terror made Dr. Doom burst into tears of laughter.

Super Skrull shook his head while Magneto joined Victor in laughter.

C. Viper patted Taskmaster on the shoulder, while Taskmaster didn't move or say a word.

The rest of the housemates had just got back and they were already being loaded back into the helicopter by Iron Man to head to the courtroom. It was going to be a looooong night.

At the Wright Courtroom

Deadpool was ecstatic as he hopped off of the helicopter. He would finally get to meet his childhood hero, Phoenix Wright and do his trademark, "OBJECTION", point of the finger. He giggled and skipped up the stairs, begging everyone else to hurry up.

Chris and Dante had to carry a paralyzed Taskmaster into the courthouse, as he could not walk on his own. Taskmaster's face was still frozen in that same horror. Tron Bonne wasn't much better. Her fear or jail almost overwhelmed her as she almost fainted at the sight of the Wright courthouse.

Viewtiful Joe: I can't believe we get to meet Phoenix Wright!

Storm: Is he defending the two troublemakers?

Trish: I believe so. I think Miles Edgeworth is the prosecutor.

Chun-Li: Miles is so handsome...

X-23: Who's that?

Morrigan: Don't listen to her. He's not all that great. In fact, I think he's gay for Phoenix Wright.

Phoenix: That is so not true...

C. Viper: I think it is.

Trish: Please..did you SEE the last woman he was with?

Morrigan: Yeah, she left him for another woman. So now HE'S following suit by looking for a man. And those two are rather suspicious...

Magneto: Blah, who gives a flying rat's ass about two attornies?

Trish: You're just mad you're not the subject of gossip.

Chun-Li: He's never the subject of gossip.

Wolverine smiled and laughed at the boiling Magneto, who just levitated into the courthouse with his arms folded.

Spencer stared at the giant courthouse for the longest time. He had always dreamed of becoming an attorney.

Spencer: Man..this place is huge.

C. Viper: Yeah. To think, rookie Phoenix Wright got his own courthouse in honor of him..

Jill: That is quite a feat.

Wesker slowly walked past Jill. He growled as they exchanged glances at each other. Wesker's paranoia had reached its limit. He turned and stared at Jill until she told him what he needed to know.

Wesker: WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT ME?

Jill: Uhh..nothing. Nothing at all.

Wesker's eyebrow twitched. He furiously looked over at C. Viper and back at Jill again.

Wesker: DO YOU TAKE ME FOR A FOOL!

Jill: Yes.

Wesker clenched his fists as his groans slowly became louder and louder. Jill just smirked and walked past him, as his boiling point began to reach its limit.

INSIDE THE COURTHOUSE

Dante: Uhh..where do we take this guy?

The guard at the courtroom doors smiled and pointed inside.

Guard: The Thing will take care of him.

Chris and Dante looked at each other confused.

Dante: The what?

Chris: The who?

Guard: The Thing. Ya know? Big, rock-hard guy? Kinda like that big green guy I saw walking around with you guys. He's a mutant.

Chris: Ohhhh! Like the Hulk?

Dante: Must be his brother.

Guard: No, these are two completely different guys. You'll know him when you see him.

Chris: Alright. Well thanks.

The two carried Taskmaster into the large courtroom, and Tron Bonne quietly followed. There were tons of people chatting and discussing the situation.  
Phoenix Wright was at his table, collecting papers and chatting with a little girl dressed in purple and another guy that looked sort of like Wright. He was standing alongside a girl in a magician hat.

Miles Edgeworth was on the other side of the room, with a tall man with a bandage on his face and a long green coat. He was also accompanied by a woman with a whip, but she departed to a seat behind Edgeworth a little after.

Dante: Man...this is crazy.

Chris: I'm kinda nervous FOR Taskmaster...

Tron just looked at everyone and quietly gulped.

?: There you guys are! I'll take him off of your hands.

The Thing was just as his name suggested. Just one giant, hulking, ...thing. His body was like a ton of bricks melded together into one superbrick. He carried Taskmaster to his seat beside the judge and nodded at Dante and Chris.  
Tron just followed The Thing and sat in her seat.

Dante and Chris walked over to their little section of the courtroom, right behind Phoenix Wright's stand.

Magneto levitated in afterward, sitting right behind Chris. Magneto was pissed.

Dante: What's wrong with you?

Magneto: Stupid women..

Chris: Aww...they hurt poor wittle Maggie's feelings?

Magneto: Watch your words. Or I'll be on trial next for murdering a fool.

Chris: Oh is that a threat?

Magneto: ...

Chun-Li, Trish, Morrigan, Storm, C. Viper, X-23, Phoenix, She-Hulk, and Felicia walked in. 75% of them were excited, the other 25% didn't care.

Chun-Li rushed to her seat in front of Chris. She stared at Phoenix Wright from behind but was too nervous to speak to him. Morrigan was going to ask him if he was gay, but she decided against it.

She-Hulk had walked down in front of Wright's stand and looked him in the eyes. She held out her hand and smiled.

P. Wright: Hey! I remember you! You helped me out in one of my cases..but I never really got to thank you! Ms. Walters?

She-Hulk: I'm surprised you remember me!

P. Wright: You've gotten a little greener since the last time I saw you! Hahaha.

She-Hulk: Don't make me crush this hand of yours...

She said it with a smile, but Wright quickly withdrew his hand in terror. He rubbed the back of his head.

P. Wright: So, I'm guessing you know the guy I'm defending?

She-Hulk: Well, you're defending two people.

P. Wright: TWO!

She-Hulk: Yes, but they were involved in the same crime, so no worries.

P. Wright: Ah, I understand.

The man beside Phoenix Wright spoke up. His name was Apollo Justice. (look him up)

Apollo: Got everything you need, Mr. Wright?

P. Wright: Yeah. Time to burst Edgeworth's little bubble. If I can...hahaha.

The two little girls quickly glared at Wright and clenched their fists.

Maya: Don't doubt yourself!

Trucy: Yeah! You got this!

Edgeworth began to shout from afar.

Edgeworth: Don't worry Wright. I'll make this quick!

P. Wright: ALRIGHT! WE'LL SEE ABOUT THAT, MILES.

Edgeworth slapped his stand.

Edgeworth: DON'T CALL ME MILES.

P. Wright: MILES.

Edgeworth: GAAHHHH!

Spencer whispered to Wolverine.

Spencer: These guys act like children..

Wolverine: That says a lot about lawyers these days, bub.

Viewtiful Joe: When is this going to start?

Super Skrull: 5 minutes, I think.

Captain America: Why haven't we said the Pledge of Allegiance?

Doom: What the fuck? This is court. This isn't some event that requires such.

Iron Man: Yeah, Steve. You're not going to find that in court.

Captain America: Well I wouldn't know. I do what's right. I've never been to court.

Dormammu: Good for you. Unfortunately for you, no one cares.

Dante's eyes went wider than dinnerplates when he saw Ryu. Ryu was sitting in the Judge's seat. He was completely oblivious to what was going on and thought he could sit anywhere he wanted.

The memebers could not move from their seats once they sat down, unless it was for a bathroom break. So no one could warn Ryu or make him get down because the courtroom began to be too loud.

Iron Man: Oh god...Ryu..GET DOWN FROM THERE!

She-Hulk and Wesker were the only ones not sitting, but She-Hulk was too busy chatting with Wright.

Chun-Li's jealousy began to boil.

Chun: How does she get to talk to him?

Trish: She's a lawyer too. I believe she helped him on a case once. Or at least..that's what she told me.

Felicia: Yeah. Those little girls are too cute though!

Arthur: I think I should have used the bathroom before I came in here...

Dormammu: You and your bladder problems!

Spencer: Hey, Wesker! Get Ryu down from there!

Wesker and Jill had just walked in. Wesker grinned and laughed at the idiot Ryu, who had been playing with the Judge's gavel. Wesker laughed...and laughed some more as he took his seat beside Magneto and Dormammu.

Amaterasu made a small bolt of lightning smack into Ryu's head. As he screamed in pain, he looked around to see who had hit him. He glanced at The Thing and charged at him with gavel in hand.

Ryu: YOU HIT ME!

The Thing was startled. He grabbed Ryu with one hand and threw him across the room.

The Thing: Woah buddy..don't scare me like that. Next time, I'll clobber you.

Deadpool: Hey, that's The Thing! My buddy!

Viewtiful Joe: The who?

Zero: The what?

Thor: The Thing. Ben Grimm!

Wolverine: Ah, ole' Ben. I bet he won't be too happy to see me...

Hulk: After what you did to him last time?

Captain America chuckled.

Wolverine: Yeah...hahahaha.

Ryu stood up and walked over to where everyone else was sitting. He had a massive headache after crashing head-first into a wall.

Dante: You alright?

Ryu: Head...hurts...

Chris: Well..you charged at a giant boulder with a gavel in your hand. You're lucky he didn't clobber you.

Deadpool looked at the camera and smiled.

Deadpool: Since when did Capcom characters know about Marvel characters' catchphrases?

Deadpool then turned to stare at Phoenix Wright. He cheered in delight as he screamed his name.

Deadpool: GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO PHOENIX WRIGHT! TAKE THAT. OBJECTION. HOLD IT!

Phoenix Wright looked back at his ecstatic fan and smiled.

Deadpool nearly passed out.

Viewtiful Joe: He's so awesome.

Dr. Doom: Awesome? He looks like an idiot with that anime hair.

Magneto: Shut up, Victor.

Dr. Doom: Magneto..now is NOT the time to start with me.

Skrull: Hahaha.

Just then, a man with a camera stood in front of the courtroom. He had a mic in his hand and he wore aviators. He pulled out a baseball bat out of nowhere and smacked a random zombie through a wall.

Frank: Frank West here reporting in. This just in, there is a courtroom case of epic proportions as Phoenix Wright battles Miles Edgeworth in a struggle of wits. Will Phoenix Wright prevail and send Miles's career into the bowels of the toilet?

Edgeworth quietly gnashed his teeth and groaned.

Edgeworth: Don't...call...me...Miles...

Arthur bit his lower lip and stared at the ceiling.

Arthur: Don't...say...toilet...ugh...

Spencer looked at Arthur and quitely snickered with Wolverine. Thor had eaten an Asgardian Burrito earlier so he wasn't feeling much better than Arthur. Thor just had extreme gas and if he let it go, he might destroy the whole courtroom.

Frank West: And now, presenting the Judge. Alongside him is his personal bodyguard and fellow criminal justice executive, Daredevil.

The Judge slowly walked to his stand, alongside the red-clad superhero. The Judge took his seat and looked at everyone.

Daredevil: All rise.

The judge swung his gavel a couple of times and let everyone be seated. The trial was about to begin.

Taskmaster's face was still frozen. Tron Bonne had almost begun to cry.

Dormammu: This will be interesting...

Wesker: Indeed.

Felicia: I hope Taskmaster pulls through! He's funny!

Phoenix: And rude. But I hope he doesn't go to prison too.

Chris: I think he'll pull it out. I could care less about Tron.

Hulk: That's mean. She's just a little girl.

Dante: Yeah, she doesn't deserve to go to prison. Maybe juvenile detention.

X-23: I agree. Prison would deteriorate her mind..she'd go insane.

Magneto: HAHAHAHAHAHA. Excellent! TAKE HER TO PRISON!

Dormammu: YES. TO PRISON WITH HER!

Dr. Doom: PRISON. PRISON. PRISON.

MODOK: PRISON. PRISON. PRISON!

They began to chant.

The Thing and Daredevil: SHUT UP YOU FOUR.

The four mumbled under their breath and quietly sat back down.

Judge: Taskmaster. Do you have anything you need to say before we start?

Taskmaster was frozen. Not saying a single word.

The judge blinked. He looked over at a crying Tron and asked her the same.

Tron: We didn't do it...

Edgeworth: Of course you didn't.

Judge: Quiet, Miles.

Edgeworth slammed his fists on his table and quietly screamed to himself.

Judge: Go ahead, Miles.

Edgeworth: Your honor, call me-

P. Wright: -Miles.

Edgeworth: SHUT UP, WRIGHT. JUST SHUT UP!

Phoenix Wright just laughed to himself.

Edgeworth: Anyway...where exactly were you when this happened, Taskmaster?

Taskmaster had slowly recovered from his frozen state and analyzed the question, which took him over two minutes to respond.

Taskmaster: At McDonalds.

Edgeworth: And what exactly were you trying to get?

Taskmaster: We wanted burgers.

Edgeworth: So you prentended as though she was sick?

Taskmaster: I...

Tron: ...

P. Wright: Hold it. In this history file, it turns out that Tron Bonne did in fact have an illness. Perhaps she didn't know that she had recovered from it.

Edgeworth: That explains nothing, Wright.

P. Wright: Hear me out...

Just then, as Phoenix Wright was about to finish what he was saying, a man in a mask burst into the courtroom.

It was El Fuerte, along with Adon and Sagat.

El Fuerte: HOLD IT, HOLMES!

P. Wright: He took my catchphrase...

Adon: We have come to take THIS man to trial!

Sagat pushed forth ANOTHER man in a mask. It was the same man they had met that one day at the resteraunt.

It was Agev.

Agev only looked forward at the Judge, not saying a word.

Judge: Uhh...

Sagat: We believe it was HIM. He was the one that murdered Gen!

Adon: It was all this guy! Who says his name is..."Agev!"

Chun-Li: HIM!

C. Viper: Agev? Wait..isn't that..

Hulk: Hulk remembers Agev. Hulk wants to punch his face in! Crush that mask!

Wolverine: Yeah, I've been itching to slice his mask in half..just to claw his face in two.

Agev: I wasn't the one that killed Gen. It was THEM!

He pointed at all of the cast of MvC3.

Agev: The body was at their doorstep, and they took it and placed it on their neighbors' doorstep.

Just then, another man had appeared and pointed at the cast as well. His name was Edward Falcon. (Power Stone)

Edward: Yeah I saw one of these guys put the body on my doorstep because I just so happened to be going to lock my door. I didn't get a chance to open the door to see who it was because I get quite queasy over dead bodies...

Agev: See? It was one of them, not me.

Adon: But I saw you slay him in the ninja suit!

Agev: You passed out, how could you have seen anything? I was there, about to order my food when the blackout occured. Then I heard screams. So I walked back to see what was going on..I saw all you guys, and I left in horror.

Dante: You're a liar!

Taskmaster: So does this mean we're off the hook? Because our crime is pretty tame compared to this shit...

Edgeworth: So you admit it?

Taskmaster: No!

Arthur: I really have to use the bathroom please!

Frank West: Man..my story is going to go through the roof! So much..profit..potential!

Frank West took pictures in a crazy frenzy.

Edward: Uh..can I go now?

Agev: No. You are a witness. You must stay.

Edward: Dammit...

Sagat: We'll see who murdered Gen...we'll see. You'll get what you deserve, Agev.

Agev mumbled under his breath.

Agev: We'll see about that..

Ryu: ...VEGA! I remember him!

Agev's eyes lit up. He glared at Ryu with such fury. The claw on his hand cursed his name as Agev cringed.

C. Viper: Yeah...yeah! That's him! That mask..that claw! That is Vega!

Chun-Li: Trying to trick us by changing his look and his name backwards!

Wesker: How did Ryu manage to deduce something like that?

Dormammu: Is Ryu actually a crouching moron, hidden genius?

Skrull: Perhaps.

Trish: Vega, huh? Looks like your little scheme is up.

Chun-Li: Now we have a proper case, now that we really know who you are!

P. Wright: What is going on...

Maya: No idea.

Apollo: ...

Sagat: Let's go, Vega. Time to deliver justice once and for all.

Thor was sitting quietly in his seat but he couldn't take it anymore. He let out one of the loudest farts in the history of the universe. The fart was so loud it knocked a couple of people off of their feet. Wesker's shades flew off into the distance and it messed all of the girls' hair up. Ryu's headband flew off of his head and smacked into Sagat, who clenched it in his hands.

Trish: That was..

X-23: Disgusting.

Dante, Chris, Spider-Man, Spencer, Wolverine, and Hulk just looked at each other and burst out into an unstoppable laughter as Arthur sprinted as fast as he could to the restroom. Morrigan followed Arthur as he screamed for her to leave him alone.

Just then, Captain Commando appeared out of nowhere and punched El Fuerte in the face.

Captain Commando: That's for burning my pancakes at Ihop!

El Fuerte fainted.

Captain Commando quickly ran off with his team following right in behind. To make the chaos even more...chaotic...Ghost Rider had burst through the wall.

Ghost Rider: I'll figure out who's guilty and who's not.

She-Hulk: Ghost Rider!

Ghost Rider: That's right. I'm in this game now. Who wants to LOOK INTO MY EYES first?

He pointed at Taskmaster, who quickly shook his head furiously. Tron Bonne just whistled as she looked away.

Edgeworth: WHAT IS GOING ON!

P. Wright: Quiet, Miles!

Edgeworth stood on his table and kicked papers at Wright.

Edgeworth: NOW YOU LISTEN HERE, WRIGHT!

Deadpool: This is the best episode of Phoenix Wrong ever...

Amaterasu nodded in agreement.

Sagat: So do we get a trial or not?

Dormammu shouted out of nowhere, "NO!".

Judge: As soon as everyone takes their seats and I can figure out who's doing what, yes.

Adon: Good.

Vega: Grr...

Thor: Ugh...*small fart*

C. Viper: Thor..go take a load off. Please.

Thor: By the power of Asgard...my stomach is fucked up.

Chris and Spider-Man almost died of laughter. No one expected Thor of all people to day such a thing.

Spencer wiped tears from his eyes as Wesker began to chuckle. Jill looked at Zero, who just shrugged.

Ghost Rider: Uhh...so...

Judge: ...10 minute break. I've got to figure all of this out...

Frank West: ...This is soooo good!

Edward: I just wanna go home...

Frank West: We'll be back afer these commercial messages folks!

Deadpool: Hey, that's my line!

TBC

Wow...what a clusterfuck of randomness, huh? I gotta squeeze another out by tomorrow though. So I can at least get the new characters in before the game comes out. 


	14. Confusion

Deadpool: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

As we return from the three month commercial break, the courtroom was in an uproar. The Judge's brain was on the brink of exploding for trying to keep up with all of the chaos that was tearing his courtroom into pieces.  
Taskmaster and Tron Bonne were still being tried after a new case had been announced. Agev was revealed to be in fact, Vega, who attempted to put the murder of Gen on the MvC3 cast's shoulders.

Frank West had snapped over 200 pictures within this period of time and hadn't shown signs of stopping anytime soon. Watch as the chaos unfolds in...

LIVING IN TWO WORLDS

Confusion

The Judge wiped his head with his handkercheif as his eyes blinked furiously from one person to the next. Phoenix Wright and Edgeworth poured themselves a nice cup of coffee, seeing as though their services wouldn't be needed for a while. Deadpool slowly inched over in his seat, little by little, in an attempt to pluck a small strand of Phoenix Wright's hair.  
Viewtiful Joe cheered Deadpool on as Deadpool put all of his concentration into his plucking. She Hulk was on the verge of slapping Deadpool into next week, but she couldn't keep her eyes off of the unfolding case.

Vega: Judge, do we have a case?

Dante: We shouldn't. If this guy didn't even see who put the body on his doorstep, how can he even blame us? He's not a witness, Vega is bribing him somehow.

Vega: Bribing him? With what exactly?

C. Viper: You are pretty feminine Vega, so one can only imagine...

Vega: You've got to be kidding me. Really? Hahaha, how intelligent.

Hulk: You're one to talk. Trying to put the murder YOU committed on someone else's shoulders when we have PROOF that it was you? Yeah, very intelligent. Hulk about to SMASH Vega.

Chris: Yeah, Vega. I'm pretty sure Sagat and Adon have the resources to prove you wrong, or else they wouldn't have brought you here.

Sagat: Yes. That is correct.

Adon: We have evidence!

Phoenix Wright: Evidence, you say?

Adon: Yes. Infrared camera with supplementary night-vision. We got everything.

Edward Falcon: Uhh...I'm going to leave now..

Wolverine: You're not goin' anywhere, bub.

Wolverine slowly walked behind Edward and started to sharpen his claws.

Wolverine: Why did you try to blame us?

Edward: Uhh..well..you see..Vega..he..

Chris: Yeah?

Edward: He..threatened me..

Dante: Threatened you? Oh ho ho! Vega, things aren't looking too bright for you, are they?

Judge: How exactly did he threaten you?

Edward: He threatened to use his claw...to..."neuter me" and chop my dick off...a.."penectomy".

Deadpool cringed as the words left Edward's mouth, which caused him to pluck a patch of hair out of Phoenix's head instead of a little strand. Oddly enough, Phoenix didn't even seem to feel it.  
Deadpool gasped at the sight as his eyes went wider than dinner plates. Deadpool quickly looked at Viewtiful Joe.

Deadpool: Glue...we need glue!

Viewtiful Joe: From where?

She Hulk: Look at what you two did! You dumbasses!

Viewtiful Joe: HE'S the dumbass, not me!

Phoenix Wright turned around.

Phoenix Wright: What are you guys mumbling about?

Deadpool quickly put the hair behind his back. He gave Phoenix Wright a calm, soothing look and reassured him that nothing was wrong. His words were jumbled and he began to twiddle his thumbs.

Phoenix Wright: Something wrong?

She Hulk: Go ahead and tell him, Wade.

Deadpool: Well...you see...

Just then, Vega screamed at the top of his lungs which made everybody look in that direction. Ghost Rider was trying his hardest to remove Vega's mask but it wouldn't come off. He pulled with all his might but the mask seemed like it was attached to Vega's face permanently.

Dormammu: Stand aside, Ghost Weiner. I'll burn that mask off! HAHAHAHAHAHA.

Skrull punched Dormammu in the rib and pushed him away so he could have a shot at removing the mask.

Skrull: No! I, Super Skrull, will remove the mask with extreme prejudice! So fuck off Dormammu!

Iron Man laughed at Dormammu's groans as Dormammu shot a flaming middle finger at Skrull.

Thor: I could remove the mask. Just give me another Asgardian Burrito and by the powers of Ass-gard, it shall be done!

Spencer: Haha..he said "Ass"gard. Get it? Farting? Ass? Haha..yeah...

Deadpool chimed in out of nowhere.

Deadpool: Booooo!

Spencer dropped his head in shame.

Wesker: I still think the "neutering" and "penectomy" are interesting. That's a very gruesome punishment indeed. I like the way this man thinks.

Trish: So, you're obsessed with dicks and balls too, Wesker? I can see why you're always stalking Chris.

Wesker's eyes burned in rage.

Wesker: Do NOT start this again! There will never be any yaoi or whatever between me and that pathetic gorilla!

Chris: Yeah! What he said!

Zero: What is a dick?

Thor chuckled so loud the whole room shook. Storm couldn't help but to laugh because Thor was laughing so hard.

X-23 looked at Dante and blushed. Dante bit his lower lip.

Dante: ...

Hulk: ...

Felicia: ...

Arthur had returned from the restroom and glanced around at everybody.

Arthur: Ah! I feel refreshed! Like a new knight! Took only five seconds for me to punch myself and shatter all of my armor!

Morrigan had followed him in and out of the restroom and began rubbing on his beard.

Arthur: Temptress! Leave me be! I have no desire for you!

Arthur began to run around in circles with Morrigan following closely behind. (if you know how Arthur runs, this is a funny thing to imagine)

Zero: Guys...

Chris: Uhh..Morrigan, you better answer this question.

Morrigan: Answer what?

Vega: AHHHHHHHHHH!

Ghost Rider: Son of a demon! This mask is fucking fused to his face!

Ryu: That's odd...when we fight, I could kick him in the shin and it'd knock his mask right off.

Ghost Rider: What the hellfire?

Chun-Li: It's true. It's so easy to knock his mask off.

Ghost Rider: Do it. I want to see this.

As soon as Ghost Rider let go of the mask and turned to face Ryu, Vega reeled back in terror and let out a slew of profanity. Edward Falcon ran off when no one was paying attention to him and Vega kicked Ghost Rider in the back of the leg. Vega laughed hysterically and pulled out a smoke bomb which exploded in his hands.

Vega: Dammit! See you ugly freaks later!

Vega stormed out of the courtroom and only his shadow could be seen.

Ghost Rider: NO! Don't let him escape!

Thor: Sneaky little man, he is.

Spencer: Alright, Yoda.

Thor: Yoda? I am Thor! Champion of Asgard!

Iron Man shook his head.

Ghost Rider's bike came crashing through the side of the wall as he mounted it in mid-stride.

Dante: Damn...nice bike.

Ghost Rider: Thanks. It got transformed after I became the Ghost Rider. Now, I hunt the guilty. Vega is mine.

Super Skrull: Not if I get to him first.

Ghost Rider: You think you can catch him before me? Fool, you couldn't catch me on a toddler tricycle.

Dormammu: HAHAHAHA. I'll smoke the both of you like a cigarette!

Dr. Doom: So, men, are we looking at a bet here?

Ghost Rider: First one to catch Vega gets...?

Dr. Doom: If I win, you will all become my servants for a day.

Dormammu: Same here if I win.

Super Skrull: Agreed!

Wesker: Yes. I concur as well.

Super Skrull: Doom, if you lose, you will subject yourself to Ryu's stupidity for a day!

Ryu looked at Skrull, dumbfounded.

Ryu: What about Ryu?

Dr. Doom's eyes went wide as his throat started to get dry. He began to stutter as he trembled in fear.

Dr. Doom: I-I-I c-can't agree t-t-to that...

Super Skrull: What's wrong Victor? Scared of a little bet, my friend?

Wesker: Skrull, if you lose, you must sneak into bed with She Hulk.

She Hulk wasn't around to hear this.

Super Skrull: Oh shit...

Dormammu: HAHAHAHA. Wesker, if you lose, you must eat nothing but coleslaw. ALL day.

Wesker: Fuck you! I'm not going along with that shit!

Chris: Oh..Wesker hates coleslaw?

Wesker: Grah, it's disgusting!

Chris: Interesting...

Jill: Very interesting...

Zero: Guys...no one has answered my question!

Dante: Morrigan..explain to Zero what a penis is!

Morrigan: Okay!

Morrigan grinned at Zero and took him by the hand.

Morrigan: Zero, honey, a penis is one of the most wonderful things in this universe.

Dante: Of course you'd say something like that...

Morrigan: Quiet you!

X-23: ...

Spider-Man had been asleep the entire time and had only just recently woke up from his slumber. He yawned and stretched on the bench he was sitting in. He stood up and looked at Felicia.

Spiderman: Hey, what's going on?

Felicia: Well, those guys over there are betting on who can catch Vega first, Morrigan is explaining to Zero what a penis is, The Judge up there is still baffled as to what is going on, Deadpool plucked a giant patch of hair out of Phoenix Wright's head...

Phoenix Wright: HE DID WHAT?

Deadpool: RETREAT. RETREAT.

Deadpool and Viewtiful Joe stood immediately and darted out of the courtroom with Phoenix Wright trailing not too far behind.

Apollo: Oh boy..he's enraged.

Maya: Yeah..he'll have unlimited stamina now..

Morrigan stopped talking to Zero and looked up.

Morrigan: Unlimited, you say?

Wolverine and Hulk shook their heads and laughed.

Dante: Of course you'd ask that.

Morrigan glared at Dante.

Magneto: Dormammu, if you lose, you must watch Teletubbies and Rugrats ALL day.

Dormammu: There aren't enough episodes!

Magneto: There will be re-runs.

Spider-Man: DUN DUN DUUUUNNNNNNN!

Wesker: Magneto, if you lose, you must go to the dog pound and get a Blue Heeler dog (look them up) and take care of it for a week BY YOURSELF. Afterwards, we will assist you. Maybe.

Magneto: That's it? That's simple!

Wesker: Hmhmhmhhahahahaha. We'll see.

Ghost Rider: And what if I lose? Which I won't, by the way.

Wesker: If you lose...

Magneto: You must..

Super Skrull: Survive a night...

Dr. Doom: With...

Altogether: Morrigan.

Morrigan slowly glanced at Ghost Rider and smiled.

Morrigan: Mmm...

Ghost Rider: I'm guessing that's a bad thing?

Dr. Doom: Find out for yourself.

Ghost Rider: Psh...

Ghost Rider looked at Morrigan, who slowly rubbed her legs up and down while licking her lips. Ghost Rider gulped.

Super Skrull: Can you handle all that...slut..?

Morrigan: I'm going to kick your ass later, Skrull.

Skrull gulped.

Iron Man: I don't even think i'd be able to handle all of that. Remember who exactly I am now.

Spiderman: Oh man..this sounds interesting. So, who do you guys have to catch? Vega? Who's that?

Chun-Li: A pretty boy with a stupid little mask and a claw. Very feminine. Likes to call people ugly.

Ryu: He said I looked like a homeless man. Home..less? What does that mean? I told him "thank you" and he laughed before we fought!

Spencer: I would have laughed too..hell, i'm laughing now!

Captain America: Ryu, that is not a compliment, soldier.

Storm: Far away from a compliment.

Amaterasu: I worry about Ryu sometimes...

Thor: As do I, sun goddess.

Hulk: Hulk will never get over Ryu's idiocy.

Spiderman: Well, we need a starting line.

Amaterasu: The first one to catch Vega has to take him outside, where one of us will wait to see who wins! Woof!

Jill: I've got my money on Ghost Rider.

Chris: Wesker is going to be the first one to lose. I can't wait. I'm going to have my camera ready when he takes a nice, big gulp out of a cold pile of coleslaw!

Wesker gulped and cleared his throat as he got into a runner stance. Ghost Rider revved his bike. Super Skrull walked up beside Wesker nonchalantly. Magneto slowly floated between Dormammu and Super Skrull, while Dr. Doom hopped up beside Dormammu.

Trish: On your marks...

Judge: WAIT! So..what about the case?

Miles Edgeworth: Forget it, Judge. Let's watch this race. You do have cameras all over the courthouse don't you?

Judge: Yes but...

Miles Edgeworth: Can't you pull them all up on the giant TV right there?

He pointed to the humongous 60 inch TV behind the Judge.

She Hulk: There should be a way to do so. I remember from my lawyer days.

Judge: Perhaps you are right..let's try.

Ghost Rider kept his eyes on the hallway ahead. Magneto glanced around at his competitors and gritted his teeth.

C. Viper: Get set...

Super Skrull smiled evilly as he began to stretch his arms forward to gain a rubberband-shot start. Dormammu began to burn Super Skrull's arms, but Super Skrull was unaffected due to the Human Torch.

Dormammu: CURSE YOU, HUMAN TORCH!

Arthur: OHOHOHO! We have some tricky rivals here! Oh this will be fun!

Spencer: In five...

Spiderman: Four...

Jill: Three...

Dr. Doom squinted his eyes. Wesker pushed up his shades.

X-23: Two...

Dante: One...

Jean Grey: GOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Ghost Rider immediately left the competition in a blaze of fire. Super Skrull wasn't too far behind as he began to surf on fire. Dr. Doom struggled to keep up as he jogged down the hallway, carefully planning an invention that would help him seek out Vega.  
Dormammu trailed behind Super Skrull and pushed his levitation to the limit as he slowly began to catch up. Wesker sprinted as fast as he could and sped past Dormammu, giving him the middle finger as he went by. Magneto was a little bit behind Dormammu as he began to grab objects from afar and hurl them at his rivals. He managed to strike Super Skrull upside the head with a fire extinguisher, who lost his balance and skidded down the hallway before turning into a alien wrecking ball that rolled down that hall. The fire extinguisher bounced off of the floor and sprayed in Dormammu's face who screamed in horror.

Dormammu began to fly in the wrong direction and smacked Magneto in the face, who went flying into another room.

Super Skrull was rolling like a madman. He rolled faster than he surfed it seemed, as he quickly began to catch up to Wesker, who looked back and cursed as loud as he could. Wesker tried to zig-zag to trick Super Skrull, but Super Skrull kept right on his tail and eventually steamrolled Wesker who lay flat on his stomach. He punched the ground, stood up and resumed sprinting.

Ghost Rider was casually cruising down the many halls until he looked in his mirror and saw Super Skrull rolling not too far behind. Ghost Rider laughed.

Ghost Rider: Heh heh. Look who's trying to catch up. You may be immune to fire, but try HELLfire.

Ghost Rider revved his bike downward, and the exhaust let out a brighter flame than usual on the floor behind him. Ghost Rider laughed hysterically as he took a left down another hall.

Super Skrull paid the flame no attention.

Skrull: Ha! Weak fire. How pathetic!

Super Skrull soon realized that the fire was not as weak as he had predicted. He slowly began to feel unimaginable pain as he shrieked in absolute horror. He stopped rolling and looked for the nearest water spot. Luckily, a janitor had left a mop bucket conveniently placed nearby. Super Skrull grabbed it and sat in it as he exclaimed, "Ahhhhh".

Dr. Doom had carefully built his Vega Tracker and had begun using it to track Vega's wherabouts. He went down a flight of stairs and came out on the same level as Ghost Rider. He looked around and ran left.

Ghost Rider was battling Wesker, who had managed to ride an elevator to catch up. Ghost Rider wasn't paying attention to the hall, and failed to realize that Dr. Doom was running towards him. Dr. Doom made a great leap and dropkicked Ghost Rider square in the back of the head and knocked him off of his bike. Wesker laughed hysterically as he punted Ghost Rider 20 feet down the hall.

Dr. Doom stared at Wesker, who smiled in return. The two got in their fighting stances. Wesker darted toward Dr. Doom, who retaliated by reaching in his pocket and pulling a packet of COLESLAW out of his tunic. Wesker immediately stopped and his face turned purple. Dr. Doom had successfully subdued Wesker, who pleaded for mercy. Dormammu shot a fireball which hit Dr. Doom directly from the side which knocked him through the wall and out of the courthouse. Wesker stood up, on the brink of vomitting, and kicked Dormammu in the shin, before finishing him with a karate chop to the temple. Dormammu grunted and grabbed Wesker's leg as he lie on the floor. Wesker kicked Dormammu's hand away and punted him out of the same hole in the wall as Dr. Doom.

Super Skrull and Magneto were battling it out down the exact same hallway as they bumped into Wesker. They began to throw a flurry of punches and kicks at Wesker, who seemed to dodge all of their blows with ease.

The gang watched the fight unfold on the giant TV.

Chris: Wesker's dodging...

Jill: Uroboros.

Chris: Yeah...

Dante: I remember you telling me about that.

Chris: That son of a bitch..

Iron Man: If that stuff can make your reflexes THAT good, I'd like to buy some.

Spencer: You still wouldn't be able to dodge this arm.

Iron Man: Wanna test that theory?

Wolverine: Oh brother.

Captain America: At ease, soldiers!

Zero: So, Morrigan...do..those things really make you more of a man?

Morrigan: Of course, Zero honey. You can get an implant if you want.

Zero: So then I could have..sex?

Morrigan: Yep. And THAT is where life truly begins. Mmhmmhmhm.

Zero: Ah...

Arthur: What has this woman planted into your mind, young robotic friend?

Zero: It's nothing, Arthur. Just a lot to think about.

Spiderman: Honestly, you're good without it Zero. It'll get you into a lot of trouble, plus, all the negatives that can be gained with it...hell, you can do without it. It's like practicing abstinence.

Morrigan: Dumbest practice ever.

Dante: Of course you'd say something like that.

Morrigan: Why do you keep saying that?

Dante: Because it's true.

Felicia: Do you practice abstinence, Dante?

Dante looked at X-23.

Dante: I..well uh..hey look! Wesker is winning!

C. Viper: No he's not, he's running in circles. He just doesn't know it. He's ran down Hallway 27 over ten times now. You would think he would have noticed the giant "Hallway 27" sign.

Chris: Wow...

Hulk: Wesker almost as bad as Ryu..

Ryu: Which screen are we supposed to be looking at? Are we watching football?

Everybody facepalmed.

Ghost Rider stood up and got back on his bike. He zoomed down Hallway 22 and heard a faint voice nearby. He opened the door he was closest too and found Vega, who was about to leap from the window.

Ghost Rider: I FOUND YOU!

Vega: No you didn't! Shut up!

Ghost Rider: You must come with me. Don't ju-

Vega jumped.

Ghost Rider: ...dammit.

As Vega screamed about how he couldn't fly, he flailed about in the air like a fish out of water. He squealed about being too pretty to die and stroked his fingers through his hair one last time...until something hit him. When he opened his eyes, he noticed that something wasn't right. He wasn't plummeting to his death anymore. He was...flying...

(youtube link .com/watch?v=bIJG5nrzLQk)

Vega almost fainted. He looked up to see that he was in the arms of the superhero, Nova.

Nova: Don't worry man, I got ya.

As Nova slowly decreased in altitude, he touched down on land. He dropped Vega off, who could only watch in amazement and Nova posed and laughed.

Nova: Suicide attempt?

Vega: Something like that. My friend, you are beautiful.

Nova: Woah, i'm not into that buddy. Haha, but you're welcome. What's up with the mask?

Vega: It's something of a trademark.

Nova: I see...what's your name?

Vega: Age-I mean, Vega. What's yours?

Nova: Avon.

Vega: Avon?

Nova: Yeah. Is that weird? Hahahaha. No seriously, my name is Nova and you're under arrest.

Vega: WHAT?

Nova: Sorry man, your name is all over the place! Luckily, I caught ya before you killed yourself. Hands behind your back.

Vega: Shit. You, Nova, are ugly.

Nova: Shaddup ya freak.

As Vega cursed under his breath, he walked alongside Nova as he was handcuffed. Dr. Doom used his tracker to find the two and gasped.

Dr. Doom: YOU! WAIT! I NEED HIM!

Nova: What? For what? If you really need him, I guess you'd be willing to do hard time with him too then?

Dr. Doom: No chance in hell!

Nova: Then step aside, green bean.

Magneto: But you don't understand!

Wesker: We have a bet going on!

Ghost Rider: Whomever is the first to catch him wins!

Super Skrull: Yeah!

Nova: Well guys, it looks like I'm the winner. Go cry about it somewhere else.

Wesker: You do realize that it is five on one right now? I think you'd better listen to what we have to say.

Magneto: Our sixth member is a little...under the weather right about now.

Ghost Rider: Dormammu?

Wesker: Yeah. Knocked him out cold.

Vega: Can I go?

Nova: Shut up.

Dr. Doom: Let him go.

Nova: I'd rather not. I'd also rather not listen to what any of you losers have to say. I can take on a trillion of scrubs like you. I'm fucking Nova.

Ghost Rider: I've heard of you. I'm pretty sure Skrull's kind raped you when you tried to liberate their planet.

Super Skrull: The ghost is correct.

Nova: Actually, he's wrong. I'M the one that did the raping. Ask Shi'ar.

Super Skrull's eyes lit up in an inferno of fury.

Super Skrull: What did you just say?

Nova: Pretty sure you heard me. Unless you want to become an alien shishkabob, I'd suggest you move.

Super Skrull: You have disrespected the Skrull race. And for that...you must pay.

Magneto: You cannot defeat the five of us.

Wesker: We told you to listen.

Dr. Doom: So now, we'll take back what we came for.

Nova: Hahaha...riiiiight.

Nova coughed and raised his arm toward the sky. His helmet gleamed in the sunlight.

Nova: NOVA CORPS, ASSEMBLE!

Just then, three bright flashes of light appeared and blinded the five troublemakers.

Wesker: What the shit?

Dr. Doom: Light?

Nova began to walk off with Vega, who pleaded for the five to free him.

Super Skrull: THIS FUCKING LIGHT!

The three lights materialized into three beings that glared at the five. One light became Mega Man, the next became Proto Man, and the third became Bass.

Magneto: Who the fuck are thes-

Before Magneto could finish his sentence, a plasma round quickly grazed the top of his head, which melted a chunk of his helmet.

Magneto was silent.

Three seconds later, the three robot men began to put the smackdown on the evil squad. Super Skrull's arms and legs got tied around a tree multiple times. Magneto had two black eyes and couldn't see out of either one. His nose was bleeding and his helmet had been destroyed. Two teeth lie in the distance, obviously knocked out of his mouth.  
Ghost Rider had rips and tears on his jacket, but he wasn't nearly as beatdown as Magneto. Dr. Doom lay with his tunic in three seperate pieces. His legs and arms had been rearranged..again. Wesker's shades were broken and his hair was a mess. He had a giant bald spot on the left side where his hair had been ripped out and he had cuts and bruises under his eyes.

The squad got quintuple-fucked.

As the rest of the gang watched from the TV, Chris cheered in delight.

Chris: Nova Corps is awesome! They beat the living Jesus out of Wesker!

Jill: They're really good.

Zero: Was that...X? Proto Man? Bass? No way!

Zero stormed out of the courtroom and saw all of the holes in the walls created by the squad. He quickly leaped through one of the holes and teleported to the ground safely. He looked around and saw the squad groaing and moaning. He then saw the Nova Corps, about to leave.

Zero: X! X!

Mega Man turned around and looked for the one calling his name. As he glanced at Zero, it only took him a few seconds to grin and greet his best friend.

X: Zero! Who would've thought I'd meet you here!

Bass: A friend of yours?

X: Yeah...from the Maverick hunting days..

Proto Man: Well met, Zero.

Zero: Same to you guys! I saw you all obilterate these guys and I had to come talk to you.

X: It's nice seeing you again. You look..a lot more buff. What have you been doing?

Zero: Well..the Capcom producers don't exactly let you sit around and slouch all day. They put you to work to be in tip-top shape for a new game.

X: I see...geez..I wish I had been selected. They didn't choose me because they just wanted to piss off my fans.

Zero: Yeah that's what I heard. What got you to join the Nova Corps?

X: Well, I get to do what I do best. Deliver justice. Plus the pay is pretty good too, so it's like a double positive.

Zero: Man...how long you gonna be with them?

X: For another three months. Then we get a ten-year vacation, because another Nova Corps will take our spot.

Zero: Ten years? Holy E-Tank!

X: Yeah, it's pretty crazy. But you're working nonstop these five months, so it's well deserved. But anyway, nice talking to you Zero! We have to head out!

Proto Man: Yeah..something about a..crazy guy stealing someone's hair?

Bass: We get weirder requests everyday...

X: Really now? Hair? You've got to be kidding me...

Zero: Oh! I know who that is!

X: Really! Who!

Zero: A guy clad in red. Well, two guys. One is more maroon and the other guy is in red. One's name is Deadpool and the other is Viewtiful Joe. I'm pretty sure they're running from Phoenix Wright.

X: Phoenix Wright? The defense attorney?

Zero: Yeah.

X: Appreciate it, Zero! Talk to ya later man!

Zero: Yeah. See you guys!

Just then, Deadpool burst out of the entrance to the courthouse, running at full speed. His gasps for air and his wheezing meant that he had been running for a long time. Viewtiful Joe was not too far behind as he cried for Deadpool to slow down.  
Phoenix Wright was after them, sprinting his hardest as Dormammu followed. Dormammu grabbed Phoenix Wright with his powers and hurled him ahead. As Phoenix Wright was launched into the air, he shifted his body weight so that he'd have a pinpoint strike on Deadpool's skull. He leaned forward like a hawk swooping at a rabbit, and flipped so that his right leg pointed downward. His right foot crashed into Deadpool's skull, who whimpered in pain.

Deadpool: MY KIDNEY!

Viewtiful Joe: DEADPOOL!

Viewtiful Joe ran for Deadpool but stopped when Phoenix Wright glared at him with an evil grin. Viewtiful Joe gasped and fainted.

Viewtiful Joe: I can't believe...I just got chased...by Phoenix Wright..

K.O.!

Phoenix Wright panted heavily as he gave Dormammu a high-five. Dormammu just pointed and laughed at Deadpool. He then turned his attention to tree-tied Super Skrull, beat down Magneto, dead Dr. Doom, unconcious Ghost Rider, and mutilated Wesker. He laughed even harder, cackling even.

X: Well...problem solved?

Nova: Problem..solved. I think we're looking at our newest member to the Nova Corps!

Edgeworth and Frank West soon appeared on the scene. Their jaws dropped as they glanced at Phoenix Wright.

Edgeworth and Frank West: Daaaaaaaaaaaaamn.

Back in the courtroom

Judge: I'm going home.

Daredevil: Yeah, me too. Taskmaster, Tron Bonne...you two are free to go on a $150 fine.

Taskmaster: What. The. FUCK.

Tron: I don't have that kind of money!

The Thing: Community service?

Taskmaster: FUCK!

Judge: You are a very vulgar man.

Taskmaster: Blimey! What do we have to do?

Judge: Pick up trash outside. Should take you two no more than three days.

Tron: Ugh...

The Thing: You don't have anything better to do.

Daredevil: Seriously.

Taskmaster: ...

Tron: Taskmaster?

Taskmaster: SHIT.

Apollo: Hey, it's better than in-prison detention.

Maya: For sure.

Taskmaster: What's that?

Judge: You ever seen Hancock?

Taskmaster: Hand cock?

Tron: Ew..

Judge: No..ugh. No. Hancock!

Taskmaster: A movie?

Daredevil: Yes.

Taskmaster: I mean if I'm asking all these questions it's kinda obvious i've never seen this before.

Judge: Well, he's a superhero that shoved one man's head up another man's ass.

The Thing: That's what goes down in there.

Apollo: You don't want that.

Taskmaster: You damn right I don't!

Tron: Yeah..we'll pass on that. Community service it is!

She Hulk: I've had enough of courtrooms for today.

Amaterasu: Amen.

Storm: Where to now?

Wolverine: Home. Screw Haggar, I say!

Iron Man: Couldn't agree more. Call Ken and tell him to take us home.

Ryu: Call Ken? KEN. KEN!

Ryu shouted at the top of his lungs for Ken until Chun-Li smacked him.

Chun-Li: No, you idiot! With a phone!

Ryu: A who?

Chun-Li: THIS!

Chun-Li showed him her cellphone and Ryu was dumbfounded once again.

Ryu: Numbers...looks like a remote control for TV!

Dante: Hey, at least he knows what a remote is.

Hulk: This is true.

Captain America: Being frozen for as long as I have, I'd say I still know more than Ryu does. And that's saying something.

The gang walked out of the courtroom and down the hall. There were a bunch of newspeople in the hallway, taking pictures of the aftermath of the race. News reporters stormed the group and bombarded them with questions.

Reporter: Who won the race?

Reporter: Where is Vega?

Reporter: Do you like pineapples?

The flashing lights of the cameras confused Ryu. As numerous microphones were placed around his face, Ryu didn't know what to say.

Ryu: Uhhh...

Reporter: Ryu, you seem bamboozled!

Ryu: Bam..what?

Reporter: Where are your shoes?

Ryu: Shoes? I wear feet!

Reporter: You smell like fish!

Ryu: I eat fish..I'm no fish..

Reporter: Ryu!

Reporter: Ryu! Ryu!

Reporter: Ryuuuuu!

Ryu slowly began to get angry as his head began to ache due to all of the shouting.

Ryu: SWEET MOTHER OF SHORYUKEN!

As he screamed "SHORYUKEN", he accidentally Shoryuken'd one of the reporters, knocking him out on the spot. Ryu gasped and stared at his hands. The reporters were quiet for a little bit.

They then cheered and began to bombard Ryu with more questions as he ran away down the other hall.

As he did so, he caught up with his friends, only for a select few to be dragged out of the group and into another room by a mob of game show hosts. In the darkness, the few that were dragged in couldn't see anything until the lights flashed on. As they looked around, numerous people were seated around a central stage in which six pedestals seated two people at each one. It was the Game Show room. The host?

Ken Masters and his wife, Eliza.

Ken: Welcome everybody to To Love or Not to Love! My exciting game of love!

The crowd cheered.

Ken: I would like you all to meet our couples for today as they set out to prove whether they truly love each other...or whether their love is just a dud. Nothing but exciting things can happen on a show like this, so let's hurry to meet our contestants!

Ken: On pedestal #1, we have Chris Redfield and Jill Valentine!

The two contestants had been blindfolded and now they were removed. As they looked at each other, they screamed.

Chris: What? I'm paired with her? What the hell? How did we get dragged in here in the first place? Did the writer even explain this?

Masterman: Yes I did, Chris, so shut up.

Chris: ...he heard me?

Jill: We don't love each other!

Chris: That's right! Besides..I still don't understand anything that's happened in this chapter so far!

Jill: I think Deadpool is rubbing off on you...

Chris: Hush you!

Jill: See, we don't love each other!

Ken: Or so you think...

The crowd applauded.

Ken: On pedestal #2, we have Dante and X-23!

Dante: ...Uh oh...

X-23: What? Something wrong? This could be kinda fun. If it's boring it'll be all your fault and i'll claw you. K?

Dante: Uh oh...

Ken: That just sounds like love. On pedestal #3, we have Spider-man and Felicia!

Spiderman: Great. A love show. Wouldn't it be wonderful if Mary Jane saw this...

Felicia: Peter! Let's have fun!

Spiderman: *sigh* This is stupid...

Ken: On pedestal #4, we have Ryu and Chun-Li!

Ryu looked up and saw himself on the TV because the camera was recording him. He waved at himself!

Ryu: Hi, Ryu!

Chun-Li repeatedly slammed her head on the pedestal.

Ken: Nice to have ya, Ryu! On pedestal #5, we have Arthur and Morrigan!

Arthur: This is just excellent..

Morrigan: Mmm..do you love me Arthur?

Arthur: NO! I detest your foul attempts to seduce me, temptress!

Ken: Damn...okay and on the final pedestal, we have Nathan Spencer and...She Hulk?

Spencer: What the hell?

She Hulk: This is a joke?

Ken: No, this is no joke, ladies and gentlemen. You see, after watching the chaos that unfolded on that last show you guys did, I had to drag you guys in here to boost my views. My ratings will skyrocket. I mean, you want me to take you guys home right?

Eliza: Riight?

Ken: It's the least you guys can do! So help me out this once, please?

Spencer: Grr...

Dante: I guess he has a point..

Chris: But..

Arthur: I don't like my companion!

Morrigan: Don't mind him. He's just playing hard to get!

Ken: Interesting. Well folks, there you have it. See how these couples will face the ultimate question of To Love or Not to Love! See you after these commercial breaks folks! And remember, always SHORYUREPPA before you fry your chicken!

Spiderman: ...what?

Ken: I dunno.  
The audience applauds for no reason as Ken smiles at the camera.

TBC 


	15. Obscure Situations

**LIVING IN TWO WORLDS**!

I know it has been like...two years, but I can honestly say that I have not forgotten about this and I am pretty excited to continue.

I also know that I made a lot of promises in the past that I didn't keep, and I am truly sorry for that. It was an irresponsible move on my part and I'm owning up to it.

Without further ado, let's continue shall we!? I hope people still read this...

* * *

15. Obscure Situations

* * *

_**Ken's Game Show Room**_

An ecstatic Ken Masters, wearing a crimson red tux and white dress shoes, pranced around the room as the audience cheered and screamed. Ken's show, "To Love or Not to Love", was a big hit when it first premiered and the audience truly loved the show. The ratings would be even higher if Ken had a successful operation with some of the rising stars of the moment, namely the contestants that were competing.

Ken's wife, Eliza, sat in the upper deck at the main computer and provided the visual cues for the audience to inititate laughter, applause, boos, and other feedback actions to better assist Ken and the flow of the show. She also provided the script by which Ken would read off of the teleprompter that would follow him around, in case he got stuck or stumbled. In other words, the show and its members were well prepared for any situation and were ready to assist Ken at any point in time.

The Game Show Room was a big oval shape, with the audience taking up most of the space at the back. It was a very bright room, with crimson red walls to the right and left and the floors were a type of comfortable carpet that was easy on the eyes. The room had giant double doors at the front (behind the stage) and at the back (behind the audience). In the middle, Ken stood over a podium that came up to his lower neck. He had cards placed on the flat peak of the podium and a microphone beside the cards that could be adjusted to suit his posture. Cameramen and women stood to the right and left, next to the walls and in front of the audience to film the entire thing. Each pair of contestants had a similar seating pattern. The males would stand up on the stage while the females would sit on a pedestal type seating arrangement beside their partner. Arthur was at a clear disadvantage due to how short he was; his whole body was shorter than Morrigan's pedestal itself.

Ken patted his microphone and looked up at Eliza. She gave him a thumbs-up and Ken immediately smiled and cleared his throat.

The cameras were rolling.

Ken: Hey everybody, welcome back to To Love Or Not To Love! When we last left off, I was just introducing the contestants to see if we can find a real match!

Ken: Dante and X-23! Chris Redfield and Jill Valentine! Spider-Man and Felicia! Arthur and Morrigan! Nathan Spencer and She-Hulk! And last but not least, my good pals Ryu and Chun-Li!

Dante sighed as he glanced up at the ceiling as if questioning his life. Chris glanced over and felt the same way. Spencer reached for the back of his pants to pull out a raging wedgie he had.

Ken: Alright everybody, you all know how this game works. We're trying to establish a connection between these contestants by either asking questions or some other type of action. We can determine their compatibility by their reactions, speed, voice, contact, effort, and chemistry! We also have lie detectors in the upper decks, so Eliza will tell me if any of you happen to lie...but we wouldn't do that now would we?

Ryu's heart was pounding. It felt like everyone in the audience had their eyes on him. Ryu began to sweat and his knees began to buckle while his eyes grew in size by the minute. Chun-Li glanced over and nudged Ryu.

Chun-Li: Ryu, pull yourself together. We're on TV..don't mess this up for me...

After she was done whispering to him, she gave him the meanest grimace he had ever seen. Ryu was even more nervous. He crossed his feet and began saying his ABC's.

Ryu: A...B...C...D...

Ryu closed his eyes and scratched his head as if he was struggling to remember the alphabet.

Ryu: E...F...H...

Chun-Li nudged Ryu again and punched him on his shoulder. She tried to keep her composure but she wanted to slap the crap out of Ryu.

Chun-Li: Shut up Ryu..just shut up.

Ryu: I can't..I'm going to have a planet attack...

Chun-Li: A what?

Ryu: A planet attack...this ant society is getting to me. I feel sick..I see things..I'm losing my balance..oh sweet mother of Tatsumaki..

Chris giggled and pointed at Ryu.

Chris: He's having a panic attack. This is gold. It makes me feel a whole lot better knowing that someone else is worse off than me!

Jill: Isn't he your friend? How can you be so insensitive, Chris?

Chris: He is..but I mean, look at him!

Jill: You're a jerk, Chris. Karma is going to pay you a visit very soon and he's going to be the one laughing at you.

Chris crossed his arms and glared at Jill.

Chris: Gee, thanks for basically jinxing me.

Jill smiled and said, "You're welcome."

Chun-Li: No, Ryu, it's ANXIETY, not ant society! And it's called a panic attack, not a planet attack!

Ken looked worried for his friend, Ryu. He thought about postponing the show, but he ultimately decided to keep going, hoping that Ryu would get better over time.

Ken: So without further delay, let's get into it!

The crowd immediately grew silent to listen to Ken's question. It was so silent in the room, one could probably hear Ryu's thumping heart if they listened close enough.

Ken: First question is for Spider-Man and Felicia!

Ken: Felicia, have you ever thought about dating Spider-Man? If so, why? Same question for you Spidey.

Felicia hesitated for a minute as she glanced over at the webslinger. She began to twiddle her thumbs as she tried to come up with words, but Spider-Man beat her to it.

Spider-Man: Yes. And because she's really cute. I think we'd have fun together..but I mean..that's down the road, yaknow? I've dealt with felines before, but I think this is one I could get down with.

Felicia immediately began to blush and she felt the increasing warmth of Spider-Man's stare piercing her body. If she opened her mouth, she would stutter. If she said nothing, the lie detectors would speak for her. What was she to do?

Felicia: I would too! I think P-Peter is really nice and I just think that it'd be fun to experience! He takes good pictures and he's good at cooking too..yum..

Dante looked surprised as he stared at the webslinger. He tapped his chest with his hands as if he had been heartbroken.

Dante: You never told me you could cook...when did you two have a dinner date?

Spider-Man rubbed the back of his head and held up his arm.

Spider-Man: It's..uhh..one of my hidden talents. And she asked me to make her meatbealls one night and my Italian blood got the best of me! You were in your room playing your guitar!

Chris: You sure those were the only balls you gave her?

The audience went silent as Spider-Man flinched in surprise. Felicia's googly-eyes directed themselves toward Chris as he chuckled on the floor.

Arthur looked confused. He nudged Morrigan and delivered his inquiry onto her.

Arthur: What are they talking about?

Morrigan: My dear sir Arthur..perhaps I should show you instead?

Arthur furiously shook his head.

Spencer: Spider-Man, answer the question!

Spider-Man: Spencer, shut up. You're the one that tried to spy on She-Hulk in the shower that one time! Trust me, I'm a reporter...I know these things.

The television above the audience showed the words, "HE'S RIGHT."

Spencer: Wait..so that thing can tell who's right and wrong too?

She-Hulk glared at Spencer and stood over him. As she cracked her knuckles, the audience began to yell and cheer, "GET HIM SHE-HULK!"

She-Hulk: I would run, Spencer.

Spencer's mouth trembled as he stared at She-Hulk in terror.

Spencer: Uhh..I had to ask you something that day and I-

She-Hulk decked Spencer right on the jaw and he flew into the wall next to the double doors.

X-23: What a pervert..eugh.

Chun-Li: Serves you right, peeping tom!

Ryu: Tom? His name is Spencer!

Chun-Li: SHUT UP, RYU.

Jill: Look at what you did, Chris! God, you are such an asshole I swear.

Ken grinned in excitement as he pointed at his cameramen. He directed them toward Chris and Jill and all eyes were on them.

Ken: So, is there something you'd like to get off of your chest, Jill?

Jill: Yeah, I do actually. I wish Chris would grow up sometimes. He can never let go of his childish ways and that's why it's hard for me to connect with him. We've always been friends, but I can't even picture myself as more than that as long as he keeps doing crap like this!

Chris began to sweat bullets.

Chris: Now wait a minute Jill, you're the one that said you LIKED my playful nature! You're so bipolar! That's why I can't CONNECT with you!

Jill got up and shoved Chris.

Jill: You're an idiot!

Chris: LIAR!

The Audience: OHHHHH!

Dante howled with laughter as he fell on the floor and rolled around holding his stomach. Arthur even began to chuckle.

Arthur: They argue like partners in courtship!

Morrigan: Married people, Arthur.

Arthur: Yes, that is what I said!

Morrigan: Ken, bring your cameras over here.

Ken directed his attention to Morrigan and complied to her wishes. The cameras were on Morrigan.

Morrigan: So tell me Arthur, why are you so afraid of me?

Arthur: What in tarnation? What are those devices you are using? Get those monstrosities away from me!

The cameramen surrounded Arthur and Arthur's hostility grew more and more. He pulled out his lance and swiped at the cameramen, like a survivor trying to keep zombies away with a torch.

Morrigan grabbed Arthur's lance (innuendo..haha), and tossed it to the side. She grabbed him by the beard and forced him to answer her question. The beard grappling quickly escalated in pain level.

Arthur: I'm not afraid of you, temptress! I've had enough experiences with your kind! My princess is waiting for me and I will not taint my purity with your vile soul!

Morrigan: No, Arthur. You're afraid because you think you're going to underperform.

Arthur went stiff. His eyes went blank and he stared deep into Morrigan's eyes. The rage within him had been unleashed. He tore Morrigan's hand away from his beard and pointed at the audience.

Arthur: I AM SIR ARTHUR! I WILL NEVER UNDERPERFORM. I WILL SHOW YOU, I'LL SHOW YOU ALL!

Arthur instantly stripped his armor off and ran around in his boxers. Soon after, he did the unthinkable.

Arthur stripped...butt-ass naked on stage in front of all of the cameras.

Morrigan grinned and floated toward Arthur.

Ryu: Woah..cool... O_o

Chun-Li yelped in disgust. Jill was flabbergasted and X-23 closed her eyes and groaned as she could see nothing but Arthur's buttocks.

Dante: WOOO! GO ARTHUR!

TV's everywhere had to censor Arthur's nudity and parents at home had to explain to their children what just happened. Arthur would soon be an entertainment phenomenon.

Felicia's eyes had been covered by Spider-Man, and even he covered his own eyes. He had to peek a few times to make sure what was happening was real.

Chris laughed so hard that he began to cry and choke; he rolled around with Dante and each time they looked at each other, they laughed even harder.

Arthur smiled triumphantly as he pointed at the ceiling.

Arthur: Do you see? This knight is no ordinary knight! I have conquered the lands of Tartarus and defeated demons like no other. I am Sir Arthur, knight of the Goddess!

Spencer woke up and upon seeing Arthur's nakedness, fell right back asleep. She-Hulk began to laugh alongside Dante and Chris.

Morrigan: Oh, Arthur! You sure showed me! I'll give you a prize...

Arthur: This time...I will accept your offer, temptress. Just to show you how wrong you are! Huzzah!

Morrigan: Huzzah!

Ken beamed enthusiastically, his ratings were on the verge of skyrocketing.

Ken: That is beautiful. But this isn't over yet, we still have more questions! Arthur, put your clothes back on and let's finish this thing! Okay, next up, Dante and X-23.

Dante instantaneously stopped laughing and snorted upon his name being called. Chris grinned widely at Dante who returned with a sickly scowl.

Ken: Dante, when you think of X-23..what's the first thing you see?

X-23 smiled and crossed her arms while eyeing the demon-slayer.

Dante glared at Chris Redfield who was snickering with his hand over his mouth.

Dante: Dude, he's laughing at me! Make him stop!

Ken: Oh don't worry, his question is coming after yours.

Chris immediately stopped laughing and his smile turned into a frown. What kinda question was he going to get after his fallout with Jill?! Was Wesker watching?

* * *

_**BACK AT THE HOUSE**_

Wesker, Dr. Doom, Super Skrull, Zero, Magneto and Viewtiful Joe were all piled up on the couch trying to watch the show.

Wesker instantly burst into a roar of laughter after seeing the look on Chris's face. He laughed, pointed, and nudged Dr. Doom.

Wesker: I cannot WAIT to hear his question. It will be marvelous. Wait until he gets here..

Dr. Doom: Calm down, Wesker. You act like an obsessed little girl.

Skrull: Yeah, what is it with you and Chris anyway? Why do you loathe him so?

Wesker: This stems all the way back to the mansion incident. You two cannot even begin to understand how much of a thorn in my side he was and STILL is. After the incident earlier, I'm hoping Jill embarrasses him again.

Wesker began to take his black V-neck shirt off.

Wesker: Is it hot in here or is it just me?

Zero: I have internal air conditioners, so I couldn't tell you.

Magneto: It feels good to me.

Wesker: This blasted heat is driving me crazy..ahh!

Wesker stood up and removed his black track pants. He smoothed his hair back and stood over Magneto, who only stared at him in horror.

Magneto: Albert Wesker...get your skin out of my face right now. Wesker turned around and bent over to remove his pants completely, unknowingly placing his ass right in Magneto's face.

Magneto: DAMN YOU WESKER. WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?

Super Skrull was just as confused as Magneto, and he stood up.

Super Skrull: I think we're about to have another Arthur incident...

Magneto: NO THE FUCK WE AREN'T.

Magneto tried to stand up to shove Wesker out of the way, but Wesker fell backwards before Magneto could move. Wesker's ass was directly on Magneto's face and Magneto let out the most blood curdling scream ever heard.

Magneto: AHHHHHH-SHOOKA-SOMMA-COS-TI-NA-DAAAAAA-AHHHHHHHHH!

Dr. Doom: My lord Wesker, what are you doing!?

Wesker: It's so hot in here...chill out Magneto. I gotta feel the wind between my knees, bro.

Viewtiful Joe looked puzzled.

Viewtiful Joe: Wesker..is that you?

Zero: Do you guys know how to play violin?

Magneto finally pushed Wesker off of him. Magneto stood up and breathed violently as he was intent on stomping Wesker out of commission. As he raised his foot, he noticed a bag of chocolate in the kitchen and he immediately made a dash for it.

Dr. Doom: I want a baby.

Super Skrull: Me too.

Viewtiful Joe was confused. Something wasn't right here. The guys were all acting very strange and soon he, too, began to display the same symptoms.

Viewtiful Joe: Woof.

* * *

_**GAME SHOW**_

Dante: The first thing I see..is..well...her gorgeous face...

The crowd "awwwwww'd". That is, until they saw the big "HE'S LYING" sign on the screen in front of them. The crowd started booing and X-23 was clearly confused.

Ken: Dante...what do you REALLY see when you first think about her?

Dante: I...well..you see...

Dante looked back and forth between X-23 and Ken Masters. He began to rub the back of his neck.

Morrigan: Spit it out Dante! I pretty much already know what it is...mmhmhm.

Dante whirled around and hissed at Morrigan. He swallowed hard and turned back toward Ken, who was waiting on his answer. Eliza was about five seconds from revealing the truth until a familiar face popped up on the television screen above.

It was Iron Man.

Iron Man: You guys have got to call off the show. You need to get back here right NOW. Something strange is going on. Hulk and Wolverine have disappeared and everyone here is acting funny. Viewtiful Joe thinks he's a...dog...

Iron Man frowned and began to shudder.

Iron Man: Joe...please let go of my leg.

Dante sighed a breath of relief and reassured Iron Man.

Dante: We'll be there in no time.

Iron Man: Thank you.

Iron Man began yelling at something that wasn't visible on the TV screen.

Iron Man: Captain America...? Steve? What are you-WHAT IS THAT ON YOUR HEAD?!

_KSSSSSSHHHTTTTT_. The transmission died.

Chun-Li stood up and looked at the others.

Chun: What in the world happened?

Chris: I don't know, but we should go.

Spencer: Agreed. I saw Super Skrull holding a fake baby. That CAN'T be good.

Spider-Man: Let's go guys! We need an amazing scene transition like in most super-hero shows!

Ken: I don't have that kind of money!

Spider-Man: Well luckily, I'm a superhero so I can do it. Here we go guys!

Ken: Wait..we still have to finish this later. When you guys get everything sorted out, we gotta keep this going. The fans love it! Arthur, baby, you're a riot!

Arthur smiled and took in all of the cheers of the audience.

X-23: Yeah, I still wanna know what Dante thinks about me.

Dante: Uhh, hey Peter, can we go now?

Spider-Man: Yeah man!

Spider-Man's logo appears on the screen for a split-second and then fades out; the group is immediately teleported back home.

Ryu: What? Who's home is this?

Chun-Li shook her head in disbelief.

Chun: OURS, Ryu.

Ryu: When did we get this?

Morrigan: Ryu, just hush. So, let's go find out what's going on.

Chris ran up to the front door and placed his ear on the door. He could hear nothing but chaos inside and all of the chatter made it hard for him to pinpoint exactly what was going on.

She-Hulk: Sounds rowdy..I'm going in.

Spencer extended his arm and stopped her from going.

Spencer: No, I'll handle this.

Spencer took a few steps back and charged at full speed, ramming into the door and busting it open. He screamed at the top of his lungs.

Spencer: HELP IS HERE!

But what Spencer saw was unlike anything he had ever seen. His mouth dropped and his body went numb. His eyes drooped like he hadn't slept in days.

She-Hulk: Spence? What's going on in there?

Chris drew his pistol and dashed in after Spencer. When he stood beside Spencer, he adopted the exact same expression as Spencer.

Iron Man was right, but strange was an understatement. This was flat-out bizarre.

Chris and Spencer stared at unbelieveable sights.

Viewtiful Joe was hopping around the living room and making cricket noises. Magneto was rolling around on the floor eating chocolate. Zero was in the west corner of the living room, playing a violin and doing terribly.

Dante and the others walked in on the site and they all had the same expression as Spencer.

Felicia: WHAT...

Spider-Man: THE...

She-Hulk: HELL...?

Wolverine had cleaning gloves on and he was wiping off the tables in the kitchen.

Wolverine: Ugh! Messy messy...don't you bubs know how to clean up after yourselves!?

Wesker had his shirt and pants off; he lounged on the couch and smiled as Chris stood at the entrance.

Wesker: Chris...so glad you all could join us. Come and chill with Albert, there's plenty more room.

Wesker's calm and cool demeanor was enough to drive Chris to the brink of insanity.

Chris: What is going on? _WHY IS WESKER NAKED_?!

Spider-Man: Arthur, and now Albert Wesker?! Felicia, cover your eyes..that is something NO ONE needs to see. Is today Nudist Day or something?

Dante: Did Wolverine just call people messy?

Spencer: Is he...cleaning?

Wolverine waved at his housemmates.

Wolverine: Make sure you bubs take your shoes off; don't track mud on the clean carpet!

Dante slapped himself. Ryu slapped himself twice.

_**ALL OF A SUDDEN...**_

Captain America came dashing down the hallway sporting Wesker's glasses and Iron Man's watches. As he spotted the group, he started doing a number of awkward poses and hand signs.

Captain America: Yo yo yo, Captain America got that funky flow!

Spider-Man burst into tears from laughing so hard. Dante couldn't help but laugh too as Wesker began to dance next to Captain America.

Captain America: Spent most of my years living in ice, but my shield toss is still unbelieveably precise!

Chun-Li: Captain America thinks he's a rapper now?

Captain America: Hey there little lady, whatcha got cookin? We drive fast cars as long as the fuzz ain't lookin!

Arthur: What is he talking about? I'm so confused.

Spencer: I thought Captain America didn't do drugs?

Chris: He doesn't...but I'm not so sure anymore..

Morrigan eyed Wesker and began to float toward him. Wesker eyed Morrigan and began to walk toward her.

Wesker: Hmm...and who might you be?

Morrigan: Mmmhmhm...I'll show you.

She took Wesker by the hand and was intent on leading him down the hall to her room until Dante and Arthur stopped her.

Dante: Morrigan, not now. Come on, we need you to help us figure this shit out..despite how funny it is.

Morrigan: Dante, let me have some fun!

Dante: You can have fun later, now come on. If Captain America the rapper isn't enough proof that something is going on around here, I dunno what is.

Morrigan: Ugh. Fine.

Dante looked around and noticed that Ryu and Chun-Li were nowhere to be found. Spencer and She-Hulk were gone too.

Dante: Where did they go?

Chris: Dude, I have no idea. I've been staring at Magneto this whole time. He's just...rolling on the floor.

Felicia: And Viewtiful Joe thinks he's a dolphin...

Viewtiful Joe dove like a dolphin off of the couch and onto the floor while making dolphin noises.

Dr. Doom and Super Skrull dashed down from the right side of the house. They were pushing a stoller with a fake baby inside. Super Skrull sported combed and sleeked-back hair, while Dr. Doom wore a green dress.

Super Skrull picked up the fake baby and smiled.

Super Skrull: What a MARVELous child. Don't you agree, Vickie Von Doomette?

Dr. Doom: I do agree my Skrullie-poo!

Dr. Doom hugged Super Skrull and they both laughed as they pranced around with the fake baby.

Dante began to drool from his mouth as he couldn't believe what was happening.

X-23 poked Dante on the head and pointed down the hall. Dante turned around and saw Thor playing with action figures and dolls, making sound effects and giving each of them voices.

Spider-Man: Uhh...where's Arthur?

Felicia: Arthur is gone too!

Dante ran into the kitchen and there he was. Arthur had a white apron on and a giant Chef Boyardee hat on his head instead of his helmet. He was in his boxers as he stood on a stool and stirred something in a pot on the stove. He sprinkled some kind of spice into the pot and he dipped a ladle in. As he sipped his concoction, he squeed with delight.

Arthur: Magnifico!

His assistant, Jill Valentine, provided the necessary materials for Arthur to assist his culinary endeavors.

They thought they were chefs on a TV show.

Dante: Arthur and Jill too...

X-23: I can't take this anymore.

X-23 turned to run outside but Dante grabbed her and pulled her back.

Dante: No. I'm not losing you too.

X-23 looked deeply into Dante's eyes and saw that he was sincere. She made no attempt to run and instead stood by Dante alongside Felicia, Spider-Man, Chris, and Morrigan.

Zero began to increase the tempo on his violin playing as Wesker began to recite poetry. Captain America started to beatbox and they formed this abomination of a music group. Viewtiful Joe became a flamingo and Magneto continued to roll. Wolverine walked back into the kitchen and slapped Arthur's hands away from the pot.

Wolverine: Did you even wash your hands before you started cooking, bub?

_**SOON AFTER...**_

A familiar green face burst through the wall where the front door was. He stood, silent, at the head of the house and another green figure accompanied him.

It was the Hulk and She-Hulk.

Dante breathed a sigh of relief upon seeing the two, but then...

The Hulk took a deep breath.

Hulk: Huuuuuuuuu...YOOOOOOOO SEE-SEE SAAAYYYYY OHHHHHHHHHHH!

His high-pitched screams destroyed every glass in the house and broke Captain America's glasses. He maintained the same pitch for as long as he could until he was out of breath.

Chris's ears began to bleed but Morrigan started clapping. X-23 and Felicia got knocked off of their feet and overall, the house was lopsided after such a performance by the Hulk.

Super Skrull: Hulk, keep your voice down! You're scaring the child!

Spider-Man: So now Hulk thinks he's an opera singer?

Dante: That's it. I'm going to find out what's going on here.

Chris: Where do we start?

Felicia looked worried. She grabbed onto Spider-Man's arm.

Felicia: I don't wanna be like them. Are they zombies?

Morrigan: Of course not. They are being magically manipulated though. I can't tell where the force is coming from, but I can see it all over the Hulk.

Dante: Magic, huh?

Spider-Man: You've got nothing to worry about, Felicia. We gotta contact Doctor Strange guys.

X-23: He knows all about magic.

Dante: I think I know who's behind all this though.

Captain America walked up to Dante and put his arm around his neck.

Captain America: Figuring it out is like a walk in the park, all you gotta do is find-

_**BOOOSH**_.

Spencer karate chopped Captain America from behind and knocked him out cold.

Chris: Thank you, Spen-

Spencer: -Don't talk to me. I gotta go lift some weights and drink my protein shakes!

X-23: Not you too!

She-Hulk ran up behind Spencer and grabbed him by his hair.

She-Hulk: Let's go plant some flowers!

Spencer slapped her hand away.

Spencer: NO! I'm gonna go lift my weights!

They both scurried off down the hallway.

Dante: Spencer the musclehead and She-Hulk the gardener...

Chris: Wait...where's Iron Man?

Dante: That's exactly my question. I think he's behind all of this.

Morrigan: Whoever it is..I think we're going to find them in the basement.

Spider-Man: You sense it down there?

Morrigan: Yep. Either Tony is playing a trick on us or someone is seriously manipulating us.

Ryu and Chun-Li all of a sudden darted into the living room. Ryu had on some sophisticated looking glasses on with a pink bow tie on and Chun-Li ran to the kitchen to eat some of Arthur's cooking.

Chris stared at Ryu and reached out to him.

Chris: Ryu...you okay?

Ryu: I am neither physically nor mentally ill, so I believe that I am doing rather well. My calculations suggest that a number of individuals in this room however, are vastly different in psyche than their previous incarnations.

Dante and Chris passed out upon Ryu completing his last word.

Spider-Man: That isn't Ryu.

Morrigan: That is some STRONG magic.

Felicia: Ryu is...smart?

X-23: I'm feeling weird...

X-23 clenched her forehead and struggled to stand. Spider-Man and Felicia used their bodies to support her weight.

Spider-Man: Morrigan, we need to know who's doing this.

All of a sudden, Iron Man burst from the basement. His clothes were singed and his hair was a mess. He looked as if he had seen 500 corpses under his mattress or something.

Iron Man: You guys...you need to go to the basement...it's Dormammu...he's lost it...

Morrigan: Dormmamu?

Iron Man: We were playing cards and I beat him..and he got pissed and he dropped this box-thing...

Iron Man began to draw out what the box looked like with his fingers.

Iron Man: Retangular..black..ominous. It unleashed some shit after it broke open and that's when everyone started acting all weird. Even Dormammu is affected.

Felicia: So why was he carrying it around?

Iron Man: Beats me. I guess to get revenge on people that have wronged him, but this was an accident.

Morrigan: How do you know?

Iron Man: Why would he affect himself? He's all...feminine now.

Chris and Dante finally woke up.

Spider-Man: So, what do we do?

Iron Man: Destroy the thing. Spider-Man, you and Felicia can get rid of it because it can't feed on people that are feeling a dominant emotion.

Spider-Man: I don't follow?

Iron Man: Love.

Felicia began to blush again.

Iron Man: Not love-love, but you two have that attraction that repels the box's influence. Dante and X-23 had it, but their attraction isn't as strong as yours, which is why X-23 is starting to feel its affect.

Chris: What about me?

Iron Man: I'm not sure...you're not connected to Morrigan are you?

Chris: No.

Morrigan: I'm not affected because I'm a succubus, I bet.

Iron Man: And I'm an incubus!

Morrigan: Shut up, Tony.

Iron Man: Yes ma'am! But anyway, Dormmamu said that the only way to properly destroy the thing is to get someone with a psyche beyond repair to interrupt its flow.

Dante: How do we do that?

Chris: The closest thing I can think of is Ryu.

Iron Man: I dunno, but you guys figure it out. I need a drink.

Iron Man stumbled off toward the door; he grabbed the keys to the Ferarri and walked out.

Dante: Hmm...

Chris: Got something?

Dante: I sure do...I know exactly what to do.

* * *

_**ON THE ROOF**_

?: Sunbathing! Good for expoliating the pores! I feel as soft as baby butt cheeks!

Dante climbed up onto the roof of the house and stood over the other individual. His figure was like a shadow; standing in front of the sun and blocking the light from the other.

Dante: Hey, we need your help.

?: Now? Aww...but I was getting ready for my date with Death! We're going to go get some CHIMICHANGAS!

Dante: Deadpool, just c'mere. It'll only take five minutes.

Deadpool stood up and sighed.

Deadpool: Fine. Funny story though Dante, I was trying out for the Olympics in the backyard and I actually pole-vaulted up here! I was too scared to jump down though so I was stuck.

Dante: Really?

Dante could care less.

Deadpool: Yeah! Gotta make the most of the situations you're placed in right? Cable taught me that!

Dante: Yeah..actually..that's pretty true now that I think about it.

They both jump down.

Dante: I thought you were scared to jump?

Deadpool: I said that?

Dante: Yeah, dude.

Deadpool: I am. But, we haven't jumped silly.

Dante: We just did.

Deadpool: No we didn't.

Dante: Yeah. We did.

Deadpool paused.

Deadpool: AHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Hulk immediately ran outside and began to sing in his opera voice until Super Skrull covered his mouth with his elastic arms.

Dante: Thank the Lord.

Deadpool: What was big green guy doi-

Dante made Deadpool shut up and walk. Dante and Deadpool walked down to the basement and met up with the others. X-23 was barely hanging in there.

Deadpool: So, you want me to talk to this box? I'm not that crazy you guys. But this is a pretty nice box. I wonder where it came from? Probably Taiwan. Or Indonesia! They make good papayas! Or is that Spain? Madrid? Cuba? Oh, this is one spiffy box! I can put my grandma's dentures in here! Stylish, right Dante? HAHAHAHA.

The box began to shake and smoke was coming from its underside.

Deadpool: Ah, yes. Deadpool and Box! The Ultimate Duo! I'll get one of those motorcycles and you can sit on the passanger car..thing..yeah! Oh I know! How about you go to dinner with me and Death? Or..Death and I? Grammar always confuses me!

The box couldn't take anymore of Deadpool's babbling.

Deadpool: Boxxie..you don't look so good. Don't die Boxxie! I love you!

The box exploded in Deadpool's hands.

Deadpool: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! BOOOOXXXIIIIEEEEEEEEE!

Chris: Is it over?

Felicia: I really, really hope so.

The crew walked back upstairs, leaving Deadpool to his mourning. Dormammu stumbled in from the left and hugged Deadpool.

Dormammu: Thank you. Thank you Wade.

Deadpool: Is that..is that make-up on your face?

Dormammu: Don't you DARE say a word to the others.

Deadpool: How can flaming heads wear make-up?

Dormammu: Magic.

Deadpool: Ohhhhh...so does that mean I can get tattoos on my teeth!?

Dormammu: Wade..you did well. But now, you can shut up.

Dormammu stumbled up the stairs as Deadpool inspected his face.

Upstairs, Captain America sat on the floor clutching the back of his head.

Dante: Yo yo yo Captain America!

Captain America: ...what?

Chris: Cap is back!

Captain America: Where did I go?

Spider-Man: Nowhere good. Just stay boring, it suits you, k?

Captain America shook his head and walked toward the couch.

Super Skrull and Dr. Doom immediately started fighting each other while Hulk ran to the kitchen to get some water. He lost his voice.

In the kitchen, Arthur paused and examined what exactly he was cooking.

Arthur: What in tarnation? What is this weapon?

He held up the ladle and sauce poured all onto the floor. Wolverine walked by and laughed at the mess Arthur made.

Wolverine: Nice spill, bub.

Chun-Li had food poisoning from eating all of Arthur's secret sauce. Zero hurriedly destroyed the violin he was practicing with and sat on the couch with Captain America and Wolverine.

Wesker did not mind being naked, however. He put on his magically appearing glasses and retained his old condescending voice and dastardly schemes. Magneto got sick to his stomach after seeing more chocolate and ran outside to vomit. Viewtiful Joe felt pain all throughout his body for his multiple animal personas and their respective movements.

Ryu was the one rolling around on the floor now. Chris walked up to him and looked at him.

Chris: Ryu, what's 2 + 2?

Ryu: 22. What kind of a question is that? haha

Chris: Good, Ryu's stupid again.

Thor rushed out of his room and immediately flew off outside.

Thor: Iron Man called. Said he needed a partner to get intoxicated. We'll drink...FOR ASGARD!

Thor flies off with Mjolnir.

Spencer and She-Hulk came out of the attic. Spencer was crying and She-Hulk was dying of laughter. Spencer couldn't move either arm...even his bionic one, and his legs felt like spaghetti.

Spencer: It's all YOUR fault!

She-Hulk: No, YOU were stubborn. If you would have just listened to me you wouldn't have-

She-Hulk: -Hey guys!

Dante: You two are alright?

She-Hulk: He's not.

Jill Valentine walked out of the kitchen and punched Chris.

Jill: You didn't see any of that back there.

Chris: Wait..you remember?

Jill: I've always wanted to be a chef.

Chris: Learn something new every day! So..you weren't different either?

Jill: A little, but I was having fun with Arthur. I didn't want to ruin it.

Chris: So that means...

Jill: What?

Chris: Nothing.

Felicia was standing beside Spider-Man in the living room, behind the couch.

Felicia: Sooo...about earlier...

Spider-Man: Yeah?

Felicia: You really mean all that?

Spider-Man: I wouldn't lie about that. Don't believe me?

Felicia: No I do, but..

Spider-Man: Your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man can be trusted. I might be a webhead, but these webs have never been clearer.

Felicia: Peter..

Spider-Man: Like my great old man once told me...with great power comes great responsibility. These feelings..are powerful. We gotta be in control of this. Without control, it's lust.

Felicia: I understand and I agree. Kinda crazy how this all played out though..

Spider-Man: You gotta make the most out of the situations you're placed in Felicia. I'm placed in this situation with you. And I wanna make the most out of this.

Felicia: What if it doesn't work?

Spider-Man: We can beat Dante and X-23, I bet.

Felicia: I'm serious.

Spider-Man: Whatever happens, happens. We feel mutual right? Why not act on it?

Felicia: Yeah...I guess you're right.

Spider-Man placed his arm around Felicia's shoulder and brought her closer. Felicia couldn't help but feel a sense of doubt within her heart. Deep down, she knew that she felt something deeper for Spider-Man and she was afraid he wouldn't return those feelings. She saw herself as a plaything..or a "summer fling" of sorts. She wanted to be more. She wanted to be special.

* * *

_**IN THE KITCHEN AT THE TABLE**_

X-23: Sooo..Dante...you gonna tell me the answer to that question Ken asked? Since you..yaknow..lied?

Dante was drinking orange juice at the time of her question and he promptly spit it out afterward.

Dante: Uhh...Chris, you gonna play those cards or what!?

Chris: Yeah man. But I think X-23 was asking you something dude.

X-23: Thank you, Chris.

Dante: Oh come on guys!

Ryu: Chun-Li, want some donuts? They taste funny. They are so hard to bite..I almost lost my teeth trying to eat this one!

He showed her the donut he had been nibbling on. They were stale donuts that were as hard as bricks.

Chun-Li gagged and slapped the donuts away. One donut smashed Ryu's foot and he screamed in excrutiating pain.

Ryu: Why did you step on my foot!

Chun-Li: I didn't! Those stale donuts did!

Ryu: Donuts don't step on feet! You eat them!

Chun-Li: Ryu, your donuts are HARD and STALE.

Wesker was making some lemonade as he overheard Chun-Li's shouts.

Wesker: Now THAT sounds like a personal problem.

Wesker and Magneto did a toast and drank their lemonade while chatting about their next schemes.

Wolverine and The Hulk sat at the table as well and looked at their cards.

Wolverine: Got any 3's, bub?

Hulk: *cough, wheeze*

Wolverine: Damn, Bruce. You might wanna go lie down or somethin'.

Hulk: *garble* Raoh!

Wolverine was dumbfounded.

Wolverine: What?

Zero: A violin? I hate violins.

Spider-Man: Yeah, you were playing a violin and The Jolly Green Giant lost his voice due to his MARVELous singing talent! Ain't that a shame, Bruce? Now you can listen to all of my jokes and you can't tell me to stop!

The fear in Hulk's eyes could be seen from a mile away. Wolverine chuckled.

Dormammu walked in the kitchen and raised his arms, trying to get everyone's attention.

Dormammu: I apologize everyone. That box of mine was something...I should have kept locked away. You see, that box was what I liked to call Pandora's Box.

Deadpool: It was pretty!

Dormammu: The box is evil. Once opened, it would unleash foul spirits upon the world that would burrow itself into people. Once registered to an individual, it would alter their personality to match something that is almost the polar opposite of what they really are.

Chris: Which explains Ryu's intelligence and Wolverine's cleanliness.

Wolverine: I don't believe any of this, jack. I NEVER clean tables. EVER.

Dormammu: This box has the power to do that. But the box fears stronger emotions, mainly love. And other emotions have the ability to..obscure..its path and it can lead to some..abnormalities, shall we say.

Zero: What do you mean by that? The spirits can have their designated goal disrupted?

Dormammu: Exactly. You all said that Wesker was perfectly fine being naked, right?

Wesker: Indeed.

Dormammu: The spirts can be "confused" by emotions like obsession or infatuation. To put it in simpler terms, the spirts are afraid of relationships and the emotions that precede them.

Dormammu: Chun-Li and Jill felt as though they were in control of their minds, but the influence was there, correct?

Chun-Li and Jill: Yeah.

Dormammu: That means that you feel a certain emotion for someone within your proximity. Spencer and She-Hulk felt this too, did you not?

Spencer: I felt pretty damn influenced.

She-Hulk: As did I.

Dormammu: Well, in any case. I apologize for that. I didn't mean for that to happen because it even corrupted me. Deadpool would fill you in on those details but I'm afraid I'd have to kill him if he did. So, he's going to be a good boy and stay quiet.

Dante: Don't worry, Iron Man told us about your feminine ways.

Dormammu scowled and made a low grunt as he stepped back.

Dormammu: If you'll excuse me.

Dormmamu bowed and left the kitchen while cursing under his breath. He shot Magneto a middle finger as he walked by and threatened to incinerate him in his sleep. Magneto laughed and taunted Dormammu by making the gesture of putting in a tampon. Dormammu cursed and slammed the door on his way out.

X-23: So, you gonna answer me or not?

X-23 now stood over Dante's chair as Dante kicked back and looked at his cards.

Dante: X, can it wait babe?

X-23: No, it really can't. Is it good or bad?

Dante: Is both a viable answer?

Chris, X-23, Wesker, Magneto, Wolverine, and Chun-Li: NO!

Dante: Geez! Okay. I think...

Felicia's ears perked up.

Dante: I think about you...

Wesker moved forward to listen while Jill Valentine and Arthur walked in.

Dante: Like...

Ryu: Why is everyone so qui-

Everyone: SHUT UP, RYU.

Ryu: ...bu-

Everyone: SHUT. UP. RYU.

Ryu: Oh my Metsu...

Ryu slumped in his seat and looked at his cards.

When everyone turned back around to interrogate Dante, he was nowhere to be found. X-23 was fuming angry.

X-23: I'm going to kill him.

Spider-Man: Gotta love that white-haired guy.

Chris: HA! Love.

Wesker: Ironic, eh Chris?

Chris: What?

Wesker eyed Jill, and walked back into the living room.

Jill was puzzled. Chris gritted his teeth and played cards.

* * *

_**ON THE ROOF**_

Dante took Deadpool's spot on the roof and sunbathed.

Dante: HA! Thought they had me. Can't corner the ol' Dante.

Deadpool lay right beside him.

Deadpool: I miss Boxxie.

Dante was startled beyond belief. He was so shocked that he actually rolled off of the roof and into the bushes below, right where She-Hulk was trimming the hedges.

She-Hulk: DANTE!

Dante sat up and tried to pose the hedges back to their original shape.

Dante: Uh...good as new? I thought you didn't like gardening?

She-Hulk: I would run.

Dante: Running.

Dante ran as fast as he could around the house and soon, X-23 joined She-Hulk in the chase.

A car pulled up in the yard, and out came many of the missing guests: Trish, Storm, Phoenix, Taskmaster, Amaterasu, C. Viper, MODOK, Mike Haggar, and Sentinel.

Taskmaster immediately jumped out of the long car and ran into the house and into the kitchen.

Taskmaster: Guys, we've got some FUCKING news.

Chris: Jesus Christ, Taskmaster. Give us some warning next time.

Taskmaster: Galactus isn't running for President anymore, he moved to another planet. However, we now have two candidates running for office!

Felicia: Who, Taskmaster!?

Taskmaster: Shuma Gorath and Doctor Strange!

Iron Man and Thor crashed through the ceiling.

Wolverine: Tony, you gotta stop doing that.

Iron Man: Sorry. But we need to go vote, everyone. Shuma is promising to stimulate our economy by providing healthcare benefits to increase labor production!

Magneto: What an idiot.

Wesker: That'll never work!

Thor: Doctor Strange is threatening to ban alcoholic beverages.

Magneto, Wesker, Taskmaster, Deadpool, Wolverine, Captain America, Chris, Spencer, and Morrigan: OH HELL NO!

Arthur: What are we going to do?

Iron Man: We need someone else to run...we need...

Mike Haggar burst in right after Iron Man's ellipsis. He pumped his arms into the air and pointed at himself.

Haggar: I'M RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT, and Arthur, I want you to generate publicity for me!

Arthur: Me?

Haggar: Yes you! You're a sensation in pop culture right now! You would boost my votes by a ginormous margin!

Haggar started shaking and began to foam at the mouth just thinking about it. Felicia looked worried.

Felicia: Are you okay, Mike?

Zero: He looks like he's going to implode.

Deadpool: NO! No implosions in the kitchen! Go outside!

Mike Haggar: I'M STARTING MY CAMPAIGN...AFTER THESE COMMERCIAL BREAKS!

Viewtiful Joe: DUN DUN DUNNNN!

* * *

TBC

If any of you still read this and even if you don't, thank you for all of your support throughout this fic. I like to look at the reviews I've gotten from time to time and they always make me smile. I know there are still a few things that I need to work on, but I'm excited to continue this.

Thank you all, and see you next time!


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